ketteringram

That may be your experience, but it's possibly not the same for everyone, my wife has recently accessed grief counseling through the NHS, the service received was speedy, effective and free to access!
Your local health authority may have let you down personally, but I couldn't speak highly enough of the difference that the NHS has made in our life's, and wouldn't want to discourage anyone from taking the step if they need so.

At least you have a girlfriend, your the same age as me and Ive never had a bloody date!
Seriously though, I cant relate at all, but as a trainee pharmacist I see a lot of people with issues of that sort. It is better for you to hit the nail early on, start talking (dont listen to your ego), and get it of your chest. Dont sit and wait and lie to yourself, saying "oh its only temporary , it isnt a big issue, I need to man up ect ect".
Well done.
A persons ego can hold you back from being honest to yourself and seeking help at times
I would say though I would not start Anti depressants soon or whatever medication the doctors want to give you. I think talking, being pro-active, finding activities which gives your life meaning and something to LOOK FORWARD TO (Biggest KILLER OF FEELING LOW) is key. I as a future pharmacist (only my opinion) think depression is being tackled wrongly and incorectly by our health care proffesionals- too much drugs and too little talking.
 
Best of luck mate

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I always believe to compare your problems to others does you a disservice straight off. Each person has their own coping levels, their own fragility and their method of getting by. What seems trivial to one can mean the world to another. Respect always to the feelings you have but know how to handle them.
I think this thread is a blessing. It is honest and supportive and a friendly ear from people who won't judge. I guess I am currently an example of someone who reluctantly got help but is now realising his dreams, a happiness that 4 years back seemed impossible to even contemplate. Sometimes I stop and think how the hell did I get here and when I do, I thank every soul that ever gave me the time to hear my problems. Now I have a fecking wedding to plan!

Hopefully I'm not too much of a burden to the people following this thread, but as a fairly regular reader, barely ever poster I thought I would finally contribute
Coming out of 2016, I can safely say it was the worst year of my life so far. Yes, time is arbitary, and the 365 days of 2017 aren't guaranteed to be any better, but it does provide a spell of time to quantify my feelings. 
I've suffered family loss, the break up of a relationship with the person I loved more than anyone else, the months of getting over her only for her to get in touch and subsequently mess me around whilst seeing someone else that she's now in a relationship with. 
All of this combined with being stuck in a job I hate and am probably overqualified for lead me to the pint of self destruct. 
During all this time I had to persuade myself (and take the advice of the people that care about me) to go to the doctors and speak to someone, and admit that the depressive feelings I had had been there for 6/7 years. What I thought was just part of my personality, who I was, was actually an underlying issue that needed addressing for years. 
The prescribed medication seemed to help me quite a lot. Whether that was purely a placebo effect or not is anyone's guess, but I wholeheartedly advise anyone feeling low to find someone to console in.
I guess, other than being able to get some stuff off my chest, that is the overriding point of this post. Don't ever allow yourself to feel like you're alone. There are so many resources available to help you and so many people that will understand
 
 
 

Daveo has left, according to HMRC he owed £300k, the new guy is David 

Anxiety is what does for me and looking back,it has done since I was a little boy.
I used to worry about the most irrational unlikely things for weeks on end.
I'm in a high pressure job now where I'm expected to be the decisive one who makes decisions, takes responsibility and be strong but there are days where I just want to crawl into a dark space and hide away from it all and feel totally drained of any go or enthusiasm.
Worse thing is anxiety turning every situations I've dealt with into enormous problems i.e what if this or that happens etc,etc until I've actually convinced myself something bad could happen....despite there being no reason to think it.my mind seems to then go through every conceivable scenario endlessly until I'm my brain feels totally worn out.
Once I'm in the grip of a worry,it can last weeks or months until it's replaced by another one with no basis.
I can then go for a week or two thinking it's gone away until the irrational worry starts again.
Funnily enough,colleagues and friends seem to think I'm one of the most cheerful upbeat people they know and i suppose I am outwardly.
This is the first time I've ever spoke to anyone,as such,about this and I'm finding it extremely difficult to not just delete it immediately and keep it to myself but seeing other people's responses on here has helped.
 

