Jump to content

Mens toilet behaviour.


Boycie

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 46
  • Created
  • Last Reply
1 hour ago, David said:

Think the bigger question here is when designing men's toilets, why do they not install screens between each urinal, not TV screens but a frosted glass screen, only needs to be a couple of feet to give the less endowed men more privacy. Don't have an issue myself mind you.

And a set of tweezers?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, TimRam said:

Why do blokes at work do a number 2 during the day? Do it at home! The times I've gone in the loo after someone has done their business and it stinks the place out...then someone walks in bah!

When you gotta go, you've gotta go. You can't hold what's not in your hand. :cry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, TimRam said:

Why do blokes at work do a number 2 during the day? Do it at home! The times I've gone in the loo after someone has done their business and it stinks the place out...then someone walks in bah!

I usually have a quick tug first as well as a bobby, so stick that in your work pipe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, reveldevil said:

Why wouldn't you want paying for a dump?

There's been times I need one Friday night, and have held it till the next morning, just to get double time for it.

Double time for sat morning?

You are full of **** aren't you? Used to be time n half till 12.30 then double in the afternoon and double all day Sunday when I was cards in.

Thatchers Britain 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Boycie said:

Double time for sat morning?

You are full of **** aren't you? Used to be time n half till 12.30 then double in the afternoon and double all day Sunday when I was cards in.

Thatchers Britain 

Time and half first 6hrs of a week, double beyond that.

Mays Britain.

Also haven't had any OT in the last 3 years, also Mays Britain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, TimRam said:

Why do blokes at work do a number 2 during the day? Do it at home! The times I've gone in the loo after someone has done their business and it stinks the place out...then someone walks in bah!

WTF!??!?!  I hardly ever pinch one off at home.  Much rather kill 10 minutes at work, and get paid for it...

I'm particular though, I don't like unhooking a stogie when the cubicle next to me is occupied.  Especially if there the type with a gap at the bottom.  Can't stand having to listen to some numbnuts who thinks it's acceptable to make as much noise as they can.  Especially grunting with it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The worse experience I have is when you go in to the Toilet and someone is washing their Hands. You then have a choice of Cubicle (At my work place there is two) and you choose the wrong one it Stinks of **** and you're heaving for air.

You just know the guys who's washing his Hands is loving the moment you're walking in on the Nightmare he's left.

I usually stand there and wait for them to leave then run to the next Cubicle!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So all the cubicles are full but one, you sit down and your arse is now wet with another mans piss, you then progress to squeeze so hard you almost give yourself an hernia whilst holding the disability bar to the sides and both legs planted on the door for extra leverage. You then tarmac the pan and after you have encountered such a horrific ordeal you then proceed to wipe your ass and the lazy arsed attendant forgot to the replace the paper in the dispenser, look on the door and it was checked twenty minutes previous, my arse :angry:

Never happened to me mind :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

32 minutes ago, Ashz09 said:

The worse experience I have is when you go in to the Toilet and someone is washing their Hands. You then have a choice of Cubicle (At my work place there is two) and you choose the wrong one it Stinks of **** and you're heaving for air.

You just know the guys who's washing his Hands is loving the moment you're walking in on the Nightmare he's left.

I usually stand there and wait for them to leave then run to the next Cubicle!

Walk up to the sink and start straightening your eyebrows whilst pouting, then take a shoe off and turn to the guy and say these heels are killing my feet today darling.

He will leave whilst drying his hands on his arse just to get out quicker

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, David said:

Walk up to the sink and start straightening your eyebrows whilst pouting, then take a shoe off and turn to the guy and say these heels are killing my feet today darling.

He will leave whilst drying his hands on his arse just to get out quicker

If he doesn't, the smell is the least of your problems.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, reveldevil said:

Time and half first 6hrs of a week, double beyond that.

Mays Britain.

Also haven't had any OT in the last 3 years, also Mays Britain.

I never had a pay rise in the last 6 years - and in order to get a job - any job - after being made redundant at Christmas, I had to take a salary less than I earned in 1985.

That's May's Britain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 29/05/2017 at 12:08, philmycock said:

If urinals 1, 3 and the cubicle are all taken, and you have no choice but to use urinal 2, then just relax, try not to force it, do the 13-times-table in your head and the flow will start naturally, thus saving face so you can re-enter the bar without your co-urinalites pointing and sniggering at you for being a dry fop.

I took your advice and it worked a treat - just one problem.
Now whenever I recite the 13 times table, I p1ss my pants.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, eddie said:

I never had a pay rise in the last 6 years - and in order to get a job - any job - after being made redundant at Christmas, I had to take a salary less than I earned in 1985.

That's May's Britain.

Its like banging your head against a brick wall, people voted to leave the union for the same reason and it doesn't matter which political party you choose its the same endgame, you come on here bitching and then when we do something about your situation you moan even more, Tony Blair systematically destroyed this nation through tax loopholes and illegal wars.

May is far from perfect but if you think Corbyn is any better you are sadly mistaken, loading up the benefits system will increase unemployment, businesses will leave and Corbyn will have to find billions for the growing utopian welfare state.

#sameoldshit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, eddie said:

I never had a pay rise in the last 6 years - and in order to get a job - any job - after being made redundant at Christmas, I had to take a salary less than I earned in 1985.

That's May's Britain.

You could always turn to ransomware if things get desperate!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...