Mens toilet behaviour.

[Boycie]

 Ok. You go for a slash in the pub. There's 3 urinals and a cubicle.

one person is having a slash already in urinal 1.

which urinal do you use? 2 or 3 or the cubicle?

ok, lets now say there's someone at urinal 1 & 3, now where do you go?

what I'm kinda getting at is why do some guys have a phobia about lining up against another man at the urinals? Choosing to go for a waz in a cubicle and probably wee'ing all over the seat or floor?

we all stand together in the concourse at PP, sometimes too close at times

Tell me your views?

[Cisse]

1 minute ago, Boycie said:

 Ok. You go for a slash in the pub. There's 3 urinals and a cubicle.

one person is having a slash already in urinal 1.

which urinal do you use? 2 or 3 or the cubicle?

ok, lets now say there's someone at urinal 1 & 3, now where do you go?

what I'm kinda getting at is why do some guys have a phobia about lining up against another man at the urinals? Choosing to go for a waz in a cubicle and probably wee'ing all over the seat or floor?

we all stand together in the concourse at PP, sometimes too close at times

Tell me your views?

Do you Brits spend a lot of time thinking about these things?

[Boycie]

4 minutes ago, Cisse said:

Do you Brits spend a lot of time thinking about these things?

Only when having a slash, and a guy goes in the cubicle, I'm thinking he's having a dump, but no, sounds like Shergar ( Google that )

i can tell you that I'm not interested in having a crafty look at another mans old man if you know what I mean.

(Google that too)

youve not answered the question though,

mind you, if you walked in with your snake skin cowboy boots on, i think I'd sneek in the cubicle too.

[LesterRam]

Never used an urinal, only commoners piss up walls.

Haven't had **** in a week 

[Boycie]

2 minutes ago, LesterRam said:

Never used an urinal, only commoners piss up walls.

Haven't had **** in a week 

Well, I guess you'll fit in well on here, as there's a few others full of **** too ?

[Parsnip]

I use a cubicle at every opportunity. The indignity of standing there dry whilst my neighbouring urinals turnover pisser after pisser is just too much to bear. Sometimes I blow my nose loudly in the cubicle - just to let all the urinal users know that i had a valid reason for choosing the toilet with the paper.

Imagine my dread of PP toilets at half time when i need to relieve myself of my pre match pint...

[Cisse]

15 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Only when having a slash, and a guy goes in the cubicle, I'm thinking he's having a dump, but no, sounds like Shergar ( Google that )

i can tell you that I'm not interested in having a crafty look at another mans old man if you know what I mean.

(Google that too)

youve not answered the question though,

mind you, if you walked in with your snake skin cowboy boots on, i think I'd sneek in the cubicle too.

Does Google pay you well?

Yes, I'll have to google Shergar.

I don't have snake skin cowboy boots yet, only a snake skin vest. If I can come up with the money I will consider those boots.

I usually go for urinals not the cubicle.

[Gritstone Ram]

At a push it's urinal 2 but never in the cubicle. 

If urinal 1 is closest to the door then it's urinal 3 first then 1 if 3 is occupied. Never urinal 2 (middle) if 1 &/or 3 are vacant. It's the rules of the bogs.

[GboroRam]

Nothing wrong with standing shoulder to shoulder. Makes it easier for me to help you shake the drips off.

[Day]

Reading between the lines here, Boycie was at the pub tonight and needed a tiddle, he was stood doing his thing in urinal 1 when a much bigger man entered the toilets and proceeded to use urinal 2. A quick glance across made Boycie look down at his and wonder why it was so much smaller.

After another pint Boycie's ageing bladder could hold no more, he went to the toilet and both urinals 1 and 3 in use, so not to feel embarrassed trying to find his to pull out in between 2 strapping men, he went and used the cubicle.

This clearly effected him and now sat at home questioning his manhood size on the internet.

[Boycie]

10 hours ago, David said:

Reading between the lines here, Boycie was at the pub tonight and needed a tiddle, he was stood doing his thing in urinal 1 when a much bigger man entered the toilets and proceeded to use urinal 2. A quick glance across made Boycie look down at his and wonder why it was so much smaller.

After another pint Boycie's ageing bladder could hold no more, he went to the toilet and both urinals 1 and 3 in use, so not to feel embarrassed trying to find his to pull out in between 2 strapping men, he went and used the cubicle.

This clearly effected him and now sat at home questioning his manhood size on the internet.

This is basically true, well some of it.

I was indeed in the pub last night, stood at urinal 1.  Some one else was at urinal 3. Another guy came in and went into the cubicle and refused to stand at urinal 2. I thought, as I normally do, he must want a dump, he didn't.

