Death - Are you ready?

[eddie]

Just now, eddie said:

It was meant to be a condor but someone made a rooster-up.

Gaaaahhhh!!!! Filter-pwn3d.

[Carl Sagan]

5 hours ago, RamNut said:

I prefer the idea of being shot into space, and burning up on re-entry like a shooting star.

then again there's always the possibility of a big lump of scorched and steaming pelvis surviving re-entry, and taking out a school bus or a house.....maybe not such a good idea.

Even with the obesity epidemic, I don't foresee that happening!

But you've reminded me of the end of the movie Dark Star, the doomed astronauts surfing the upper atmosphere of a planet on spaceship debris, before burning up. If you were terminally ill that would be quite some way to go.

[McRamFan]

1 hour ago, ram1964 said:

This thread has really got me giving serious consideration to all eventualities. Will do a little research into alternative funeral arrangements other than traditional burial / cremation and post my findings in due course. Wonder what the legalities of building a mini pyramid in the back garden are?

You can get buried in your own garden, check with the planning office regarding the pyramid...

[SaintRam]

On the topic of close family / friends dying I don't have the same experiences as most folks in this thread. I'm very emotionally disconnected from people, even those I spend a lot of time with/around, so I don't really feel it when they pass. I miss their presence when doing things I would've previously done with them, but in the same way I miss someone who's just not been able to make it that week.

As for actual real world prep I've done for my death, I've done literally nothing. But I'm pretty young and without debt so it's not too pressing, I assume (perhaps wrongly) that its when you've got people to pay that's the time to put protections in place.

Pretty untroubled regarding my feelings towards my own death. In the words of Epicurus, "If Death is, then I am not." - I'd prefer it not be painful though or preceded by an extended period of being bed-ridden etc.

 

[McRamFan]

Born ready...

 

[Ewe Ram]

Yes it’s perfectly legal to be buried in your own garden as long as it’s clear should you sell that there’s a skeleton. Wouldn’t want police thinking your long lost enemy has been there all the time. 

With so many ‘blended families’ it’s important to make it all clear what happens on your death. 

[Phoenix]

13 hours ago, coneheadjohn said:

We were advised to just get the financial part simply because of our circumstances.

 

So did we, but the circumstances changed, making the health and welfare part infinitely more difficult than if it had been done at the start.

[TimRam]

On 24/10/2018 at 07:22, RamNut said:

I prefer the idea of being shot into space, and burning up on re-entry like a shooting star.

then again there's always the possibility of a big lump of scorched and steaming pelvis surviving re-entry, and taking out a school bus or a house.....maybe not such a good idea.

Not a bad thought providing a certain part of me lands on Kelly Brook.

[ronnieronalde]

On 22/10/2018 at 23:44, ram1964 said:

Sincere thoughts to all those that have lost loved one's and experienced what must be a most distressing experience and my post is in no way intended to offend.

I have started to give thought to my demise, and how to construct a will,  who i would like to bequeath certain poccesions too and possibly bung a few quid to an animal charity probably for dogs or adoption of a donkey.Always fancied having a donkey when I was a kid? no point giving money to the polar bears as the cuddly toy won't be any use to me and between Putin and Trump their time is probably less than mine anyway.

I digress.

So sorting a will, lots to think about .Not easy ,the more you give it thought the more involved it becomes.Power of attorney is worth giving a thought and I suppose putting all accounts into joint names with my wife,including bills might make sense.

what I do struggle with especially is not so much passing away, but what should be done with my remains..I am not religious ,although the the thought of rotting in a picturesque country grave yard some where sounds as good as any other solution,How does one arrange this?can I buy a plot so to speak, do you have to live in the parish? Attend the church or be of the faith? Cremation doesn't appeal and neither the thought of embalming fluid being pumped through me. Presume this replaced the blood? So where does that go?

Other  thought was to be dowsed  and set in concrete and made into a statue, would that be legal? Being serious.

Thoughts, advise appreciated.

Don't give it to donkeys mate. I'm not meaning to be anti animal or anything like that but it genuinely breaks my heart that we raise 60 million quid a year for donkey sanctuaries in the UK yet we've got people dying on the streets cos they cant afford a (donkey) jacket.

Apparently It costs 5 grand for a donkey to be kept warm in bloody England. England..... They've lived in mountains for centuries.

I'm a huge animal lover, huge, would never do anything to harm them and would show as much love as I could, including spending a frigging fortune on making their lives as lovely as possible, pet wise certainly.

Don't leave it to donkeys. The sturdy little feckers survive in much tougher conditions than humans all over the world.

I breaks my heart that we've got 1 in 3 kids living in poverty. One in three kids who would probably cry from happiness to be given something as simple as a pair of decent shoes.

Leave your money to a poor family down the road, one who you know would do anything they could to give their child a better life. 

Put conditions on how they spend it if you like but help a child before helping a donkey.

Every other word in your post I agree with fully.

[ronnieronalde]

On 23/10/2018 at 09:31, coneheadjohn said:

Power of Attorney is the single most important thing,do it now.

I went through it with my mum and once there is any question of Dementia or associated problems it is just a nightmare.

