Work & Home Life

[Comrade 86]

4 hours ago, ramit said:

i have begun going swimming again to get back in some sort of form.  Went bowling this evening with my son and was sweating like i was hard at work, my stamina is just shot.  Been hectic in the family, my mother is in a care home now, her mind quickly slipping away and it's difficult to witness.  My brother in law had a stroke and then got Alzheimer which is developing quickly and my only sister is in poor health and now her memory seems to be getting foggy too.  Been cleaning out mother's house and that was a huge job for sis and me and we've sold it and mother sometimes knows and sometimes talks about going home, sigh.  Covid messed up my son's education, his grades have plummeted, there were so many classes that got canceled.  My cousin's stepson committed suicide last week, he was 18 and then his girlfriend did the same two days later.  My sociopath brother wants to come over for coffee to pick up our relationship, we hardly ever speak and i know what he wants and am dreading meeting him.

i follow world events too closely for my own good, i hardly ever go out, i check on Derby a thousand times a day and wonder how anyone can put with me anymore, but i appear to be married to a saint and therefor do count my blessings.  It is certainly time for a change, to begin taking better care of myself and my loved ones.

Really sorry to hear things are so tough Ramit. Sounds like you've had a grim time of things and are still in the midst of it. The Covid era has been quite insidious - a lot of folk suffering with 'symptoms' not physiologically connected directly, but very much resulting from the virus and it can a long road back for sure. I hate the saying, but it's very much true that every journey starts with a step so I'm keeping things simple these days as best I can.

The world events thing is interesting as I'm slowly withdrawing from what was an unhealthy level of 'interest'. Too much just makes me angry so I'm tending now to block things out as I would white noise. Not sure that's the best policy, but my blood pressure is probably better for it. At least you're taking steps to address the health thing. Swimming is such good exercise, but I only ever swim in the sea. My eyes are hyper-sensitive to chlorine and I can't do goggles for some reason. Being just about as far from the coast as one can be in this country isn't terribly helpful but I might take my girl to the Greek Islands later this summer. She's an open-water swimmer so she'll knock me into shape! Greece or not, I'm mindful there's a big old world out there waiting to be rediscovered. I've emailed my business partner this morning to tell him I'm stepping back from the business. Some stuff to work out on that side of things, but I'm ok for money so it's now or never.

Best of luck mate.

[SSD]

Had a run of deaths and issues to deal with in the family, the latest was our family pet who died in an accident and I think that's just tipped me over the edge. Lacking the energy to go to work, thankfully I can do what I need at home. Can't face holding conversations with people at the moment, my family are more important. We've had a run of bad luck and it's just keeps hitting us like a freight train. 

Never had to deal with close grief before and now all of sudden it feels like your little world just crumbles. Work does have its uses, I've tried to switch off and cracked on with the day to day work routine as best as I can. 

This morning I woke up, hid the alcohol away because that's just asking for more trouble. Don't remember ever feeling as numb.

Edited June 28, 2022 by SouthStandDan

[Ewetube]

The Mrs. and I, in the last 9 months, have had to deal with my diagnosis and treatment for stage 2 gastric cancer.

During this time our daughter gave birth to a very premature baby who has faced multiple challenges and may be severely disabled. 

Our daughter herself who already had mental health issues including bipolar disorder suffered a decline to the point that social services stepped in and placed her other three kids in our care.

Our oldest son split with his long-time partner and was for a while homeless, resorting to sofa surfing at friends' and family's residences.

As depressing and embarrassing as Derby's plight has been, keeping up to date with the latest developments on here has actually been a welcome distraction to all the other poo happening in my life.

I'm just glad there is some light at the end of the tunnel with the DC takeover.

On a personal level I've had 4 cycles of chemo, a total gastrectomy and will soon be having another 4 cycles of chemo to complete my treatment.

My son has now got his own place and is concentrating on health and fitness to distract him from the pain of his failed relationship.

My premature grandson is getting stronger although it seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

Our daughter is unfortunately still really struggling, we try our best to help, where we can.

