ThePrisoner

I’ve just accidentally swallowed my cats tablet!!
Don’t ask me-ow
 
When Lord Nelson died he was five feet tall. On his statue in Trafalgar Square he's 15 feet tall.
That's Horatio of 3:1.

Drivers who don't accelerate on a motorway slip road, Meaning as they attempt to merge into the traffic in the inside lane, they're not matching the speed of the vehicles already on the motorway. So as a result they are a danger to themselves, other drivers already on the motorway and a pain in the butt to the driver who as followed them down the slip road. As they too try to join the motorway safely.

Just heard that Brendan Rodgers was sacked?

Cyclists down Staker Lane.  Piss off. 

Getting old there Angry, size of that text the neighbours can read along with you ?

Jody Morris is clearly an avid reader of the forum.

Do they count as flags? 

Gibbo interviewing FL is unwatchable. A question is never even asked, the answer is always given within the question.
Gibbo: A disappointing night but a case of move on to the next game?
FL: Yes.
Gibbo: Just one of those occasions where things don't go your way but roll up your sleeves and back to the training ground?
FL: Yes.
Even Kim Jong Un would blush at this coverage.

To make it up to her, why not book a table for you both, tonight?
...I presume she does like snooker, yeah?

Blimey, your dogs clever if it uses a fork. ?

Interviewer:  How do you perform under pressure?
Me: Not well, however, I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody...

I was more worried about what @Parsnip might try to make out from the boot reflection after #bathtapgate 

Looks very much like a Boxer to me.

I can add an entry for unwatchable telly - Comedians watching football with friends on Sky.
What a waste of electricity.
Your mates would produce a better version.

Ugh. I've gone right off em then.

I’m up to my Hilton at the moment. Be back later. 

Not as bad as driving around with fog lights on when it's not foggy or thinking if you put you hazard lights on you can stop/park anywhere.

Drive around with roof boxes on their cars all year round. 

Blimey, you need to get them legs out in the sun a bit more. They're whiter than mine. 

Facebook innit? When a chick's had a hard day at work they like to post a photo of their legs in a bubble bath with a glass of wine in shot accompanied by some hashtag like #metime or summat. 
And if they happen to have chrome taps then they're there to be zoomed in on. That's what the zoom function is for.
I don't make the rules.

I just zoomed in on the pan to see if I could see more clues in the reflection (a trick I like to use on bath taps when girls post photos of their legs in the bath)... I think I can make out an empty packet of dried smash. Has David been for dinner?

A harbour?

There's a few funny pictures creeping in here just lately.  I'm sure there's a dedicated "Funny Pics" thread somewhere?
 
#justsayin'

I'm on the Adam Ant diet
Don't chew ever, Don't chew ever
 
(one for the oldies there)

People who quote the entire first extremely lengthy post of a thread. Bumholes.