EtoileSportiveDeDerby

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

Had a lovely day today. Went up to the Peak District with my brother and the dogs.  Parked at Hathersage and walked up onto Stanage Edge, beautiful views and beautiful weather.  Came back via Thornbridge brewery and picked up some lovely beers for the weekend!
 

Wife and I just managed to connect the football feed to the upstairs telly. 
Won't sound much to you young'uns but to us troglodytes it was like discovering fire! 

Thank you so much.
My family call me every name under the sun for combining Tuna with vinegar, they don't know what they're missing!
 

Liverpool as a club are disrespected so much. I'm glad for them. 

Frank hasn't let me down tonight. I know it won't be a popular opinion on here but I am really pleased for Liverpool and Jurgen Klopp. Worthy champions.

Just a reminder to everyone heading out celebrate in Liverpool tonight, social distancing at least 2m from any scouser is recommended. Not a Covid-19 thing, just, a general rule.

Tell you what, Fernandinho could do a job in goal for us saving like that

Not like Atwell to miss an obvious decision 

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Can we all agree behind closed doors football sucks?
And tech.
And Covid19.
And 2020 in general?

Something about his watch vibrating?  Or not, in this case!  
 
The ball was so far past the line, it was social distancing!  ?

Hi everyone... I'm not to sure how to write this so I'll just go along with it and sorry for any waffling! 
My absolutely amazing daughter was born last week on the 10th June in lincoln. Within minutes of her being born they realised something wasnt quite right and within 19 hours of being born she had been transferred to queens medical centre (which I've called home for the last week) and had life saving surgery. 
She has a condition called Tracheo-Oesophageal Fistula... her food pipe and windpipe were joined and without the amazing work of our great NHS she wouldn't be here. 
Shes got a long way to go but I'm forever proud of how much shes been through in just a week and I'll forever be grateful to everyone that's helped her and our NHS in general.
As you can see by the photo shes already in training as the rams newest supporter! 

Means the same. Maths or law, tough gig for both of you. 

@Millenniumram? Genius?
I can only hope that 'genius' means something else in French!

You called ?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-52843846

Cracked last egg left in the box today and it was a double yolk again. So altogether that's 8 in row ( last 2 in a box + all 6 in another ) so the odds are 1 in 1 followed by 24 zeros I think (going by reply from @Millenniumram)
Wife has since gone back to Sainsbury's for a shop and bought another box of 6.

Why don’t the throw a rope of the roof dorma and stand it end up against the back of the house?

Not random but he sure as hell annoys me... DONALD TRUMP.
Such a self centered idiot. Firstly dismisses coronavirus as nothing and claims it's not a big deal (100,000 dead people in his country would argue otherwise) 
 Then theres his willingness to take on a social media platform that doesn't like something he says and now ive just read hes declaring antifa a terrorist organisation... 
Maybe if your country wasnt ran by a complete idiot as yourself there wouldn't be a need for groups like antifa in the first place! 
On a positive note it was good to see Sancho and another guy who's name i cant remember make a stand in Germany.
Not to mention him withdrawing the usa out of the world health organisation, surely now more than ever we need to work together.
So in summary, I hate Donald Trump and he's an idiot ?

You'll love this then.
This caravan arrived on a low-loader last weekend up the narrow, dead-end road where my neice lives and was deposited in the back "garden" of a neighbour. 
Still there over a week later. 

Strange you’d mention it, we’ve had a couple of double yolk eggs as well! Must be something up with the chickens through all this, maybe there’s a farmer on here who knows the reason behind it ?
FWIW, if the Probability of a double yolk is 1/1000, then the probability of 7 in a row would be (1/1000)^7, assuming the probability is independent each time. So yeah, just the big number times 1000 again. A likelihood about as small as our promotion chances this year?

Quick google to check chances of getting a double yolk 1 in a 1000. 6 in a row it said a quintillion, more google, that is 
1 in 1000000000000000000 (18 zeros) but we have had 7 in a row so bigger than that then. Need a math genius ( @Millenniumram ?) to work out 7 in row or is it just that big number times 1000 ?
 There is also one last egg left in the box, i ll try it tomorrow.

Quick google to check chances of getting a double yolk 1 in a 1000. 6 in a row it said a quintillion, more google, that is 
1 in 1000000000000000000 (18 zeros) but we have had 7 in a row so bigger than that then. Need a math genius ( @Millenniumram ?) to work out 7 in row or is it just that big number times 1000 ?
 There is also one last egg left in the box, i ll try it tomorrow.

You seem to be over egging it now. It's getting beyond a yolk. ?