Brammie Steve

at twenty to thirty if a man lives right
It's once in the morning and twice every night.
From thirty to forty if he still lives right
He misses a morning and sometimes a night
From forty to fifty it's just now and then
And when he's past fifty it's heaven knows when
When he gets past sixty he might feel inclined 
But don't let him kid you, it's all in his mind
It used to be embarrassing to make the thing behave
'cause every single morning it would stand and watch him shave
But now that he is older it just gives him the blues
Cos all it does is hang there and watch him shine his shoes
It doesn't shine so bright now, the pilot light's gone out,
What used to be his sex appeal is now his water spout.
 
Amazing what gets passed down the generations isn't it?
 

at twenty to thirty if a man lives right
It's once in the morning and twice every night.
From thirty to forty if he still lives right
He misses a morning and sometimes a night
From forty to fifty it's just now and then
And when he's past fifty it's heaven knows when
When he gets past sixty he might feel inclined 
But don't let him kid you, it's all in his mind
It used to be embarrassing to make the thing behave
'cause every single morning it would stand and watch him shave
But now that he is older it just gives him the blues
Cos all it does is hang there and watch him shine his shoes
It doesn't shine so bright now, the pilot light's gone out,
What used to be his sex appeal is now his water spout.
 
Amazing what gets passed down the generations isn't it?
 

Quorns are like haggis.
Two left legs are shorter than the right. They get away easily if you try to catch them on hills in one direction.
The trick is to turn them round!?

Not interested.  I'm a vegan.  Don't know how you can eat the cute little fella's.  Monster!  

Quorns are like haggis.
Two left legs are shorter than the right. They get away easily if you try to catch them on hills in one direction.
The trick is to turn them round!?

Seems a lot of work for a lousy bottle of booze, but couldn't happen to a nicer bloke!

Right pair of party poopers you are!
Only see the negatives.
Where one guy sees problems, another sees opportunities.
Now where did I leave my rose-tinted specs?

Blokes dog ate my hat.
The owner just said 'So what?'
I said 'I'm not sure I like attitude'
He said, 'Mine? It's your attitude!'
 
All this, yet cannot get a like?!!!

Blokes dog ate my hat.
The owner just said 'So what?'
I said 'I'm not sure I like attitude'
He said, 'Mine? It's your attitude!'
 
All this, yet cannot get a like?!!!

Especially when they cause a pile up which adds 2-3 hours to everyone's journey and 'life-changing' misery to others!

"Stop me if you've heard this one" (so you do, and they're offended)
"You can be honest with me" (so you are, see above)
"Anyway, to cut a long story short" (too late!)
"I mean, let's face it" (Why?)
"It's not the money, it's the principle(it's the Money!)
"Absolutely!" (Not on your nellie!)
Br**it!
 

"Stop me if you've heard this one" (so you do, and they're offended)
"You can be honest with me" (so you are, see above)
"Anyway, to cut a long story short" (too late!)
"I mean, let's face it" (Why?)
"It's not the money, it's the principle(it's the Money!)
"Absolutely!" (Not on your nellie!)
Br**it!
 

My constellation is still keepin good time!
Nice enough to be collectable, worn enough to be worn daily!

Tonight's meal took me about twenty minutes to prepare. 
A very tasty salmon pasta salad.
 

Tonight's meal took me about twenty minutes to prepare. 
A very tasty salmon pasta salad.
 

Ernie LeGrice
The very same.
He taught Dad and his Three Sons.
Also Carol, my first girlfriend.

That’s fantastic!
I’m delighted it has such a happy outcome.
Maybe now I can convince Mrs Brummie that my expanding collection of vintage musical instruments is a good investment!
Meanwhile keep your lottery numbers to yourself......you don’t want too many joint winners!?

My constellation is still keepin good time!
Nice enough to be collectable, worn enough to be worn daily!

Made a Quorn mince spag bol using Dolmio Light sauce.
Mrs Brummie said it was delicious!
I've just ordered 3 more jars as Morrisons have knocked 78p off!

Made a Quorn mince spag bol using Dolmio Light sauce.
Mrs Brummie said it was delicious!
I've just ordered 3 more jars as Morrisons have knocked 78p off!

Exactly my philosophy. I'll let you know when/if it happens (the auction, not the poke in the eye)

At the doctor's today a beautiful African toddler, age about two, made a grab for my iPad. I showed her the screen on camera mode (no photos taken of course). She was fascinated and when her mum was called in to the doctors toddler came back to my iPad. We held it in front of her and she was happy to toddle off after mum who thanked me for the help.
Cheered me up, and quite a few others in the waiting room!

At the doctor's today a beautiful African toddler, age about two, made a grab for my iPad. I showed her the screen on camera mode (no photos taken of course). She was fascinated and when her mum was called in to the doctors toddler came back to my iPad. We held it in front of her and she was happy to toddle off after mum who thanked me for the help.
Cheered me up, and quite a few others in the waiting room!

Daughter and her partner moving in with us, while their new house is being built. Means I get to play with my grandchildren even more.