sheeponacid

4 years ago today I had to have my best friend of 14 years put down... each year I convince myself it will be easier but it never is, people who don't have pets don't understand but I didn't just lose a pet, I lost my best friend, I lost a family member... I know a lot of people find it silly but I can count on one hand the amount of humans I've loved more than her. RIP Anya the rest of today will be hard just like it is every year and probably always will be. 

Just to let you know that Jess passed away a few minutes ago. She had gone downhill rapidly today and we took her to the vets. She was surrounded by love as she went

Been better ?
She's breathing heavily at my feet and we're taking her tomorrow afternoon
Her stomach is distended and she's not eating so we're definitely doing the right thing
But right things often aren't easy

On Friday we had to make the same decision about our 11 year old Cocker Spaniel @dog. Many tears have been shed. The younger one misses his mate, I'm looking around for him on walks and force of habit nearly made me put his tea out tonight. I've just spent an hour reliving memories via photographs of walks taken over the years, particularly since I retired. And I have a new screensaver.
I share your pain. But if there's a small piece of comfort it is that I know it was the correct decision for him.  Not for me perhaps, but certainly for him.  And the memories that he leaves behind are all happy ones not only for me but for the missus and the kids and grand kids for whom he was a significant part of their formative years.  He is remembered with love, joy and laughter as I'm sure your girl will be, and what more could any of us ask?

Just taken her for her penultimate walk to the top of the road. I know that I am doing the right thing
But this is mourning before mourning at our house
She was a rescue dog which my wife bought,. Having the hound kept my sanity and because she needed running saved my health as I needed to run with her
Having a pet is beautiful, but unless it's a tortoise you are destined for a long good bye

Ours is on the way out. The thin balance between enjoying life and suffering has clearly been crossed.
The vet had said it would be quick and he wasn't wrong. Heart disease
She didn't have breakfast this morning, she's not walking. 
Took her to see my folks for the last time this morning
Had her as a rescue dog eleven years ago so she's done well
Taking her to the vet on Wednesday

Doggo update....he's fully mended.
First time at the beach yesterday, wonderful.

I was just speaking to a Chinese drug dealer. He said “Have you see my cocaine?”  I said “Not since he starred in the Italian Job.”

Update: Vet called. He's made it through the night. Hoping to take his tracheotomy tube out later today.
Much like supporting our DCFC, it's the hope that hurts!
 

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

Groundhog Day. A classic. 9/10. 

Derbyshire lamb beats anyone’s lamb bah none.

Every cast member apart from SpongeBob himself.
Did you save him for the washing up?

I was at work the other day - stacking packets of washing powder in the aisle, when a girl I once went out with came up to me and punched me square in the face...
"What was that for??" I asked
"You lied to me and told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No - I said I was part of an Ariel display team"
 

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says “ Is this stool taken?”

Lamb Jalfrezi very spicy with naga and Birdseye Chillies, all washed down with a glass of Mango IPA.

Love this spot. Who says England has no beautiful countryside left in the far South

I've had breakfast in worse spots.

It's been a grueling, but exciting week.  Paid a deposit on this 85 square meter property in Costa Blanca South Cabo Roig Spain, but we don't have the keys yet because the real estate company is dragging it's feet, as is the norm in Spain as i have come to accept.  So we have been clearing the front part and fixing what needs fixing, but that job is only half done.  An Irish man has rented the place for the past 8 years.  He never fixed anything, apparently spent most of his time in a chair smoking and drinking, so all plastic materials need removing inside and there is some light repair work needed as well as complete refurnishing.  Am not counting any chickens yet until signature is completed but we are not worried as we have a human tornado for a lawyer, probably the best in the business in that area.  i will return to Spain hopefully within two weeks to complete repairs, furnish and install appliances and then we have a couple waiting to rent it from us for a year.  We need to do that as we are extending ourselves financially a bit.  After that, it will be completely paid for.  We got it at a very good price indeed.  Great community, good neighbors and fantastically situated within walking distance to beach and everything of interest.  We are so tired, but very happy.  What shall we call it?  i like Casa Jenn as that is my wife's name, but my good friend suggests Lion's Den because of the gate figures.  Without his help and his gracious wife we would never have been able to pull this off.  Wonderful friends and only a few doors down the lane.
 
 

I've tried posting a few times in here, but it just didn't sit right each time I've wrote it out.
As some of you know I did the cancer research relay for life last year, my grandma was diagnosed over 2 years ago with a very rare form of cancer. She went through all the treatments, operations, chemotherapy etc and was told she was in remission last April, she joined me at the relay and did the survivors lap and had a great day of it. However in September she took a turn for the worse, she went for some tests and  found out the cancer had returned very aggressively. Over the next 6 weeks she deteriorated rapidly. But as the strong woman she had always been she battled to the very end. There were days where we were told to expect the worse, yet she kept fighting and holding on. She eventually passed away peacefully in her sleep. 
At the same time my wife's grandma was on the same ward, in the next room. We were told to expect the worse, she battled on for a few months but lost her battle at the start of this year. 
Then this morning my wife's grandad has passed away (from her mother's side, grandma was from her dad's side) he has been suffering from dementia for the last 6 years.
To say the last 6-8 months have been poo is a bit of an understatement.
I feel like this is something I've needed to write and down but not known where. 

I'm sure this has been covered before but people who video moments on their phone that they should just enjoy live. Last night went to a concert and when they did their most famous song you couldn't see the stage for people holding up phones. Why not just enjoy the moment rather than losing it only so you can watch a hazy recording once (maybe never).

Tandoori Leg of Lamb with Garlic and Turmeric potatoes, all washed down with a glass of Mango Mash IPA.

BS about emissions 
So the edict is that every car manufacturer has to lower the average emissions of its “fleet” to a certain level by a certain date or face fines. ... good idea. Stimulates invention and the development of more efficient engines. I’m all for it in principle. 
thing is it’s diffucult to meet the objectives for one reason or another ( that’s a different story ) ... so if you are Fiat/Chrysler you do a deal with Tesla, pay them some dosh so that you can count some of their cars as part of your “fleet” thus avoiding fines. 
Environmental gain = zero
cow boy statistic generators = 1
What a load of BS. Oh yes and aren’t we clever .. our emissions are falling because we are all nice green and responsible and have an environmental policy in our misssion statement. ....No we just stopped having heavy industry (which co incidentally uses a lot of energy ?) and sent all the dirty stuff to India, China and Vietnam.
Far to much of the environment industry is about statistics and how to bend them to suit the story and the public face you want to portray. 
I want to be greener cleaner and less wasteful but loath being conned by spread sheet making wordsmiths who know little or nothing about science, industry and manufacturing in a practical sense.