Sorry for the long rambling post, but it has been quite cathartic. 

Edited June 28, 2022 by Ewetube
Missed word

[Anag Ram]

On 28/06/2022 at 13:05, Ewetube said:

The Mrs. and I, in the last 9 months, have had to deal with my diagnosis and treatment for stage 2 gastric cancer.

During this time our daughter gave birth to a very premature baby who has faced multiple challenges and may be severely disabled. 

Our daughter herself who already had mental health issues including bipolar disorder suffered a decline to the point that social services stepped in and placed her other three kids in our care.

Our oldest son split with his long-time partner and was for a while homeless, resorting to sofa surfing at friends' and family's residences.

As depressing and embarrassing as Derby's plight has been, keeping up to date with the latest developments on here has actually been a welcome distraction to all the other poo happening in my life.

I'm just glad there is some light at the end of the tunnel with the DC takeover.

On a personal level I've had 4 cycles of chemo, a total gastrectomy and will soon be having another 4 cycles of chemo to complete my treatment.

My son has now got his own place and is concentrating on health and fitness to distract him from the pain of his failed relationship.

My premature grandson is getting stronger although it seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

Our daughter is unfortunately still really struggling, we try our best to help, where we can.

Sorry for the long rambling post, but it has been quite cathartic. 

Amazing and desperate series of events.

I wish you all the best as you face each challenge.

Puts our petty gripes into perspective.

Look after yourself 

[Ewetube]

4 minutes ago, Anag Ram said:

Amazing and desperate series of events.

I wish you all the best as you face each challenge.

Puts our petty gripes into perspective.

Look after yourself 

Thank you for your kind words!

We certainly don't do things by halves. Lol.

Cancer treatment is nearing its end so hopefully it will soon be one less thing to worry about.

 

[ariotofmyown]

On 28/06/2022 at 13:05, Ewetube said:

Sorry for the long rambling post, but it has been quite cathartic. 

The most unneccesary apology ever. Hope your treatment all goes well and daughter improves x

[jono]

Wow, and we are always reminded that each of us has our own story. My heart goes out to those struggling. 
 

In a sense Covid changed my life. My wife and I are childless but at the start of lockdown my then 17 year old niece came to live with us permanently. Her Dad is a hugely complex, difficult, troubled guy and has been all his life. He is now a woman. Hugely difficult for him and made worse, in that rather than relaxing and shedding pent up anger it seems to have made matters worse. Every part of every radical viewpoint is absorbed with aggressive glee and bitterness in equal measure. Even the most kindly comment is interpreted as a slight. His already withdrawn daughter was on the verge of imploding. Relations had never been great so we hardly knew her but somehow things unfolded and we ended up with a teenager in the house ! she has just finished her A levels at Joseph Wright after 2 and half years of living with us and has come out of her shell delightfully. It’s been a steep learning curve for all of us but hugely rewarding. I feel deep sadness for my brother but everything had always been about him, his constant problems throughout his life, meanwhile there was a young life that was being damaged, ignored almost cast aside in the desire to be a new me. We lost my wife’s Mum who we cared for in a granny annex to our house, despite her great age it was a profoundly difficult thing to see a loved one fight, fade and die in front of you. My wife who has been stoic, loving  and caring through it all. Although I owe nothing to no one and am mortgage free, the savings dwindle and my pension is limited so I now have a part time basic job which is hilarious because you end up working with kids that are just about young enough to be your grandchildren and you see your “boss” and think you need a shave young man ?. 
So For me Covid is what it is, Selfishly because I don’t want to downsize just yet, I am more worried about my failing teeth and figuring out the best way to get some income from the granny annex to pay the energy bills and what guidance I can give to a young woman. Oh and hoping someone does one on Putin and we build the Severn barrage

[angieram]

44 minutes ago, jono said:

Wow, and we are always reminded that each of us has our own story. My heart goes out to those struggling. 
 

