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Snog, Marry, Avoid. (Rate the players season)

Alph

By Alph
in Derby County Forum

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Alph

Alph

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It's the halfway stage and I thought we could rate a few of our players performances this season in a snog, marry, avoid style. Join in and don't leave me looking a tit. ManCrush rating is optional. 

Snog (players that are doing well but not great. Or that you think phwooarr!)

Darren Bent - Like many his season started late but he's been much needed. He's given us a proper physical target up front. Something that actually makes stuff stick. He's had to adapt to do it. But I don't think this run would have gone so well with someone else up front. 7/10 on the man crush scale

(Also ran > Carson for reliability 8/10, Baird for best breakthrough act and the duet with Tom Ince 6/10)

Marry (You'd vote PotY for them if the season ended today. Or you like the idea of walking along a beach holding hands with them) 

Bradley Johnson - The biggest improvement, adapted massively to fit his role. He's stopped us checking if it's Thorne o'clock every 2 minutes. If you want to see Alex Pearce or Richard Keogh then you have to buy a ticket from this guy. And he's not approachable. At the start of the season it looked like more terrible passes and blind hoofing was on offer from our Bradley. 10/10 

(worthy mentions > Tom Ince was stuck in a central role for a bit under Pearson. Here he was given the task of doing everything. Then he was put on the wing and given the task of doing everything. Now, he does a bit of everything 6/10 Alex Pearce missed a header in 2007. Last season Mel Morris asked him to start paying for match tickets. Now he's scored more goals for Derby than somebody else and passes even faster than Shackell 9/10

Avoid - (Struggling a bit. Like Bradley Johnson and Baird did. It's not you, it's me. I just don't think I can commit and you deserve better) 

Matej Vydra - Signed for a manager that wanted to play to his strengths. But didn't have a team that played to his strengths. The ball just won't go in for him and he's looking lost. A few nice but harmless touches are pretty much all he's shown since his record transfer. Feel frustrated for him but I can see it getting worse for him before it gets better. 5/10

(more let's just be friends) Weimann similar to Vydra seems to hint at being good but that's it. Never seems to get going and you have to wonder when he will have a good spell. Has Camara jumped ahead? 5/10

Oh, you can only have 1 mancrush unless you're gay. That's not my rules that's THE rules. 

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Cam the Ram

Cam the Ram

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Snog

Carson - After quite a few years of having keepers who always made you nervous, it's nice to have someone as consistent as Carson. Very happy to see that he'll be here for another few years as well and hopefully Mitchell can learn a lot from him.

(Worthy mentions - Baird for turning his Derby career around and Russell for coping with his defensive duties well despite the left back behind him changing every week.)

Marry

Will Hughes - Please never leave me. 

(Worthy mentions - Pearce and Keogh for being bloody brilliant and breaking records, Ince for carrying us at times and Johnson for making the Thorne role now the Johnson role.)

Avoid

Christie - Before his injury he playing really well, but it's quite incredible how much his absence has improved our right hand side both offensively and defensively.

(Worthy mentions - left backs for being made of glass, backup wingers for never taking their *admittedly small* chances when they get a game and Thorne for getting my hopes up many times on return dates only to suffer more set backs *admittedly it's not exactly his fault*.)

Kill

Nigel Pearson - I miss Chris Martin.

Oh sorry, was kill not part of the game? Oops...

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drgoodspeak

drgoodspeak

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Nervously homoerotic, but very amusing. A real contender for prose of the year with these lines:

"If you want to see Alex Pearce or Richard Keogh then you have to buy a ticket from this guy. And he's not approachable."

Mancrush - Bradley Johnson; the ultimate, all action dreamboat.

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RadioactiveWaste

RadioactiveWaste

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Snog: Ince for pulling his finger out, Baird for proving there's life in the ol dog yet, Johnson because he's showing why he's had so many happy lovers.

Marry: Will Hughes for being an angle, Alex Pearce for the steady partner, Scot Carson (the beard)

Avoid: GT (The heartbreak), Blackman the poor ride, Vydra to much misused energy.

Push off cliff: Nigel Pearson.

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IlsonDerby

IlsonDerby

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1 hour ago, RadioactiveWaste said:

Snog: Ince for pulling his finger out, Baird for proving there's life in the ol dog yet, Johnson because he's showing why he's had so many happy lovers.

Marry: Will Hughes for being an angle, Alex Pearce for the steady partner, Scot Carson (the beard)

Avoid: GT (The heartbreak), Blackman the poor ride, Vydra to much misused energy.

Push off cliff: Nigel Pearson.

acute or obtuse??

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Chester40

Chester40

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Snog - Alex Pearce. The seemingly unattractive girl I had not noticed.. who has suddenly bloomed. Early days but could be a stunner.

Marry - Tom Ince. All that talent just oozing out but do they love thenselves too much? Everyone thinking they could  be the one to get it out of her...high maintenance but finally cracked it, so need to get ring on her finger before she goes off the boil again and looks elsewhere.

Avoid. Weimann. Sooooo frustrating. Could be a real head turner but just isn't as attractive as thinks she is...expensive taste and no class.

 

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r_wilcockson

r_wilcockson

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Snog - Ince. For that magical moment when you walk past your ex (red dogs) who is looking a dishevelled mess, whilst your new Mrs looks the dogs b*****ks and is strutting her stuff! 

Marry - Carson. She may not be a stunner, but after years of searching you've finally found someone who you can rely on and who'll never let you down. 

Avoid - Vydra. Thought you would cheat on your previous lover (Martin) with a raunchy foreigner whose legs went on forever, only to find that despite appearances she's actually quite boring. You find yourself clambering back to your ex, hoping all will be forgiven and you can get back to some bump and grind / falling over. 

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Alph

Alph

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4 minutes ago, McLovin said:

Wow Alpha your Mrs won't be very happy :lol:. I expected this kind of thread from Mr loverman himself @Bilbobut not a happily married citizen like yourself 

 

You're not married are you buddy?

I can tell because you said "happily married"

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Alph

Alph

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44 minutes ago, richinspain said:

But it is possible to be both happy and married, no one said you had to be happy with your wife :ph34r:

 

 

 

ps I'm married and sometimes happy with my wife  :whistle:

I know you're happy, richinspain.

How is sallyinengland coping with the distance

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