ketteringram

Yes; there's another one in September but we raise awareness all year round. The Community Trust run the men's team talk group and there are loads of people to talk to if someone needs to. I am always happy to signpost if anyone wants to know what's out there. To be honest, in a crisis I'd always contact the Samaritans.
I personally find Christmas and New Year a difficult time as you remember people no longer around but there is always hope of better times and new experiences to come. Really,  those times are in our own grasp - if we have life's basics then we can build on them. Not necessarily by acquiring money but doing more of the things that make us happy. 
All the best.

I’ve had an unusual 2018. I worked incredibly hard for my A-Level results that got me a place at the University of Manchester, where I’ve met some great mates. I had a great summer due to the national team’s heroics and Derby are shaping up nicely this term.
However, I got hit with some upsetting family news in the summer (World Cup Final day) which has affected, and will continue to affect, my whole world, none more so than today. I bloody love Christmas but today, due to the aforementioned news, was rather subdued and disappointing compared to the typically lively family affair.
This has led me to drink a fair few whiskeys and gins after everyone has gone to bed in order to improve the day. During this little session, I had a good chat (via video call) with my mates and I’m feeling much better now.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to get at with this post, and I know that many are going through far greater difficulties than me (thankfully, I’ve never had issues with mental health) but I thought this was the best place to get things off my chest, particularly because the people on this forum are absolutely fantastic and like a second family to me (@coneheadjohn and @angieram in particular). 
I will regret this post tomorrow morning when I read this as a sober man but, in my mellow state, I feel like it is important to get things off my chest, particularly when I haven’t been able to offload my worries (regarding the family news) to anybody since I found out (I’m the only one in my immediate family who hasn’t told anyone). To all who read this post, I doubt it makes any sense.
Anyway, I really do love this forum. I know that I’m usually a happy-clapping, Dark Fruits-drinking, joke-making poster but nobody’s life is perfect; including mine. 
I hope everyone had a great Christmas and I expect you all to be looking out for me on the telly as I cheer on the mighty Rams at Bramall Lane tomorrow.
Up the ducking Rams.

Safe to say Ruby has well and truly settled in now! Dogs are for life guys ?

Merry Xmas from Vienna Christmas Market

Hello all, 
It's hard to post this but this week has been possibly the worst my mental health has ever been. I recently posted in another thread about wanting to make 2019 positive but ever since Saturday i've gone downhill so so fast. 
I had a little worry, It started as a minor worry, then it developed inside me to a concern, the grew larger and larger into a huge obsession that i couldn't shift and consequently i found myself at the doors of depression. 
I started taking my Citalopram on Saturday but it hasn't yet kicked in. On Monday, i was in absolute hysteric floods of tears crying to my Mum and Dad and since then the floodgates have definitely opened. My mum gave me a Diazepam to help calm me down but this just made me dizzy and sick before eventually having a calming effect late on in evening.
Tuesday i went in to work as normal at about 2:30 my boss told me to get home and rest because i looked very ill. I went to play football in the evening as i always do on Tuesday but this proved extremely difficult. I thought the exercise and fresh air would do me wonders but inside all i was doing was fixating on my problems. Despite nearly passing out 3 times i managed to make it through. After another cry to my parents i managed 6 hours sleep.
Wednesday i was able to see the doctor. He gave me more tablets and some numbers for CBT therapy providers in the local area. I immediately rang them and was quite shocked just how long the process can take and one of them was charging quite a considerable amount.
Wednesday evening as i attempted to try to be active to my mind of things i panicked and fainted for a good few minutes. After coming round i was take to my bed where again, i found myself in floods of tears being consoled by Girlfriend, Mum and Dad.  
Yesterday morning i woke up very early again. 4:45 to be exact. I dragged my duvet down stairs hoping that a change of scenery may help. I went to take my tablet in the morning as i've started doing and then i got really really scared. I looked at these tablets and though 'Why don't i just take loads of them and then i won't have to feel like this anymore?' So i took one, then took a second one straight after. I started Vomiting almost immediately afterwards, panicking and deep breathing. Before i knew, i had fainted once again only to be found by my Mum. Once i had come round, my vomiting continued and my thoughts worsened about just taking more tablets to stop me feeling bad or anything all together. I was taken straight to the hospital and given a number of physical tests that all came back positive so i was allowed to come home. I hadn't at this point mentioned to the hospital or anyone that i was feeling suicidal.  As the afternoon progresses my mood swung again, up and down and up and down again. Eventually i was again hysterical and i decided that i had to tell my parents that i'd worried about ending things that morning if i could. I explained to them that i felt like a constant failure and that peoples life would be easier without me there. I don't think i've ever cried as much as i did yesterday. I had the same conversation with my girlfriend that evening and it absolutely destroyed me saying what i said but i was and still am scared that i will do something stupid. My dad rang one of the metal health helplines and i explained to them what was happening in my mind and they marked me as 'critical' meaning i needed immediate help. They eventually rang and they were absolutely no help what so ever. The earliest they could see me was Saturday afternoon and despite my girlfriend pleading with the man on the phone that i needed immediate help he just said 'Saturday afternoon' then shut down the conversation to hang up. I was left in the darkest hole i think i could possibly have been in and if it wasn't for the people around me i don't know what i would have done. 
I actually began to improve last night and decided that this morning i would come in to work and get myself some routine back. I have done and so far i'm just about on top of my emotions but even the littlest things feels like it could set me off. 
Christmas is my favourite time of the year and i can't even think about it. I just want to be better for it so the people who are around me can enjoy it too. 
I'm sorry for the essay but i thought writing it down might help and i'm hopeful that i can be on the mend soon and one day look back on it with the experience to help others
 

