Mucker1884

Got any pics?

Same sex life as me mate

To relieve boredom:
Every Saturday I send my neighbour Tony, flowers with message: "I miss you lots"
Then I sit in the back garden with a beer and listen to his wife give him the third degree.

Such a decent bloke... and yet so far removed from the facts!   LOL!

I'm building a new factory to manufacture vibrators
Asked the bank for a business loan and my bank manager questioned whether there was enough demand for my product to warrant a whole factory
I told him - If i build it....they will come

I don't know why you insisted on sitting so close to the "unofficial" path myself. Surely you could have moved a bit further away on such a big field?

Lots of new cyclists about... adults and kids.  (Yes... IT is obvious!)
Ok, so maybe it ain't trendy to have/use a bell, but FFS, with all that wobbling, swerving, and kids forgetting to use their brakes, give yourselves a sporting chance of keeping out of A&E whilst they've got better things to do... WEAR A DUCKING HELMET!   

Lots of new cyclists about... adults and kids.  (Yes... IT is obvious!)
Ok, so maybe it ain't trendy to have/use a bell, but FFS, with all that wobbling, swerving, and kids forgetting to use their brakes, give yourselves a sporting chance of keeping out of A&E whilst they've got better things to do... WEAR A DUCKING HELMET!   

When I look at certain cars, their body shape, their stance at the kerbside, the way they react, you just feel, hold on a minute, this car needs pulling down a peg or two.
So I’d probably say that about all the newer black cars.  You know, it’s about, when you are struggling to get to a car wash, and your car is susceptible to heavy layers of dust in this dry and breezy weather, and is suffering a sticky patch, it’s about going back to basics, being grey... or even blue.  Working hard to stay that bit cleaner.

I wouldn't say they were minute.  Bite-size, more lik... oh... hang on...

BBQ Minute steak and bacon rolls.

Get well soon, Jesse.
 

I have done nothing but eat since the beginning of lockdown.

My wife said to me, "You weren't even listening were you?"
I  thought, "That's a strange way to start a conversation!"

I made them last week. When I finished I had a spoon of chutney, 50g of spinach and a washer left over!

What's Mr T's favourite yoghurt? 
A petit filous. 

I tret me sen for me bothdee ?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-C49RG90-49-inch-Ultrawide-Monitor/dp/B07NL27TCK/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=samsung+c49&qid=1589303769&sr=8-2
It is absolutely stunning ?

The robbing gits!
You'd at least expect the bottles to be full!   

It sounds big in old money, but in reality, that ain't even 15 metres!  
Hardly worth @maxjam going all Harry Enfield on us, is it!   ?
 

A forty nine foot monitor?!?

750 bog rolls.

Hair Trimmers... Haven't had a home trim since the kids were mid teens, so about 20 years.
1 x crate (6 x 600ml bottles) of Teisseire (That's the brand) Sirop de mente... well, it don't look like we're gonna get back to France any time soon, and I was about to run out from the 4 bottles I brought back in September!)
3 x of those neck tube/snood things... they'll be my new washable/re-usable face masks, when they arrive (ordered yesterday).
Real veg... needs cutting/chopping and stuff, but hey, there's not much else to do!
Real meat/poultry... who knew dead animals didn't come ready cut, prepared and seasoned, in a foil tray with warming instruction!
Loads of yogurt and fruit... but sadly no sausage or bacon... B1tch!
2 x sheets (1400 x 630mm?) 9mm plyboard... Bury those kitchen pipes, mofo!
New replacement cordless drill/driver... Previous charger died on me... left a screw sticking out for a whole 2 days... could have been a nasty accident, but we both survived, thankfully.  We'll probably laugh about it one day.  What a story for the great grandkids though, eh!  "Surrounded by a deadly virus, and then to cap it all, we could have got a nasty nick from that screw that was left sticking out for a whole two days..." type thing!

Got bored with nothing to do on weekends so I bought a 2.700m door and pulled the back of the house down.

Me and my mates are constantly laughing at all the things we’ve bought, and almost bought before seeing sense! 
 
so what have you bought in the last couple of months that you probably wouldn’t have otherwise had things been normal? 
 
- box of noodles (ko lee bang bang chicken green curry, as yet unopened)
- epiphone SG electric guitar
- tefal grill pan
- beard oil (wouldn’t have a beard!)
- stanley scraper (for cleaning the mess my tefal pan creates)
- various spices and spicy sauces (about 30!!)
- at least four bottles of vodka (Reyka & JJ Whitley) 
- two guitar music/song books, capo, new strings
- brita water filter tank and six filters!
- power bank car jump starter
- pencil crayons and maths set (with all the plastic set squares etc)
- microHDMI to HDMI adaptors
- new pair of portable landline phones
- new duvet and pillow case set
- disney+ 
 
there’s probably more that hasn’t sprung to mind!! ?