Ken Tram

So good I had to post it here as well 

I was in the park this morning playing Frisbee with my dog.........it wasn't very good, I think I need to get a flatter dog!

"When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a bold proposal, "Whoever dares to jump, swim to the shore, and survive, I'll give you $1,000,000. No one dared to move. Suddenly, a man jumped into the water, and desperately swam, and made it to the shore, while being chased by all the crocodiles.
The owner announced, "We have a brave winner!!" After the man collected his reward, he and his wife returned to the hotel. Upon arrival, the manager told him that he had been very brave to jump. To which the man replied, "I didn't jump, someone pushed me!" His wife smiled.....
Moral - Behind every successful man, there's a woman who pushes him!

As we used to say on payday, spend it quick before it's all gone

If it's true what they say about "Leeds taking more", I say we ignore any reference to a reciprocal deal... As any such deal clearly suits their fans more than others.
... Allow them to charge our visiting 2k fans* £50* each.  We charge their 4k* visiting fans £60*.
DCFC reimburse a tenner to each of our 2k, leaving 2k @ £10 for DCFC coffers.
Win, win, throw yer twirly scarves in the bin!  
 
 
 
*All numbers, figures, and amounts are 100% made up, and are shown purely for aesthetic purposes, but you catch ma drift, innit.  

Last seasons thread seemed fairly popular with over one hundred thousand views so I thought I’d try and find out a bit of what we can expect for next season.
As we know, because they told us so, nobody has more away fans than Leeds so I have looked at their away ticket allocations and prices they were charged for the season now ending.
Interestingly they had a reciprocal agreement with a few clubs to set the price for both sets of fans so I have noted this accordingly.
Obviously we don’t know exactly who we are playing yet but I will try and amend this when we have the final tables.
 I have noted the full allocation and adult and over 65 price.
Leeds I have based on what Southampton fans are paying.
Ipswich. 2,000.  £34/ £27
Leeds. 2.018. £47. Cheaper with clubs with reciprocal deals.
Southampton. 2,825. £30/ £25.
Norwich. 2,022. 36/26 reciprocal.
WBA. 2,009. £28/ £23.
Hull. 2,083. £24/ £16.
Middlesbo. 2,571. £29/ £ 21.
Coventry. 2,529. £37/ £32.
Preston. 5,644. £28/ £20 reciprocal.
Bristol City. 3,000. £30/ £26.
Cardiff. 3,213. £21/ £16 reciprocal.
Swansea. 1,971. £34/ £21.
Watford. 2,104. £20/ £10.
Sunderland. 2,000. £29/ £26. reciprocal.
Millwall. 2,008. £32/ £22.
QPR. 1,816. £31/ £22.
Stoke. 2,604. £25/ £19. reciprocal.
Blackburn. 7,337. £30/ £24.
Sheff Wed. 3,869. £36/ £26.
Plymouth. 1,734. £26/ £21.
Birmingham. 2,227. £30/ £25 reciprocal.
 

I'm sure I read that the 4th official informed the ref via his headset that the Bolton game had finished as a draw, therefore the result of our game was no longer of any relevance to the final standings, therefore the injury time in our game was rendered pointless.
Under the laws of the game, the referee has the discretion to end a game before the injury time is up if there are external circumstances that dictate it. In this case the match was a dead rubber, and neither team had any reason to object to ending the game early 
The crowd were not on the pitch, they were behind the advertising hoardings, which is where a lot of people stand for entire games now in the South Stand. No one entered the field of play while the game was in progress
Nothing to see here

Following on from two favourite Bob Monkhouse jokes, here’s my two favourite Les Dawson jokes:-
I met my wife in Spain. I said “what the hell are you doing here? Who’s looking after the kids?”
and
I feel really sad. My wife ran off with the man next door, and ooh I do miss him”.

"Punching above our weight"???!!!
We are Derby County. 
There are no such limits to what we can achieve 🐏 Believe. COYR.

Here are some from my vintage collection. 

The vast majority posting in this thread know sod all about football.....

Hey everyone,

I wanted to let you know that, fresh from the success of our first batch of DCFC beer mats, we've now released a unique set of DCFC Promotion Beer Mats, available in the SBW Etsy store.

LINK HERE:
https://stevebloomerswashing.etsy.com



The collection comes as a set of 12, doubled-sided, full colour, absorbent, 9.4cm pulp board circular beer mats, and includes:
- Mendez-Laing: Guatemalan Gold 
- Collo: Premium beer, ice cold finish
- Cashin: Irish stout
- Curtis Nelson: Unbeatable quality
- Ebou Adams: Est 2024
- Hourihane's stout: Extra quality
- Kane Wilson: Buffalo beer
- Paul Warne: Championship beer
- The Rams Promotion Juice
- Wildsmith's Golden Glove
- Forsyth's Lager: Try Fozzy's Best Brew
- Sibley: Versatile Blond

Cheers!
Chris

Happy Birthday @Eddie

Rwanda it is.

4'55 is the video length. 🙄
After much searching (👀), I found it at 3' 02".   😄👍🐏

We are derby, Super Derby... sang at the original Rod Stewart 45rpm pace, not the full bore 78rpm version we have today!  👀
Who's up Mary Brown.  👀👀
When the red, red robin goes bob, bob, bobbin' along... shoot the b45t4rd!
On top of the Trent End, where nobody goes...
 
Derby boys, we are here, whoa-o, whoa-o 
Derby boys, we are here, whoa-o, whoa-o 
Derby boys, we are here,
Sh*g your women and drink your beer
whoa-o, whoa-o-o, whoa-o
 
We're all, on the piss again,
We're all, on the piss again,
We're all, on the piss again, one banana, one banana, one banana, one banana...

Here it is ! The loft is at bursting point and the ceiling is ready to cave in at any point, if I put the entire side of the house up there something is going to give and Mrs Loweman2 is going to insist I leave and take all of the “rubbish” with me, so it’s just kept outside.

Hi @loweman2 and @Quangy,
Do you have any photos, or know any history related to the large Derby Ram mentioned above?

More, more! What's on page 3?