Cisse

A massive thanks to you all for your advice and support, it's been much appreciated.
I've had issues for about 3 or 4 years now but it's really escalated since I moved back to the UK.
My doctor referred me to We are With You a year or so ago and i have been attending meetings online (sporadically) but had stopped seeing my caseworker through sheer complacency.
And that's my problem. I stop, have zero problem stopping for a few weeks and then think I've got it cracked and I haven't. I never will have, but reminding myself that when I'm not even arsed about not drinking seems really tough.
And then I have a terrible nights sleep or have some super stressful stuff going on work-wise and Vodka seems like a brilliant idea and I can just have it once and I'll be ok. But it's never one. I mean literally NEVER. And it's progressive. I got to my mid-50s managing my intake well and knowing when to stop, now I've hit 60 those days have gone 
Coincidentally my caseworker texted me this morning for the first. time in months and asked if I wanted to book something, so I have.
I'm also seeing an addiction specialist privately and I've blocked out the time to attend at least 2 meetings per week.
So, I know what I need to do and I'll get there, it's just two steps forward and one back at the moment.
Thanks again to all of you

Bob, you’re an incredibly brave man / woman / badger.  It takes huge guts to admit you need help. You absolutely can and will do this mate.

I managed to kick a very nasty addiction and I’ve been clean for 4 1/2 years now.  I couldn’t have imagined that for a minute when I was in the throes of addiction. The hardest and most important decision I made by a mile was getting it out in the open.
It’s hard work Bob and it’s baby steps, but you will get through this. And you’ll be so much happier and healthier for it.  Good luck.

You've made the biggest, scariest, most difficult and most commendable first step by what you have said. Admittance to an addition is the first battle won, hopefully you will go on to win many more. With help from friends, groups and other organisations and the courage you have shown with this will set you on the right path to winning not only battles but the war itself. We're hear to listen even if we cannot directly help you on your road but there is an end to it, keep going down it and you'll get there. Wish you all the best and you're already going in the right direction. 

Round of applause for a very brave first step. The first step on a journey is always the hardest, but in 5 years time, you’ll be living your best life, and looking back on this moment as a turning point. There’s a long road between here and there, but take it one step at a time, and look after yourself. 

Bob , I’m an alcoholic too , I’ve not drunk in over 25 years
advice ? get yourself to AA you will get great people around you and believe me you can not only stop drinking you can find real happiness in not drinking , at the first stage your at that seems impossible we can’t picture ever being able to live and enjoy life without a few drinks ( it never is for us ) but believe me life gets better every day 
please please pm any time if you need help , advice or an ear 

Apology not accepted as it's not needed.

Echo this.
You've already made the hardest step, admitting you have a problem.
It's not plain sailing from here on, but you appear to be wanting help posting this so that's a huge positive.
Support is easier when the person is open and willing, not being forced into accepting help.

Thanks mate. Just seen this and it's after 8. Will call tomorrow 

This is the hardest message I've ever typed sorry but I need help I'm an alcoholic

Wildsmith saves! 

Wildsmith doesn't deserve to lose this, none of them do. What a performance!

I think I should head back there and visit megastore to get myself a Wildsmith jersey.

I think I should head back there and visit megastore to get myself a Wildsmith jersey.

I think I should head back there and visit megastore to get myself a Wildsmith jersey.

Duck a Duck!  McG!  Shoulda, woulda, couldna!   ?

I don't know what the show is about but if Rita Ora,Cheryl Cole and Salma Hayek was in jungle I might take a look and see if it was worth watching.

I don't know what the show is about but if Rita Ora,Cheryl Cole and Salma Hayek was in jungle I might take a look and see if it was worth watching.

I don't know what the show is about but if Rita Ora,Cheryl Cole and Salma Hayek was in jungle I might take a look and see if it was worth watching.

I was raised not to play with food. 

I was raised not to play with food. 

I was raised not to play with food. 

When I was in my 40's I bought a pumpkin home for my dad. I asked him if he'd ever carved a pumpkin and he hadn't and neither had I.
We both set to carving it and had such a good time designing the features and evaluating our success! We kept it for a couple of days with a night light inside but then it turned blue and we had to get rid!
I made pumpkin soup on Hallowe'en night with carrots, pumpkin, tinned tomatoes onions, stock and cumin. We had a good cheese and crusty bread and it was a moment to literally savour.
My dad died in 2008 and I still remember this night of fun and laughter.
Do I still carve pumpkins? No! It's bloomin' hard work. But we buy pumpkins and make the most lovely meals every October. Next meal tomorrow is pork chops with roasted pumpkin slices and mustard sauce. A much under rated veg. Make the most of them while they are around. Lots of recipes on the internet. ?

I saw a ghost once in a clear daylight. The problem was that I couldn't enjoy the meeting as I learned that it was a ghost two months after the incident. I was walking by my old house and saw my old neighbor. As i mentioned that two months later my parents told me that I couldn't have seen him as he had been dead over two years.

Over a decade of posting unwanted opinions behind me. That is pretty sad.