We could basically do nothing for her because we left it so late and although we got a power of attorney the actual letter came in the post the morning she died.

Whichever one of us goes first leaves their half to the boys,I think it was called a property trust.

So they get half the house,whoever’s left lives in it,till they die or if they go into care that half is protected from the assessment for care home fees.

Be under no illusion once you get into the realms of putting someone in care and paying for it etc you would get more sympathy from the Waffen SS than your local authority.

My advice pay 250-500 quid see a good solicitor.

Spend it or give it away but do it early if you try doing it at the end it can be deemed unlawful,is it disposal of assets so you don’t pay for care?

One of the things I hate about governments/laws/policies.

Some poor bugger works their whole life, paying taxes as they go, they buy a house, pay tax on it to get a mortgage that if they stop paying, the banks take their homes, sell heir house, pay tax on it, if they do manage to pay it off, then anyway when they get ill if they cant make payments to a nursing home the government takes it off them.

If after all of that there's anything left to leave behind the government tries their best to take as much as they can.

Inheritance tax, for ducks sakes, haven't you taken enough already?

Pensions, you put tax into a pot your whole life expecting to get a little something back and the duckers don't even guarantee that. They do what they can to give you as little as they can.

The whole thing is one giant scam.

Rent. Don't waste your money owning something you never really own anyway.

Lets say you buy a house for 250k (and I know that's a crazy impossibly high figure for some, bu for others its way low) that's twenty one years of rent at 1k a month and you never have to fork out a lump sum.

Spend everything you can and what you can't spend stick in a shoe box and leave it for your kids under the floorboards in cash.

My goal when I get to a certain age is to withdraw any spare money outside of bills every month so the feckers think I'm penniless.

They can't stop you from spending your own money - yet.

Someone is going to get a really big surprise when they look under my mattress after I've gone.

 

 

[Gee SCREAMER !!]

1 minute ago, ronnieronalde said:

One of the things I hate about governments/laws/policies.

Some poor bugger works their whole life, paying taxes as they go, they buy a house, pay tax on it to get a mortgage that if they stop paying, the banks take their homes, sell heir house, pay tax on it, if they do manage to pay it off, then anyway when they get ill if they cant make payments to a nursing home the government takes it off them.

If after all of that there's anything left to leave behind the government tries their best to take as much as they can.

Inheritance tax, for ducks sakes, haven't you taken enough already?

Pensions, you put tax into a pot your whole life expecting to get a little something back and the duckers don't even guarantee that. They do what they can to give you as little as they can.

The whole thing is one giant scam.

Rent. Don't waste your money owning something you never really own anyway.

Lets say you buy a house for 250k (and I know that's a crazy impossibly high figure for some, bu for others its way low) that's twenty one years of rent at 1k a month and you never have to fork out a lump sum.

Spend everything you can and what you can't spend stick in a shoe box and leave it for your kids under the floorboards in cash.

My goal when I get to a certain age is to withdraw any spare money outside of bills every month so the feckers think I'm penniless.

They can't stop you from spending your own money - yet.

Someone is going to get a really big surprise when they look under my mattress after I've gone.

 

 

It's always stuck in my mind a conversation I heard at Chatsworth between a bloke and his American mate he had obviously taken for a day out.  Only heard the tailend, but the American fella said the taxes you pay over here are appalling , the only thing they don't tax is breathing.  At this point the English bloke says actually they do , we pay tax on car emissions.

[ronnieronalde]

Powerful thread by the way with some of the early posts making me really choke up.

I've lost people close to me and really struggle with it, even after a long time has passed I find myself regularly crying without too much warning. Just knowing I won't see them again and that the gap they've left is simply too big a hole to fill.

It can hit at any time, even when I'm walking down the street. It's horrible. I start off smiling at something we shared, a moment a memory then it hits me like a brick. They've gone and they're not coming back.

I'm not ready to go, not from any angle, I've not done what I need to do and not done what I came here to do, but the other side of that is that I want to go. I know that sounds really weak and probably has people thinking I'm either nuts, in danger or pathetic. I'm not.

I just don't feel this place is for me and never really have. Even if I was able to make the difference I wanted to make, it still wouldn't make me feel any more fulfilled.

So I'm not scared of going, I'm actually more scared of knowing that I have to keep going another forty years or so no matter what. Us humans are great like that, most of us WILL keep going even when we might not really want to.

I don't believe in god but I will never stop hoping and clinging to the dream that somehow/somewhere I am going to bump into those who I never thought I'd have to live without.

[Philmycock]

Having watched both my parents die in the last 2 years, I don't fear death, as medical science can make it a peaceful and pain-free.

Be nice to see us in the Prem before I kick the bucket!

[Coneheadjohn]

5 hours ago, ronnieronalde said:

One of the things I hate about governments/laws/policies.

Some poor bugger works their whole life, paying taxes as they go, they buy a house, pay tax on it to get a mortgage that if they stop paying, the banks take their homes, sell heir house, pay tax on it, if they do manage to pay it off, then anyway when they get ill if they cant make payments to a nursing home the government takes it off them.

