DarkFruitsRam7

this sadden me revel, not least because as meaningless as it is to you, you've been my favourite poster on this forum for a good few years now, and when I've been really low, many of your posts have made me smile.
I can't answer for your issues, but awareness, as I am consistently convinced,  is the start of a recovery. and alcohol is the fuel for lots of misery, especially if it's chemically enhanced lagers brewed in the UK (such as Stella).
I imagine if you can sustain a couple of weeks off the drink, even if you're not a big drinker, and replace it with something rewarding, like cycling or jogging, or even reading a book or two, I would wager a massive swing in mentality.
Again, I know things are easier said than done. I just hope that you can get yourself right before you do anything you cannot repair.
If you need to vent, feel free to PM me mate. I know you probably won't, but the offer, and the respect is and always will be there pal.

It's hard to get a handle on who people really are without actually meeting them but you definitely don't come across how you (currently) view yourself. Folk like the man you describe don't have families or longstanding friendships to 'take a hammer to' so most likely this is rooted in something other than just who you are. I'd try talking to someone. There could be all manner of reasons why you're feeling off-kilter right now other than those you've assumed. Hope you feel better soon in any case mate and sorry if this all sounds a tad pithy, but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. 

Struggling.
Deliberately taking a hammer to long standing relationships, ignoring my family, drinking far too much.
I know I'm doing it, but I'm not sure I care.
I don't think it's mental either, just who I am.

Can’t think what I’d do without these two... they really are the best, as much as I’ve rescued them they’ve rescued me! Anyone struggling I can not recommend a pet enough, gives you responsibility and something to get up for, gives you unconditional love and accepts you for who you are, they really are the best.

Jody Morris is clearly an avid reader of the forum.

Jody Morris is clearly an avid reader of the forum.

Jody Morris is clearly an avid reader of the forum.

Toya and I about to try new seafood joint.?❤️

 

What a coincidence! I happen to be in the Antarctic right now! Look here's proof...

Or in other words... get your knee in or it didn't happen.

This badass is my dog's brother - best working dog winner at Crufts today. I'm actually not a massive fan of Crufts and that kind of dog showing, but my boy is proper champion stock and I'll be cheering 'Dave' on on Sunday where he's up for best in show.

Strangely I am listening to Lil Peep?? even more strange is that I'm loving this one!!! ????
 

People who peer over from the next urinal, and remark on the remarkable length, and indeed girth, of my member, sometimes offering assistance in keeping it clear of the porcelain, forcing me into a cubicle if at all possible.
 
 
 

Chinese chicken noodles with green beans and red pepper.

I can’t stand religion in any form.

I can’t stand religion in any form.

I can’t stand religion in any form.

Ugh. I've gone right off em then.

New album was released today. Only found time to play it the once, but it is a bit of a reversion back to their early days, and a bit more ‘dancey’.  Even if nothing clicks before Ynot you will surely enjoy them - they are a brilliant live band - get yourself up the front. Looks like a really good line-up for the festival.  Enjoy buddy.

Up in the Arctic. Oh yes... 

No wonder Conehead has a smile on his face every Friday morning

Salmon could do with some sauce/juice but, other than that, looks lovely.

Quick salmon stir fry..
 

Full Scottish breakfast today, was spectacular especially the haggis.

Didn't have chance to post last night. Came home from a hard day at work and @coneheadjohn had been very busy!
Home made pizza and garlic bread with cheese and had even baked not one but 2 !!! cakes!!!
A choc fudge and a red velvet! Check this bad boy out!! X???

Roast Pork belly with wholegrain mustard mash, black pudding, roast carrots and red cabbage, all washed down with a glass of sauvignon  blanc.