Bontddu Ram

Dan might not have been everyone’s cup of tea, none of us are, but he was harmless. He just didn’t understand some boundaries or points of views as most of us would. Several people have messaged me to acknowledge they weren’t always as patient or polite as they could have been. There are no hard feelings about that all. There’s a difference between impatience or pulling someone up when needed, than purposely being cruel to someone. 

Thanks Cisse, My Daughter is the architect but the idea was mine, I just thought it would be a nice gesture for B4 to look over PP as the Giant of a Fan he...IS! 😉 ☺️

I was one of those who met you on the pitch after the match and said a few words. I think it's only natural for you to feel a little down today. It has been a whirlwind few weeks and emotions have been high. I hope you do start to feel your spirits lift soon and I'm sure they will. Take care of yourself and I'm sure we're all looking forward to reading more of your posts very soon. 
#BeMoreB4

Please, please, please, take some time to grieve over the summer and look after yourself 

Thank you for sharing that with us as it really is a comfort to know Dan passed peacefully, im sad for our loss as fans that knew him personally or on here but my heart breaks for you and your mum and dad 😢

We don’t know the reason for it but Daniel just stopped breathing in his sleep. The ambulance crew got a very faint heartbeat, so he went onto life support in ICU but he died two days later. Nothing showed up on hospital tests or the digital autopsy, so the coroner stated natural causes. He had a cold prior to it but had said he was feeling better. It seems that he would felt very little if anything when he stopped breathing, which is some comfort. The night before he had been at the Crewe away match and had fish and chips for his dinner. I’m glad he was doing something he loved on his last evening. Today is very tough 💔

Obviously someone you are slightly poorer for not having come across on here , at pride park or away days all over the country for many years and I don’t mean that in a horrible way to you , he was a top lad who brought a smile to the face of everyone lucky enough to meet or interact with him 👍

He was always going to be a big part of yesterday so I felt I really wanted to see you and your dad before the game.
 I knew the general area of where you would be but within seconds of going through the turnstile there you were, it was as if someone had ushered me there 😉

B4 was Daniel Beavis. A lifelong DCFC supporter who died suddenly in November, just hours after attending the Crewe away match. He was only 38 and had held a season ticket for almost 30 years. B4 was his username on this forum where he was well know for his unique take on all things DCFC and his kindness to others. Despite the situation of the club or inconsistency of results, he was unbelievably positive. Dan had learning difficulties and despite what he may have typed on here at times, he was actually quite vulnerable and his world was quite small. His whole world revolved around his beloved Derby County. His death has been a shock to us but his passion and love for DCFC has left an effect on many who knew him, in person or virtually. He was also my brother. 
 

B4 Was there...☺️

This was Dan at Wembley at the last play offs for Derby. Seems appropriate to repost it today 🐏❤️🐏

How’s everyone feeling today? It was real high at the beginning of the match and the second half. I did have walk around the pitch where I found some of my new DCFC friends. I shed a tear for B4 and sprinkled a few more ashes on the centre spot with my dad. We had several people come up to us to say hello and pass on condolences and congratulations for B4, which was lovely. 
I don’t want to sound like a party pooper but I’m feeling really flat today. Watching the football and the excitement of the race for promotion has been a welcome distraction and a tribute to Dan. It might just be my body and emotions telling me I need a breather over the summer. 
Maybe we need a thread with our highlights of the season and celebration pics? You all amazing at picking me up. I saw a post on another thread earlier that said ‘when are we signing Mbappe?’ 😂 That made me smile 

