Mucker1884

I made them last week. When I finished I had a spoon of chutney, 50g of spinach and a washer left over!

What's Mr T's favourite yoghurt? 
A petit filous. 

I tret me sen for me bothdee ?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-C49RG90-49-inch-Ultrawide-Monitor/dp/B07NL27TCK/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=samsung+c49&qid=1589303769&sr=8-2
It is absolutely stunning ?

The robbing gits!
You'd at least expect the bottles to be full!   

It sounds big in old money, but in reality, that ain't even 15 metres!  
Hardly worth @maxjam going all Harry Enfield on us, is it!   ?
 

A forty nine foot monitor?!?

750 bog rolls.

Hair Trimmers... Haven't had a home trim since the kids were mid teens, so about 20 years.
1 x crate (6 x 600ml bottles) of Teisseire (That's the brand) Sirop de mente... well, it don't look like we're gonna get back to France any time soon, and I was about to run out from the 4 bottles I brought back in September!)
3 x of those neck tube/snood things... they'll be my new washable/re-usable face masks, when they arrive (ordered yesterday).
Real veg... needs cutting/chopping and stuff, but hey, there's not much else to do!
Real meat/poultry... who knew dead animals didn't come ready cut, prepared and seasoned, in a foil tray with warming instruction!
Loads of yogurt and fruit... but sadly no sausage or bacon... B1tch!
2 x sheets (1400 x 630mm?) 9mm plyboard... Bury those kitchen pipes, mofo!
New replacement cordless drill/driver... Previous charger died on me... left a screw sticking out for a whole 2 days... could have been a nasty accident, but we both survived, thankfully.  We'll probably laugh about it one day.  What a story for the great grandkids though, eh!  "Surrounded by a deadly virus, and then to cap it all, we could have got a nasty nick from that screw that was left sticking out for a whole two days..." type thing!

Got bored with nothing to do on weekends so I bought a 2.700m door and pulled the back of the house down.

Me and my mates are constantly laughing at all the things we’ve bought, and almost bought before seeing sense! 
 
so what have you bought in the last couple of months that you probably wouldn’t have otherwise had things been normal? 
 
- box of noodles (ko lee bang bang chicken green curry, as yet unopened)
- epiphone SG electric guitar
- tefal grill pan
- beard oil (wouldn’t have a beard!)
- stanley scraper (for cleaning the mess my tefal pan creates)
- various spices and spicy sauces (about 30!!)
- at least four bottles of vodka (Reyka & JJ Whitley) 
- two guitar music/song books, capo, new strings
- brita water filter tank and six filters!
- power bank car jump starter
- pencil crayons and maths set (with all the plastic set squares etc)
- microHDMI to HDMI adaptors
- new pair of portable landline phones
- new duvet and pillow case set
- disney+ 
 
there’s probably more that hasn’t sprung to mind!! ?

 

Caption Comp:
Neighbour:  "Eyup, I see @DarkFruitsRam7 has come in his shorts".

Caption Comp:
Neighbour:  "Eyup, I see @DarkFruitsRam7 has come in his shorts".

Caption Comp:
Neighbour:  "Eyup, I see @DarkFruitsRam7 has come in his shorts".

Come on now... a bit of perspective please... You fell off a kiddies scooter!   
Next you'll be telling us about the bright lights... The descending angels... The hovering over the operating table watching your own line go flat for 39 seconds!
 
  

Beautiful ?
...But I should get that knee looked at, if I were you!  I'm no expert, but It doesn't look healthy to me!

When I saw you on Saturday I had forgot about your carting accident. Even when I saw you limping off towards the kitchen it only occurred to me that you had shat yourself. Hope you get better soon, but if the groin/thigh problems persists let me know as my missus has a bike she wants to sell ?

Well. I walked unaided to the local football pitches where Grimsby Town train with the intention of kicking a few balls, no chance. 
Went on the bike after, leg over agony, the actual pedalling not too bad. I’m probably 3/4 days away from being recovered.
It’s more groin now, inner thigh. Probably regret it in the morning but after 2 and half weeks of baby steps trying to push it 

If you move the "S" from the beginning to the end of that word then you'll find that it relates more to the other side of the A52. ?

Ah,ok, how about an unpaid utility bill?.
 

People moaning about when the football will be back.

i have a trick against that kind of annoyance, i wear a mask, a hat reaching down to my eyes and sunglasses.  Works every time, they always figure i am infected.  A fellow was standing in the middle of the aisle talking to his Mrs on the phone about what exact brand he was supposed to buy of some product or another.  i stood silently about ten feet away staring at him.  He must have felt it, for he suddenly looked up and then almost fell back on his arse from fright and literally fled out of the other side of the aisle.

Or in the supermarket... "Can I just grab..." as if distance doesn't count below waist height, or if less than 6 seconds!  Tw@ts!  

Seen them both. Very similar and watchable.