A Ram for All Seasons

I watched the game on a German channel with a German commentary and I was wondering why they kept showing photos of Billy Sharp.

Can't stand Elvis

Neither beats Morten Bisgaard's anagram of Rams Gonad Biter.

Earlier this evening

People who park in disabled parking spaces are scumbags. My mate and his wife are both wheelchair users, and I have experienced some of the things they have to put up with every day. A Mercedes driver once parked on the pavement in front of a gate, leaving too little space for my mate's wheelchair to get past. My mate politely asked him to move it because it was blocking his right of way, but her told him he had no time and was in a hurry and went away. My mate then took out his penkife and scratched the words "in a hurry" into the radiator grille of the Mercedes. Never has an act of criminal damage been so justified.

I once stayed in the youth hostel in Basel in Switzerland in 1981 and this was piped through the loudspeakers every morning at 7 a.m. to get us out of our beds.

Now I can tell all my mates here in Germany that we've beaten a team they've heard of. Come on you shy tot Rams!

Nothing to do with Crystal Palace FC

We have the analog model without the weighing function, which must be well over 30 years old. It still works. The missus swears by it and constantly sings its praises, but never seems to use if for some reason.

There was a player at Arsenal, can't remember his name, who had a stress fracture of the patella. He was calmly walking along the street one day when his kneecap suddenly split into two pieces, which is quite traumatic. He got over the injury all right but he spent most of his waking hours worrying about when his kneecap would break again.

Take your point, but three in a row must be a record for us.

When are we not on Sky?

New song for Frank Lampard (sung to the tune of Rudolf the Rednosed Reindeer) Never a boo for Frankie There's never a boo for Frank Cos no matter how bad we're playing The other team is always (rhymes with Frank) Never a boo for Lampard There's never a boo for Lamps Cos after all the years of moaning We are going to be the champs

The Nuremberg Christmas Market is the most famous one. The city is well worth a visit too, with a big castle in the centre of town. It does get quite full, but it wasn't too bad when we went a couple of years ago. It's also not far from Rothenburg ob der Tauber, which is the quintessential medieval walled German town. Very picturesque and extremely touristy, but well worth a visit.