CornwallRam Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Driving these days is generally pretty stressful. There are usually too many cars on the road and many of them are being driven erratically. I’ve come up with a plan to sort both problems out. The law should be amended so that the following offences are punishable by lifetime driving bans: Driving in a hat – the culprits are either senile, deranged or a boy/girl racer.Owning more than two cats – it is well known that such behaviour is a symptom of severe mental issues.Driving a BMW - hooligans with money are the worst type.Buying a very small car – these people hate driving and are inevitably rubbish at it.Displaying a Forest badge – insufficient intelligence to master a motor vehicle. I think that you’ll all agree that the roads would be much improved for the rest of us if these sensible measures were implemented. Can anyone think of any others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 All emergency services use horse and cart.... Backseat drivers outlawed Pass law so you can drive on pavements Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezza Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I only have one cat, so not going mad yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Driving with your nose on the windscreen. I've seen loads of giffers doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Srg Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Anyone over 65 should retest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsy Ram Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 All women should be banned from driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Cheaper trains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Driving these days is generally pretty stressful. There are usually too many cars on the road and many of them are being driven erratically. I’ve come up with a plan to sort both problems out. The law should be amended so that the following offences are punishable by lifetime driving bans: Driving in a hat – the culprits are either senile, deranged or a boy/girl racer.Owning more than two cats – it is well known that such behaviour is a symptom of severe mental issues.Driving a BMW - hooligans with money are the worst type.Buying a very small car – these people hate driving and are inevitably rubbish at it.Displaying a Forest badge – insufficient intelligence to master a motor vehicle. I think that you’ll all agree that the roads would be much improved for the rest of us if these sensible measures were implemented. Can anyone think of any others?I'd add Audi drivers to the BMW section too, hooligans with added snobbery willing to pay over the odds for a rebadged VW.Also, drivers of new cars who drive around with their mobile still pressed to their ear, despite having built in bluetooth, but are either too stupid or lazy to use it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I think people driving with earplugs in deserve some sort of pain. I also think it's illegal. How are you meant to hear emergency siren? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CornwallRam Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 I only have one cat, so not going mad yet. There's still time to seek professional help...at least you've spotted the danger signs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozza Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 i think kids should go to school during off peak hours , say 9pm - 3am .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Adopting sage's solution to the housing crisis - build more houses - surely the solution to crowded roads should be to build more roads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I think people driving with earplugs in deserve some sort of pain. I also think it's illegal. How are you meant to hear emergency siren?Sorry, not illegal, otherwise deaf people would not be allowed to drive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Sorry, not illegal, otherwise deaf people would not be allowed to drive.i should have been specific. I mean those listening to ipods etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 The sound might be the first warning, but the bright flashing lights and general tendency for the cars around you to move to the side to let it through should be enough for you to act appropriately and in good time, even without hearing a siren.Anyway, on the banned list:Anyone who's stuck in heavy traffic and sits there honking their horn (not a euphemism) - what exactly are you hoping to achieve, *****? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 BMW drivers. Remove the lot of them. Think their kings of the road until you ask one to pull over. Pooh their pants then. Bet they wouldn't cut across you on foot. You wouldn't get them diving through ASDA doorway in front of you just as you're about to step in. You don't get to the checkout in Sainsburys and then suddenly someone pushes past you and bangs a basket next to the till. Manners you tossers.People who don't indicate. Indicating is free and uses less energy than wiping your arse. Would you not wipe your arse? Would you ever consider wiping your arse too much time and effort? Road tramps. And BMW drivers that don't indicate. Look, the car is on finance, you think Harry Redknapp should manage England and you talk about work when you're out with your mates. Don't pretend your Mad Max. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith Happens Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Im sure there are numerous 4 * 4 drivers on here so i expect to be shot down but....My view is this - only buy a 4*4 if you can actually drive it, i was waiting yesterday whilst a 4*4 driver made numerous attempts before finally succeding at parallel parking, when you've just 'nipped' out for a few minutes that so annoying.I used to work with someone who had a 4*4 who regularly took up two parking spaces when parking, whenever mentioned just got a shrug of the shoulders in return, when i was out with them it used to make me feel complicit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuff264 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Im sure there are numerous 4 * 4 drivers on here so i expect to be shot down but....My view is this - only buy a 4*4 if you can actually drive it, i was waiting yesterday whilst a 4*4 driver made numerous attempts before finally succeding at parallel parking, when you've just 'nipped' out for a few minutes that so annoying.I used to work with someone who had a 4*4 who regularly took up two parking spaces when parking, whenever mentioned just got a shrug of the shoulders in return, when i was out with them it used to make me feel complicit. More importantly, only buy a 4*4 if you actually need one. If you aint taking it off road, you shouldnt have one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 More importantly, only buy a 4*4 if you actually need one. If you aint taking it off road, you shouldnt have one. I'll wave to you next time it snows and you're stuck on a speed hump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuff264 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I'll wave to you next time it snows and you're stuck on a speed hump. Family owns a farm so we've got one! I'll be waving back at you, unstuck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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