If after all of that there's anything left to leave behind the government tries their best to take as much as they can.

Inheritance tax, for ducks sakes, haven't you taken enough already?

Pensions, you put tax into a pot your whole life expecting to get a little something back and the duckers don't even guarantee that. They do what they can to give you as little as they can.

The whole thing is one giant scam.

Rent. Don't waste your money owning something you never really own anyway.

Lets say you buy a house for 250k (and I know that's a crazy impossibly high figure for some, bu for others its way low) that's twenty one years of rent at 1k a month and you never have to fork out a lump sum.

Spend everything you can and what you can't spend stick in a shoe box and leave it for your kids under the floorboards in cash.

My goal when I get to a certain age is to withdraw any spare money outside of bills every month so the feckers think I'm penniless.

They can't stop you from spending your own money - yet.

Someone is going to get a really big surprise when they look under my mattress after I've gone.

 

 

I completely agree.

This is what I’m referring too.

 

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/deprivation-of-assets/

[Coneheadjohn]

4 hours ago, philmycock said:

Having watched both my parents die in the last 2 years, I don't fear death, as medical science can make it a peaceful and pain-free.

Be nice to see us in the Prem before I kick the bucket!

Sorry to hear that and the same for me unfortunately.

You’ve just got to hope and do your best that it’s quick,painless and dignified.

I want to watch us in a European tie with my lads hopefully.

[Day]

Off to a funeral today, mums partner.

Retired around a year ago. Work all your life to end up in a box after a year. Life can be poo.

End of August (this year) he went to the doctors with what he thought was a chest infection. Couple of tests later finds himself getting scanned at the QMC the next day for cancer.

Week later gets the full diagnosis that he’s basically ducked, absolutely riddled and all they could do is try medication that would prolong his life the longest. How long?

Was given the option to sugarcoat the news or not, chose the sugared version and was given 3 to 6 months to live. 

6 weeks later unable to eat, walk, was rushed into hospital, died a few days later. Poor bar steward.

With this and the helicopter accident at the King Power Stadium on Saturday the reminders are very fresh how your life can be taken from you very suddenly. 

Burned or buried, that’s what it all this comes down to. ?

[angieram]

23 minutes ago, David said:

Off to a funeral today, mums partner.

Retired around a year ago. Work all your life to end up in a box after a year. Life can be poo.

End of August (this year) he went to the doctors with what he thought was a chest infection. Couple of tests later finds himself getting scanned at the QMC the next day for cancer.

Week later gets the full diagnosis that he’s basically ducked, absolutely riddled and all they could do is try medication that would prolong his life the longest. How long?

Was given the option to sugarcoat the news or not, chose the sugared version and was given 3 to 6 months to live. 

6 weeks later unable to eat, walk, was rushed into hospital, died a few days later. Poor bar steward.

With this and the helicopter accident at the King Power Stadium on Saturday the reminders are very fresh how your life can be taken from you very suddenly. 

Burned or buried, that’s what it all this comes down to. ?

Sorry to hear that. Be strong for your mum. 

[Archied]

15 hours ago, ronnieronalde said:

One of the things I hate about governments/laws/policies.

Some poor bugger works their whole life, paying taxes as they go, they buy a house, pay tax on it to get a mortgage that if they stop paying, the banks take their homes, sell heir house, pay tax on it, if they do manage to pay it off, then anyway when they get ill if they cant make payments to a nursing home the government takes it off them.

If after all of that there's anything left to leave behind the government tries their best to take as much as they can.

Inheritance tax, for ducks sakes, haven't you taken enough already?

Pensions, you put tax into a pot your whole life expecting to get a little something back and the duckers don't even guarantee that. They do what they can to give you as little as they can.

The whole thing is one giant scam.

Rent. Don't waste your money owning something you never really own anyway.

Lets say you buy a house for 250k (and I know that's a crazy impossibly high figure for some, bu for others its way low) that's twenty one years of rent at 1k a month and you never have to fork out a lump sum.

Spend everything you can and what you can't spend stick in a shoe box and leave it for your kids under the floorboards in cash.

My goal when I get to a certain age is to withdraw any spare money outside of bills every month so the feckers think I'm penniless.

They can't stop you from spending your own money - yet.

Someone is going to get a really big surprise when they look under my mattress after I've gone.

 

 

Where was it you said you lived again Ronnie?

[Smyth_18]

Ironically as the OP of this thread, i could easily not be posting today.

Went out to do a half marathon yesterday and came back smelling a strong smell of gas.

Long story short.. The wife was decorating for a halloween party on Saturday night and knocked a large mirror off the wall, falling behind a cabinet. We only realised later on yesterday after the emergency engineer had shut off the gas due to a large leak (he couldn't find the source), that there is a pipe underneath the mirror where the previous home owners had a gas fire.

We slept all night Saturday without realising and upon waking up we was almost straight out the house.

 

Doesn't bare thinking about how close this was to a complete disaster, but my main concern in 'what could have been' isn't for myself but my little boy.

[Rev]

Close call @Smyth_18, we all hang by a thread and the slightest thing could snap it.

Glad you had a lucky escape, make the most of it!