ketteringram

It annoys me...... When I go to open a door that opens towards me, and someone on the other side opens it at the same time, unknowingly smashing the handle into my hand. It's not that which annoys me as such. It's that I then always seem to apologise to the other person! 

@Alex W 

Thanks for the reply! To be honest, it's not something I think about much these days. I've just come to accept that it's how I am. It doesn't bother me, but I'm very aware that it seems very odd to people. 

Work and home are a long way apart. I've lived at current address for about six years, and I actually don't know anybody there. I'm away at work all week, where obviously, I work with other people. Work has never been a problem. Social is the problem.  I guess in order to fix it, something like evening classes or similar would be the way to go. Being a non drinker doesn't help. But maybe an evening course would work, where at the start, no one knows each other. All in the same boat so to speak. 

It's been so long though, that it seems a strange concept to socialise at all. Maybe I'll just leave it until I'm in the care home!

@RamsPolls

Have you read our thread?? 

@Alex W @Tony Le Mesmer and others..... 

Regarding the social anxiety stuff. For you, is it mainly when there are going to be a lot of people who you don't know? Can you go out with two or three people you do know, as long as you have an out?? 

Mine is almost the opposite. I need, and will check for the out. My seat is end of aisle, right next to steps. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be going to games! I book cinema tickets etc, the same. 

But going out, for me, seems different to what most describe in here. It's something that I simply don't do. Now I know that's the easy way out, avoidance. But I could go to anything, however big, on my own. I don't bother, but I could. As long as I don't know anyone there. If there are going to be people there I know, then I won't be there. Probably somewhere between 15 and 20 years since I did that sort of thing. I have no idea what triggered it. 

26 minutes ago, angieram said:

At the back of the stand today - sorry not good quality.

So that's where Butterfield was! 

44 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

Modern poetry. God i hate that.

And not having any milk.

That doesn't even rhyme. 

@David 

Don't mock this, but I think you'd see a big improvement by going gluten free for a month. If it makes no difference, so be it. Life changer for my Mrs though! 

It has taken me many years to realise that I'm important to me.

As posted above, by @ilkleyram 

Whatever you take from the responses  here, make sure that one gets into your head. @Norman

38 minutes ago, Rambo11 said:

A quick thank you to people that liked/quoted my post.

I apologise for taking so long to repost but I've spent the last 2 weeks fearing that people would mock me. Nothing to do with the people on this forum, unfortunately it's just how my mind works!

I apologise if it's a personal question, but what do you guys use as coping techniques?

For example, I live in Ilkeston (for my sins), but every other week I go to Nottingham after work for a couple of drinks by myself. My friends have regularly offered to come with me but I reject it because I often find that this time alone with my thoughts helps me. I've found that I do enjoy some time alone 

I guess I wonder if I'm alone in feeling that way, and wonder if anyone has any advice?

 

You use whatever coping method you need. Yours seems fine to me, but I'm hardly the best person to judge it!

2 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

the state of the Gents in various busy places, such as pubs, clubs and football stadia.

What is it about busy toilets that means people cannot piss properly, cannot flush a chain, and cannot avoid vandalising them?

I think you've got to be some sort of backwards person if you think making the state of toilets worse that they already are is somewhat acceptable. I prefer to leave the toilets as nice as possible, cos that's how I like them to be when I need to use them.

 

Oh, and Audi owners.

There's probably a connection. 

http://www.rattlenhumbarnyc.com/rattlenhumeast

No idea if that link will work, it's the first time I've tried! 

Before my recent New York trip, an old colleague of mine recommended this place. It's close to the Empire State building. He didn't realise that I don't drink! But when I checked out the website, I  was staggered by the amount of different beers they sell. Not to mention the strength of some of them! 

3 hours ago, Paul71 said:

i do love stupid questions, even better when someone like strachan just rips them apart...love the classic so gordon where did you think you lost the game today...his reponse..on that big green thing out there

I like it when they ask a newly appointed manager, at his first press conference, 

'Do you think you are the right man for the job? '

The list of films on virgin Atlantic, flying this week, is dire. Is Jason Bourne any good? I liked the first three. Failing that, it looks like Finding Dory. 

14 minutes ago, jono said:

I am a bit like SillyBilly although not as extreme I suspect. .. Do all the sums .. Look at the end of the road .. You can see with perfect clarity where it's all going even with a fair wind. What's the point, hell in a hand cart 

Then I remember that Dalai Lama quote .. The purpose of our lives is to be happy, and the one from I can't remember which Rock Star .. Our purpose in life is to mess about and have fun, don't listen to anyone that tells you any different. 

I am getting towards the back end of my working life, still a bit to go. Relatively stable but going to do something a bit out of left field ( for me ) .. I used to be worried about change, status, what might be, what I "should" be doing or what I could have done. Now I am looking forward to it and gunning at the prospect .. Not a lot of money but a contribution 

i am in awe of you guys that have shared your tribulations .. Keep doing it .. It's healthy. None of us is immune. Mates, even cyber mates are a huge help and want to help. I feel humble moaning about my occasional black dog days and grim pragmatic fatalism. 

