FindernRam

Yep you're right.

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

Apologies for the Caps lock, but see first line!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE.
 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE? I DON'T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 

1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT? 

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES...THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 

17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED. 

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

at twenty to thirty if a man lives right
It's once in the morning and twice every night.
From thirty to forty if he still lives right
He misses a morning and sometimes a night
From forty to fifty it's just now and then
And when he's past fifty it's heaven knows when
When he gets past sixty he might feel inclined 
But don't let him kid you, it's all in his mind
It used to be embarrassing to make the thing behave
'cause every single morning it would stand and watch him shave
But now that he is older it just gives him the blues
Cos all it does is hang there and watch him shine his shoes
It doesn't shine so bright now, the pilot light's gone out,
What used to be his sex appeal is now his water spout.
 
Amazing what gets passed down the generations isn't it?
 

A Valentines Lament:::
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave
For each and every morning, it would stand and watch me shave
Now as old age approache,s it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head and watch tie my shoes!
 
 
 
 

A Valentines Lament:::
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave
For each and every morning, it would stand and watch me shave
Now as old age approache,s it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head and watch tie my shoes!
 
 
 
 

There was a picture somewhere which showed it all spread out including 10 £20 quid notes. Wine was Malbec.
PS Didn't Trust me,! You been talking to my missus?

They did:£200 quid donation to funds
Bottle of Macallan, 2 bottles of red and box of Ferrero Rocher. Also a card of heartfelt apologies.

That's a coincidence. I always have tea between twenty to seven and half seven too. Just like @Mucker1884

1840s or 1930s? 

I'm on a diet and was feeling quite self righteous about how well the denying stuff was going.  Then: You mention my favourite dessert and I headed for the freezer and microwave!!!!

Thank you for the kind words again everyone it truly means a lot to me and the mrs! An update on the rollercoaster  of emotions is as my messages last week there was fluid under the babies skin which shouldn't have been there so we had to go to grottingham on Thursday  for a CVS,  the experts had a scan before the test and I quote "we don't really know why you were sent here as at the minute everything seems to be fine, the down syndrome risk came back as 1 in 1668 which is good so they've told us to assume everything is normal and we need to go.back at the  beginning of January for another scan to see what's what. To say I was a mess this last week was an understatement (so much so I was odd work sick) but this news was amazing and means at least until next month we can carry on as normal and enjoy christmas. ?

You may want to try Brum. Many wounded were treated there and I would guess PTSD etc would be on the skills list

You forget to allow 3m for wobble room. At least you are assuming they are on the left to start with. Down Bakeacre lane last week two oldies in Lycra side by side were coming at me on my side of the road, on a bend. Gave ME a right load of verbals because I tooted at them.

Didn't want to depress him too much. My eldest left at 18, came home a weeks later and stayed still she got married!

Some simple light hearted rules to get you through the early days:
1. Mother is always right! Follow her instincts and life is easier.
2. If Mum is not around and you desperately need advice, talk to her Mother, NOT yours. See rule 1. She gets her methods from her mother.
3. Crying babies are normal, check nappy, wind, temperature. Fixes most events
4. Screaming is not normal, lethargy is worrying, get medical advice.
5. Spend time with the little one, ooh and coo, make faces let you inner infant out and enjoy it.
P.S The sleepless nights bit is temporary, it eases off for a bit, starts up again around teething and continues till they leave home at 18!

Actually that's a very good point. Making an appt with my doctor (and I suspect most people's) is the same
Either book an advance appt online for 3 weeks time, or it's "ring at 8am and wait in the queue" 
I've never had to cancel one so I never thought of that, but yeah agreed

A Helpful Link...  for the latter two.
 

Didn't want to depress him too much. My eldest left at 18, came home a weeks later and stayed still she got married!

Some simple light hearted rules to get you through the early days:
1. Mother is always right! Follow her instincts and life is easier.
2. If Mum is not around and you desperately need advice, talk to her Mother, NOT yours. See rule 1. She gets her methods from her mother.
3. Crying babies are normal, check nappy, wind, temperature. Fixes most events
4. Screaming is not normal, lethargy is worrying, get medical advice.
5. Spend time with the little one, ooh and coo, make faces let you inner infant out and enjoy it.
P.S The sleepless nights bit is temporary, it eases off for a bit, starts up again around teething and continues till they leave home at 18!