Parsnip

Maybe he should have stuck his neck out a bit further and actually picked him?

Maybe he should have stuck his neck out a bit further and actually picked him?

Maybe he should have stuck his neck out a bit further and actually picked him?

Maybe he should have stuck his neck out a bit further and actually picked him?

Maybe he should have stuck his neck out a bit further and actually picked him?

Last Boxing day we had the in laws round as per tradition. Mrs Parsnip's dad brought a massive pork pie he'd made. On a whim I decided to serve it warm.
Frigging hell I'm not joking, he couldn't have been more offended if I started playing videos of me banging his daughter. He was distraught. It's still really uncomfortable if it gets mentioned. I think he's actually stopped loving his grandkids a bit because of it, because they remind him of me.
Glad this Christmas is a bust to be honest.

This is my own take on a traditional Peruvian Steak Paella. The rice, which I import directly from Lima has been marinating all weekend in a blend of spices, the details of which I will take to my grave. The hand reared steak is a piece of my 5 year old daughter's favourite cow Matilda, whom she helped slaughter.

Igor and Aggie looking out towards Owler Bar.
Little does the big Croatian(he’s German really)know his nuts are off tomorrow.

Last Boxing day we had the in laws round as per tradition. Mrs Parsnip's dad brought a massive pork pie he'd made. On a whim I decided to serve it warm.
Frigging hell I'm not joking, he couldn't have been more offended if I started playing videos of me banging his daughter. He was distraught. It's still really uncomfortable if it gets mentioned. I think he's actually stopped loving his grandkids a bit because of it, because they remind him of me.
Glad this Christmas is a bust to be honest.

This is my own take on a traditional Peruvian Steak Paella. The rice, which I import directly from Lima has been marinating all weekend in a blend of spices, the details of which I will take to my grave. The hand reared steak is a piece of my 5 year old daughter's favourite cow Matilda, whom she helped slaughter.

This is my own take on a traditional Peruvian Steak Paella. The rice, which I import directly from Lima has been marinating all weekend in a blend of spices, the details of which I will take to my grave. The hand reared steak is a piece of my 5 year old daughter's favourite cow Matilda, whom she helped slaughter.

Last Boxing day we had the in laws round as per tradition. Mrs Parsnip's dad brought a massive pork pie he'd made. On a whim I decided to serve it warm.
Frigging hell I'm not joking, he couldn't have been more offended if I started playing videos of me banging his daughter. He was distraught. It's still really uncomfortable if it gets mentioned. I think he's actually stopped loving his grandkids a bit because of it, because they remind him of me.
Glad this Christmas is a bust to be honest.

Actually half and half. I just mentioned it to Mrs Parsnip after I'd posted it and she told me that he didn't actually make the pie - he'd just bought one from a butcher. Which makes me lose any sympathy I ever had for him.

This is my own take on a traditional Peruvian Steak Paella. The rice, which I import directly from Lima has been marinating all weekend in a blend of spices, the details of which I will take to my grave. The hand reared steak is a piece of my 5 year old daughter's favourite cow Matilda, whom she helped slaughter.

This is my own take on a traditional Peruvian Steak Paella. The rice, which I import directly from Lima has been marinating all weekend in a blend of spices, the details of which I will take to my grave. The hand reared steak is a piece of my 5 year old daughter's favourite cow Matilda, whom she helped slaughter.

I have a rental property in Matlock and the downstairs neighbours are the vilest things I've ever known. He's like a cross between a dead gecko and Jimmy Saville, his hands are all gnarled and he has this broad Nottingham drawl. His wife is 3 feet tall, never speaks, just skulks behind his legs hissing. To be fair to her she does look like she's had a very hard life.
Every tenant I've ever had has left because of these creatures. I've had tenants call the police on several occasions but he's an ex copper himself so I think he knows what he can and can't get away with.
I had to tell the estate agent not to offer the flat to single women, people with children or anyone who seems in any way vulnerable because he'll just relentlessly bully them until they leave.
The saving grace is that my brother's marriage has broken down so he's in there for the foreseeable. Loves a good scrap he does.

Another takeover Nicholas?

I'm excited about this now - hope it's not crap.
 

I'm excited about this now - hope it's not crap.
 

I'm excited about this now - hope it's not crap.
 

Lovely steak and kidney pie and chips for me tonight!

What's that @Angry Ram? Something missing you say? Right you are sir...

What's that @Jourdan? Still something missing you say? Ok ok just for you..

Everyone happy now?

Lovely steak and kidney pie and chips for me tonight!

What's that @Angry Ram? Something missing you say? Right you are sir...

What's that @Jourdan? Still something missing you say? Ok ok just for you..

Everyone happy now?

That looks tasty.. 

Lovely steak and kidney pie and chips for me tonight!

What's that @Angry Ram? Something missing you say? Right you are sir...

What's that @Jourdan? Still something missing you say? Ok ok just for you..

Everyone happy now?