I ended up having the surgery at 1.30pm this afternoon after a last minute hitch delayed things after I'd been prepped originally at midnight.
21hrs nil by mouth in the end.
Fookin hurts, two incisions in the bawlbag then flush out and clean the infection, now starting a 24hr IV course of antibiotics for now, but will probably change again once the results from the lab come in, so looking at a boring few days before going home.

Can't find the slap emoji! Good luck! 

Many years ago, I gave a lift home to a lad of about 18. He'd been out with one of my daughters, on a first date. When they got back, I offered him a lift back to his place.  
He got into the car, and without saying a word, ejected the cassette from the player (it was a long time ago!), and replaced it with one from his jacket pocket. Then pressed play. 
There wasn't a second date. 

Turns out my cyst was rather more serious than I thought, and I'm going for surgery in 2 hours. 
I've totally convinced myself I'm about to die under anesthesia, and I'm pooping meself.
I've sent the family home, and am sitting by the bed in bits.
Someone give me a slap.

Got it..
 

Cheating (as it was yesterday!), but it gives me a chance to practise inserting a pic...
 
Somewhere between No1 & No4.*  
*(Once we parked up at No1, I just followed Muckerette like a puppy!  LOL!)

Many years ago, I gave a lift home to a lad of about 18. He'd been out with one of my daughters, on a first date. When they got back, I offered him a lift back to his place.  
He got into the car, and without saying a word, ejected the cassette from the player (it was a long time ago!), and replaced it with one from his jacket pocket. Then pressed play. 
There wasn't a second date. 

Re Therapy. I came across this sentence today, which I recognise from my own experience, in a Michael Harding book I'm reading. 
'It's a strange thing to be sitting in a therapists chair, desperately struggling not to tell him what you're paying him to hear' 

Re Therapy. I came across this sentence today, which I recognise from my own experience, in a Michael Harding book I'm reading. 
'It's a strange thing to be sitting in a therapists chair, desperately struggling not to tell him what you're paying him to hear' 

Re Therapy. I came across this sentence today, which I recognise from my own experience, in a Michael Harding book I'm reading. 
'It's a strange thing to be sitting in a therapists chair, desperately struggling not to tell him what you're paying him to hear' 

Re Therapy. I came across this sentence today, which I recognise from my own experience, in a Michael Harding book I'm reading. 
'It's a strange thing to be sitting in a therapists chair, desperately struggling not to tell him what you're paying him to hear' 

Maybe I've got the wrong day. 

Maybe I've got the wrong day. 

I've been subscribing to Orthopaedics Monthly for 15 years now.
I've got lots of back issues.

Dog sitting (on me) for the afternoon. 

It's a film, about Ian Curtis, Joy Division. 
I think it was called Control! 
Your drier/airer, played a prominent role. 

Had a lot of them in the garden this year, but out on that walk yesterday, for over two hours, and not a single one. 

Here’s one from the Wild  New Forest fb group.

Beautiful morning walking along the banks of the river Nene, near Northampton. 

The boot looks higher than the hand of Maradona in '86.