Bigfella

My wife came into the room whilst I was on my iPad.

“What are you looking at” she said

”I’m looking at cheap flights “

She said excitedly “that’s why I love you” and proceeded to make passionate love to me.

Surprisingly up until that point I didn’t even know she liked darts

8 minutes ago, Moist One said:

Hmmm... Hate to break it to you, well, two things really.

1, either you're colour blind or your camera is faulty

2, the breeder has ripped you off. This doggy is black.

 

Good news however, he looks like a good boy and his very handsome.

His mum was a huge black poodle and his dad a large golden retriever, eight puppies four blond and four black - just preferred the black ones. Also if I had a pound  for every time someone said “he’s a golden doodle? He’s not very golden “ I’d be worth a fortune!

My golden doodle Hector

5 minutes ago, eddie said:

Currently sipping a glass of Hanssens Artisanaal Oude Gueuze. Utterly sublime.

Old geezer?

Just to try and cheer people up this is a birthday photo of my golden retriever/poodle cross (yes I know he’s not very golden) his name is Hector.

On 11/08/2018 at 14:03, sage said:

As we are playing our early 70s rivals, here is a Tommy Cooper joke.

 

 

 

Gambling has brought our family closer together...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We've had to move to a smaller house.

 

 

 

 

And my favourite Tommy Cooper joke-

I went into the attic with the wife yesterday. Filthy, dirty, covered in cobwebs - but she’s good to the kids.

1 hour ago, ViewsFromTheMiddle said:

Spam emails about tax refunds. How stupid do you think I am?

.....also automated calls from “HMRC” saying they are going to have you arrested because you owe tax!

Man goes to see his doctor complaining of a hearing problem.

Doctor - describe the symptoms

Man - Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair

On 16/04/2018 at 19:12, AmericanRam said:

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral.

A man leans in to her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?”.

“No, go right ahead”, the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora”, and sits back down.

"Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot”

Thought I’d read it before!