I like it when they ask a newly appointed manager, at his first press conference, 
'Do you think you are the right man for the job? '

We had 91 pages about Bradley Johnson, and I don't think he can tell the time. 

Glad to hear things are on the up!
I participated in this thread early doors, telling my experiences of a family member who was going through, and on occasion putting us through, hell. We had an awful Christmas last year. 
What a difference a year makes! The family member has a girlfriend he lives with, quit the job he hated and was headhunted by a recruitment agency who had seen his CV online for a job he started 3 weeks ago which he absolutely loves. His confidence has sky-rocketted recently and his social anxiety and depression diminished.

always for me it something natural .. A beautiful view or an animal, a sunset or sunrise. There are other things of course. 
Remembering the things that inspired a sense of wonder long ago. That sense is still there in all of us but we don't tap into it because life becomes so routine and survival based rather than experience based as it was when you were younger .. Bit random as an answer but going to bed now. ... Night all sweet dreams 

Me too . Any ideas ? 

i am better at talking about how i am feeling than writing about it, but if i do i make it into a poem
Some weeks, this is me
Bleak
i am so sad and i don't know why
something good has passed me by
and every thought within my head
is poisoned by a pitch black dread

i am so tired and i cannot sleep
my anguish is intense and deep
and thinking of it i have observed
something inside say it's deserved

i am so bewildered am feeling ill
i swear it's all against my will
i want to break free into the light
but feel too weak to put up a fight

i am so afraid that i will fail
to escape out of this awful jail
pray to God to give me strength
and help me go to any length
 

@David  . Re your Dec 2 post . 
What you are saying , in a nutshell , is to act . Take action. . . Make the change etc etc . You are absolutely spot on of course . But you know full well, that it's never that simple when you are in it. I know you understand that . Your lost five years . Would they have been avoided by someone saying that to you some time in year one ? We've been in similar states . 
Your post is brilliant . You're writing it now . You wouldn't have written that in the middle of that lost five years . Thanks for posting it. I understand it , because I'm the right side of it at the moment . Well most of me is. Regret is a bitch to deal with though . 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, you're right though, nobody talked to me like that, everyone just assumed I was happy. Not easy at I just hope it clicks with one person as losing years like that still drives me mad today

I've remained fairly silent in this thread, not really wanting to jump in as I may come across as an ******** and offend someone when it's not my intention at all. Members that have been on this forum for a long time will know I was diagnosed with sever anxiety where I barely left the house for around 5 years, my girlfriend at the time left me and I was a complete mess. So I'm only talking from personal experience combined with what I read over the years, I'm certainly no medical expert or will ever claim to be.
Erase the word depression from your dictionary, it's a word that is a huge umbrella trying to cover many issues, some of which may not even be mental disorders. It's an awful word and one that is used too lightly in everyday conversations. There isn't even any clear guidelines as to what "depression" is.
I could walk into a doctors this morning and within 5 minutes walk out with a anti depressants prescription and signed off work with very little effort and those twice a day before meal tablets will make you feel better but they are also masking the root cause of what is making you unhappy.
Analogy time, you're in debt, bills keep rolling through the door, final payment demand letters and you're putting them straight in the bin without warning. At some point those unopened letters will end up in bigger problems with bailiffs banging at your door.
Best thing to do? open the letters and deal with them, make the call, explain your situation and that's exactly what you should do if you are feeling unhappy, talk to a loved one, explain how you're feeling and break down in tears if you need to, just be completely open with them and hide nothing. Those sleepless nights are you trying to deal with things alone, all the lads will know this but how good does it feel when you unload on to the missus?.......this is no different, unload those thoughts as well and you will feel 10x better I swear. (If you are single you will need a close friend, family member or relative to unload on but just the thoughts, they may not appreciate the other)
Next step is to make changes, if you look back through this topic many possibly without realising have listed the root causes to their unhappiness, change it. Change isn't always easy but neither is sleepless nights and going through days thinking whats the point of me even being here. 
For some it may take weeks, months of talking to get down to the root cause but there always is a root cause for most people. Theres always that one thing be it your wife, job that you can change.
You only live once, no second chances at all this, the days, weeks, months soon mount up and wether you're young or old it's time you will never get back. I lost pretty much 5 years of my twenties, kick myself in the balls everyday for that, time lost as I chose to be the man and try to deal with those little issues by myself which snowballed into one huge ****** that blocked the front door.
Never no matter what age just accept it's part of you, just the way you are!
Just to end on I do realise that sometimes people have issues where change and talking won't help, they are wired up wrong and need medical help. Also feeling unhappy can be down to a loved one where change is not an option, death unfortunately is a part of life that is not always easy to get your head around when it happens to someone close. 

