ThePrisoner

That explains why we didn't turn up at Wembley then. Three times, Frank. Three times!

People who cheat at pub quizzes are the lowest of the low. Utter Bamfords.
 

@David send this picture to the old bill, using the phone while behind the wheel.
Watch him deny it and say he was parked up in the middle of the road with the engine off.
 

That the carpet you're having? Very colourful!

That the carpet you're having? Very colourful!

Hey guys, after not going to sleep until half 3 this morning due to all sorts of things running through my brain we went for the scan this morning at 8, after a little bit of a wait we were seen to be told that the baby was absolutely fine, had a heartbeat, 2 legs, 2 arms, was exactly where he/she should be and they didn’t know what caused the bleeding but there was nothing to suggest it was to do with the baby. 
Move been absolutely petrified of the worst over the last couple of days but being told that was genuinely the best thing to ever happen to me. Over the moon ? not much to look at just yet as it’s only been cooking for 9 weeks 2 days but here they are! ?

Lane 2 hoggers on a 4 lane motorway when lane one is clear!
I know undertaking is wrong, but I can’t help myself sometimes, and they still don’t pull over!

The silly mind games of Mrs Pastinaak.
She and the kids have been out all day leaving me and the dog to our own devices. 
First thing she does when she gets in? Looks me up and down then hands me the car keys. "I forgot to go to the co op on the way home, can you nip?".
So I quite reasonably inform her that me and the dog stopped by the Jug & Glass on our walk at lunch and I had a half of lager so sadly I can't drive. She comes back with "Well that was 5 hours ago so that half will be well out your system by now, so can you nip?".
Of course I can't nip. I had 5 pints at the Jug and I've been necking Cobras all afternoon watching Spurs snap Toffee legs. She knows it and I know it.
This charade is becoming an all too regular occurrence. 

Unrealistic to have Marriott playing from the start

I never stick to 20 limits tbh

When people ignite the cyclist vs driver debate in this thread for about the 8th time.

When your child does something new which you are proud of, you don't need to stick it on Instagram/ Twitter/ Facebook.
Several reasons really...
1) People other than you don't care. (Harsh but true)
2) Enjoy the moment without sticking a camera in their face.
3) Other people who follow you may have kids who haven't reached that stage. And it will worry the poo out of them.

I just want to say to whoever stole my trainers and high-vis vest: You can run, but you can’t hide.

Quick quid going out of business. Loath payday lenders and all bloodsuckers of their ilk.
 

Just reminded me, I haven’t fed the dog yet

Now, I'd have to agree with you here as a Kettle Chip is a much thicker and harder crisp. Try a pack of Walkers Salt and Vinegar, then you'll see!

Just at the hospital, waiting to see my niece for the first time. Bought some Kettle Chips from the vending machine and, @ThePrisoner, I can confirm that you are wrong. Horribly wrong. The feeling of a cold crisp on the tongue simply isn’t right. 

You're brave mentioning After 8 on here. It was a contentious issue on here only a couple of weeks ago. Still is in some cases. 

Just put his clocks back 20 minutes.

Partly because one of those three was actually at Villa ?

Well some of them do need a lift 

Indicators
If you're turning or changing lane, fecking use them. Have some manners.
And, lorry drivers and taxis, the simple act of using your indicator does not give you automatic right to change lane. Wait until it's clear.