In a sense Covid changed my life. My wife and I are childless but at the start of lockdown my then 17 year old niece came to live with us permanently. Her Dad is a hugely complex, difficult, troubled guy and has been all his life. He is now a woman. Hugely difficult for him and made worse, in that rather than relaxing and shedding pent up anger it seems to have made matters worse. Every part of every radical viewpoint is absorbed with aggressive glee and bitterness in equal measure. Even the most kindly comment is interpreted as a slight. His already withdrawn daughter was on the verge of imploding. Relations had never been great so we hardly knew her but somehow things unfolded and we ended up with a teenager in the house ! she has just finished her A levels at Joseph Wright after 2 and half years of living with us and has come out of her shell delightfully. It’s been a steep learning curve for all of us but hugely rewarding. I feel deep sadness for my brother but everything had always been about him, his constant problems throughout his life, meanwhile there was a young life that was being damaged, ignored almost cast aside in the desire to be a new me. We lost my wife’s Mum who we cared for in a granny annex to our house, despite her great age it was a profoundly difficult thing to see a loved one fight, fade and die in front of you. My wife who has been stoic, loving  and caring through it all. Although I owe nothing to no one and am mortgage free, the savings dwindle and my pension is limited so I now have a part time basic job which is hilarious because you end up working with kids that are just about young enough to be your grandchildren and you see your “boss” and think you need a shave young man ?. 
So For me Covid is what it is, Selfishly because I don’t want to downsize just yet, I am more worried about my failing teeth and figuring out the best way to get some income from the granny annex to pay the energy bills and what guidance I can give to a young woman. Oh and hoping someone does one on Putin and we build the Severn barrage

That's a very heartwarming story, even tinged with sadness as it is. 

I feel for you as a family as we have a relative going through similar personal struggles. Whilst we try to support them, the impact on immediate family is a big worry. 

You seem to be working it all out and I'm sure you'll make a very reasonable air b'n'b landlord (or holiday let, or long term professional digs, whatever!) 

[Archied]

1 hour ago, jono said:

Wow, and we are always reminded that each of us has our own story. My heart goes out to those struggling. 
 

In a sense Covid changed my life. My wife and I are childless but at the start of lockdown my then 17 year old niece came to live with us permanently. Her Dad is a hugely complex, difficult, troubled guy and has been all his life. He is now a woman. Hugely difficult for him and made worse, in that rather than relaxing and shedding pent up anger it seems to have made matters worse. Every part of every radical viewpoint is absorbed with aggressive glee and bitterness in equal measure. Even the most kindly comment is interpreted as a slight. His already withdrawn daughter was on the verge of imploding. Relations had never been great so we hardly knew her but somehow things unfolded and we ended up with a teenager in the house ! she has just finished her A levels at Joseph Wright after 2 and half years of living with us and has come out of her shell delightfully. It’s been a steep learning curve for all of us but hugely rewarding. I feel deep sadness for my brother but everything had always been about him, his constant problems throughout his life, meanwhile there was a young life that was being damaged, ignored almost cast aside in the desire to be a new me. We lost my wife’s Mum who we cared for in a granny annex to our house, despite her great age it was a profoundly difficult thing to see a loved one fight, fade and die in front of you. My wife who has been stoic, loving  and caring through it all. Although I owe nothing to no one and am mortgage free, the savings dwindle and my pension is limited so I now have a part time basic job which is hilarious because you end up working with kids that are just about young enough to be your grandchildren and you see your “boss” and think you need a shave young man ?. 
So For me Covid is what it is, Selfishly because I don’t want to downsize just yet, I am more worried about my failing teeth and figuring out the best way to get some income from the granny annex to pay the energy bills and what guidance I can give to a young woman. Oh and hoping someone does one on Putin and we build the Severn barrage

I often think how easy life would be if you could go through it not giving a stuff about anybody else but as your post shows , most of us are trying to be decent people and it’s hard and often draining but there’s rewards there too ,

all the best , your certainly giving great help to at least one young life and that spreads further ?