Ive noticed this a lot, and I thought I'd "reach out" to the guys on here about it.

but, 

it reminds me once of jostling for a gap at the urinals at PP one match day. I got a gap, but unfortunately it was at the point where two of the long stainless steel troughs joined together.

I had to aim either to the left or right of the metal work directly in front of me.

I disgraced myself, and hit the metalwork square on, their was cries of "you dirty *******" from the guys either side of me.

chuckle.

[WhiteHorseRam]

10 hours ago, GboroRam said:

Nothing wrong with standing shoulder to shoulder. Makes it easier for me to help you shake the drips off.

Reminds me of 'Summer of 75' by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer (Pogues stylee) - 

I remember the summer of ’75,
I was your husband,
And I was your wife,
We slept in a tent made of parsley and sage,
And we looked at each other and smiled.

A-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo. 

I played the drums, 
Whilst I played the flute,
Crash, bang wallop,
And root-a-toot-toot, 
We ate thousands of parsnips. 

Never asking why, 
in the summer of ’75. 

Reflections of you in the waterfall, 
cascading through my mind, 
Oh, reflections of you, 
still waters run so deep, 
in the summer of ’75, 
A-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo. 

My eyes were blue, 
While my eyes were black,
I smoked a church warden, 
While I smoked some crack.
You murdered my wife, 
And then buried her alive,
in the summer of ’75, 
A-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo. 

I held his hand while he had a wee,
Sloosh went the urine up against a tree,
I shook his penis, and where the droplets lay, 
grew a beautiful woodland glade.

Reflections of you in the waterfall, 
cascading through my mind, 
Oh, reflections of you, 
still waters run so deep, 
in the summer of ’75, 
A-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo.

We slept in an orchard, 
On a tapestry rug,
And we drank the fine mead from an old Saxon jug,
We gazed in wonder,
As Frampton came alive, 
in the summer of ’75. 

Reflections of you in the waterfall,
cascading through my mind, 
Oh, reflections of you, 
still waters run so deep, 
in the summer of ’75, 
A-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo.

 

[Coneheadjohn]

14 hours ago, Boycie said:

 Ok. You go for a slash in the pub. There's 3 urinals and a cubicle.

one person is having a slash already in urinal 1.

which urinal do you use? 2 or 3 or the cubicle?

ok, lets now say there's someone at urinal 1 & 3, now where do you go?

what I'm kinda getting at is why do some guys have a phobia about lining up against another man at the urinals? Choosing to go for a waz in a cubicle and probably wee'ing all over the seat or floor?

we all stand together in the concourse at PP, sometimes too close at times

Tell me your views?

I was at the Sheffield Institute of Sport toilets at urinal 1,2 &3 were empty and a man came to urinal 2 leaving urinal 3 empty which worried me,I went to cast him a dirty look only to realise that it was none other than Anthony Joshua!

So,I let him off!

Take a look at @coneheadjohn's Tweet: https://twitter.com/coneheadjohn/status/743414608367656960?s=09

[sage]

4 minutes ago, coneheadjohn said:

I was at the Sheffield Institute of Sport toilets at urinal 1,2 &3 were empty and a man came to urinal 2 leaving urinal 3 empty which worried me,I went to cast him a dirty look only to realise that it was none other than Anthony Joshua!

So,I pulled him off!

Take a look at @coneheadjohn's Tweet: https://twitter.com/coneheadjohn/status/743414608367656960?s=09

FPDSH

[Day]

How did he wash his hands after taking a leak?

[Coneheadjohn]

1 hour ago, David said:

How did he wash his hands after taking a leak?

I wasn't looking .

[Philmycock]

If urinals 1, 3 and the cubicle are all taken, and you have no choice but to use urinal 2, then just relax, try not to force it, do the 13-times-table in your head and the flow will start naturally, thus saving face so you can re-enter the bar without your co-urinalites pointing and sniggering at you for being a dry fop.

[Day]

2 minutes ago, philmycock said:

If urinals 1, 3 and the cubicle are all taken, and you have no choice but to use urinal 2, then just relax, try not to force it, do the 13-times-table in your head and the flow will start naturally, thus saving face so you can re-enter the bar without your co-urinalites pointing and sniggering at you for being a dry fop.

Or walk up to the urinal, drop your trousers down to your ankles, turn round and go to squat. Urinals 1 and 3 are vacated instantly. 

[Stive Pesley]

Those who walk in to see all 3 urinals free and opt for urinal #2

FML - there is a special hell for the middle widdler

[Day]

Think the bigger question here is when designing men's toilets, why do they not install screens between each urinal, not TV screens but a frosted glass screen, only needs to be a couple of feet to give the less endowed men more privacy. Don't have an issue myself mind you.