Pete you are right .. The delightful daftness of excessive footy passion is a perfect example of what we should be doing. Worrying too much about Trump, Putin, pension deficits the knackered boiler and Brexit won't make us happy or enrich the one way journey that is our life. Ball, back of the net, jumping for joy most certainly does. The guy who founded Honda said "The value of your life can be determined by how many times your soul has been strired." .. So for me I want to try ( and I fail often ) to find things that stir my soul. 

Me too . Any ideas ? 

6 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

the M42....

My commute. A14, M6, M42, M5 . 

160 miles one way . Not too bad on a Monday morning , setting off about 4.00AM. Not so good Friday afternoon . 

@David  . Re your Dec 2 post . 

What you are saying , in a nutshell , is to act . Take action. . . Make the change etc etc . You are absolutely spot on of course . But you know full well, that it's never that simple when you are in it. I know you understand that . Your lost five years . Would they have been avoided by someone saying that to you some time in year one ? We've been in similar states . 

Your post is brilliant . You're writing it now . You wouldn't have written that in the middle of that lost five years . Thanks for posting it. I understand it , because I'm the right side of it at the moment . Well most of me is. Regret is a bitch to deal with though . 

2 hours ago, Leicester Ram said:

Fixed that for you, mate.

I've also only heard good things about Sing Street for months now.

Thanks for fixing it mate . I didn't have the imagination . 

Bear in mind , I refuse to watch films containing anything to do with ,  Elves , goblins , fairies , wizards , robots , zombies , vampires , unessesary violence , imaginary lands, aliens , talking animals , torture , war. 

  I highly recommend Sing Street ! 

Shame it had such a limited cinema release . Wasn't on within 40 miles of me. I ended up watching it on google play . Wonderful film. I'd say you need to be of a certain age to enjoy it . I'm 56. 

4 hours ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Considering asking for a PS4 from Santa but wondered what you lot think about the system and indeed the games?

I'm a pretty basic gamer and am not interested in online multiplayer things and all the extras. I just want to play the games by myself as a single player. Are most games nowadays geared towards playing online with total strangers throughout the world or can you still play them solo campaigns?

 

Love any advice and game advice too. I'm a survival horror fan, loved the old resi evils and silent hills but they don't seem to make games like this anymore where you find items, follow maps and solve puzzles. It's all about incessant blasting of zombies from what I gather.

Anyone any ideas thanks?

I've never found one , but always thought there was a market for a game like that. I'm obviously wrong , otherwise there would be one. Maybe it's only you and me that would play it. 

I'm too thick and too slow to play online . 

2 hours ago, Anag Ram said:

If you want to explore the way you feel then I would recommend trying counselling/ psychotherapy.

Sometimes just saying it out loud is a relief. A good qualified therapist will truly listen.

I wish you all the best 

Agree with this . It may take a few goes to find the right person . So don't be put off if the first try doesn't work out . Whatever else you do , it's clear that one way or another , work life needs sorting out ! Hope you start to sort it out quickly . 

11 hours ago, Wolfie said:

You should try buying any medication in the USA. Dire warnings of death on packets of ibuprofen. 

I'm not saying side effects don't exist but most people aren't affected by them, or the medication wouldn't be considered safe for use. You should be having regular catch ups with the doc & if side effects are bad you can switch to something else or stop altogether. 

I guess it's a matter of measuring your need against any possible nasties. I can only go on my experience & they worked for me with no discernible negatives. 

I know. But you see things very differently, at various stages of your life, and hugely dependant on state of mind. If I was given those now, I'd take them no problem. Thing is though, I don't need them now. When they were prescribed to me, I was in a right state. The doctor asked me about three questions. Didn't even look up from the notes he was making, presumably about the previous patient. Anyway, I decided not to eat them. I took a different route.  Maybe they'd have helped. I'll never know. They'd almost certainly have speeded up the process of getting better. I hope I never have to make such choices again. 

Glad that they worked for you. A couple of others have told me the same. 

5 hours ago, dcfcfan1 said:

most of the side effects written on the leaflet are manufacturers trying to cover their own arse

 

 

Yes. But when you've already spent a couple of hours in the rain, on the embankment of the West coast mainline, a couple of those side effects are worrying. 

I was prescribed cipralex about six years ago. Ended up not taking any of them, and returned them to the pharmacy a few weeks later. I may have taken them, if I hadn't read the leaflet. 

@Tony Le Mesmer not sure how old you are, but definitely worth taking one of the first steps that angieram talks about. Just do it. I'm older living proof, that you should just do it. Don't end up like me. 

19 minutes ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Does anyone have health anxiety that they feel ok to talk about? I have a few health problems but am constantly worrying about health and getting really ill. Its like OCD I guess but preoccupied with it. Anyone have this?

Sorry. Do you mean you really have health problems that you worry about? Or you worry about things that may be wrong with you?