https://www.facebook.com/DerbyCounty1/videos/10154426715215797/
Some of you may remember that I did some volunteering around World Suicide Prevention Day back in September. I've been trying to get my hands on the video they showed before the game ever since to post on here. Didn't realise that they'd already put it on their Facebook page. Doh!
Anyway, the link is above if anyone wants to watch it - it's a good message all year round.
 

Bear in mind , I refuse to watch films containing anything to do with ,  Elves , goblins , fairies , wizards , robots , zombies , vampires , unessesary violence , imaginary lands, aliens , talking animals , torture , war. 
  I highly recommend Sing Street ! 
Shame it had such a limited cinema release . Wasn't on within 40 miles of me. I ended up watching it on google play . Wonderful film. I'd say you need to be of a certain age to enjoy it . I'm 56. 

I've never found one , but always thought there was a market for a game like that. I'm obviously wrong , otherwise there would be one. Maybe it's only you and me that would play it. 
I'm too thick and too slow to play online . 

Absolutely right....and nearly impossible to understand.  We are all at the mercy of our brain chemistry to a large extent. That realisation alone has helped me somewhat, I don't feel guilty now for being a miserable **** sometimes. It can be out of my control. Not always though, other times, I could make more of an effort to be more helpful to people who are probably only struggling along like myself.

Wow not been on the forum in a while but this thread has hit me like a train.
I'm struggling with anxiety at the moment really bad. Mainly because of work. I don't feel fulfilled at all in my role and i know i'm capable of so much. I've been trying really hard to get a new job without much luck. I really want to progress in my career and have a baby on the way who i want to provide for in the best way possible.
A big problem of mine is that i struggle to let out how i feel. There just doesn't seem to be a connection between my brain and mouth sometimes but i can write my feelings with ease.
The brain is so difficult to control!

I know. But you see things very differently, at various stages of your life, and hugely dependant on state of mind. If I was given those now, I'd take them no problem. Thing is though, I don't need them now. When they were prescribed to me, I was in a right state. The doctor asked me about three questions. Didn't even look up from the notes he was making, presumably about the previous patient. Anyway, I decided not to eat them. I took a different route.  Maybe they'd have helped. I'll never know. They'd almost certainly have speeded up the process of getting better. I hope I never have to make such choices again. 
Glad that they worked for you. A couple of others have told me the same. 

Yes. But when you've already spent a couple of hours in the rain, on the embankment of the West coast mainline, a couple of those side effects are worrying. 

I know. But you see things very differently, at various stages of your life, and hugely dependant on state of mind. If I was given those now, I'd take them no problem. Thing is though, I don't need them now. When they were prescribed to me, I was in a right state. The doctor asked me about three questions. Didn't even look up from the notes he was making, presumably about the previous patient. Anyway, I decided not to eat them. I took a different route.  Maybe they'd have helped. I'll never know. They'd almost certainly have speeded up the process of getting better. I hope I never have to make such choices again. 
Glad that they worked for you. A couple of others have told me the same. 

I was prescribed cipralex about six years ago. Ended up not taking any of them, and returned them to the pharmacy a few weeks later. I may have taken them, if I hadn't read the leaflet.