A day i will treasure for the rest of my life. Train down from Leeds was absolutely teeming with West Yorkshire based Rams, plenty of beers & laughs on board. Then a few beers pre-match in the Alex before heading down to PP via that amazing new mural by the underpass courtesy of Popside Fanatics.
Atmosphere was every bit as electric as I'd expected & brilliant to get that early goal. What a way for Max to sign off his career here. Ok Carlisle played some neat stuff thereafter but was never seriously worried. As soon as we scored our second & we heard Bolton were losing, we knew we were up. Pitch invasion was absolute magic, scenes that will stay with me forever.
After the humiliations this club has suffered in recent years, we deserved today. But a massive thank you to Paul Warne, the players & the coaching staff...heroes the lot of you. Biggest thank you though goes to the man who deseevedly got his minutes applause...David Clowes, you took this club from the grip of extinction & restored its pride. You deserve the freedom of this city.
P.s. was brilliant seeing the club's tribute to B4...his legend will always live on. Hope you enjoyed looking down today pal 👍
Absolutely love you Derby County. My club 🖤

What a day. I love everything about this club so much - imagine if it had gone. So happy to see David Clowes enjoying himself so much.  The standing ovation for him was just fabulous.
I cant really remember anything on the pitch after we got the second. I was worried we would run on the pitch before the end of 90mins (EFL!) - well done to the fellow fans who stopped those who were tempted.
The end was perfect - the pitch celebration was just that - so good natured and perfect that the players were loving it. A trophy - not sure why but again it just worked perfectly.
What scenes. Will never forget it. 
And finally just thank you David Clowes. And thank you Paul Warne. Met him last week after Cambridge and am now totally under his spell. His hugging Max as he came off and interview on Radio Derby discussing Max and their dads sent me over the edge. He obviously cares so so much and sounded so shattered and I hope he gets to recharge properly. 
People may say we're over-celebrating but has a promotion ever meant so much? 
 

We had no idea this was happening and didn’t see it on the screens 

The lads did it buddy. You never lost faith in them, Derby's No 1 Fan.

The best we’ll ever have. Top man.

Today was bitter-sweet in many ways, as I kept thinking of Daniel's pure, unadulterated joy on being part of this promotion day. 
Wonderful that the Club acknowledged his contribution,  and B4 will always be part of our heritage now.
🐏⚽️🐏⚽️🐏⚽️

Sadly this will be my last match today. My first was in 1956 as a 13year old, My dad used to take me before that but he stopped going when we went down to the third division north. My mate and I would catch the 12 oclock bus from Melbourne and be the first in the ground. We stood in the Normanton end pigeon loft, I think it was 3 shilling. To this day I remember that team. We were champions in 1957 and I ran onto the pitch after the last match against Southport, Ray Straw scored 37 goals that season, The next ten years saw me start work, get married and have two children, I had moved to Derby, and after my family, the Rams were the most important thing in my life I never missed a home game in those ten years even though we were only an average second division side. And then in 1966 after England won the world cup my mate and I decided to have a season ticket, Little did we know what would happen that season, I was at work one day and a Rams supporting work mate told me we had signed a player from Bradford Park Avenue, his name was Kevin Hector I'd never heard of him but he was without doubt the most wonderful footballer to grace the Baseball Ground I had ever seen, and because of this we wanted to see more players like him which led to Tim Ward getting the sack and BC becoming Manager, what followed was ten years of unbelievable success and enjoyment. And then things started to go wrong off and on the pitch and I stopped being a season ticket holder during Peter Taylors time as manager, i still loved The Rams of course and when I turned 65 and retired my old mate from Melbourne and I bought season tickets again. But sadly covid left my best friend of 80 years with a dementia problem and he know no longer knows me. For the last two seasons I have been going alone to the match but its just not the same for me. Therefore I am calling it a day, as I write this I am welling up as I will do this afternoon. Thank you Derby County for every thing I will love you till I die.     

Alright, who organised the Be More B4 message on the boards pitch side? 🥲

I have no words.
All I am left thinking is that you and Leanne sound exactly the type of people to be bringing up children, whether that’s your great nephews, your own or both.
 I found your story very moving and I really hope this story has a happy ending for you. 
Thank you for sharing it with us. 
 

Pull up a chair, this will be a long one.
Me and my wife Leanne have been together 8 years and 5 months, we have been trying for a baby for around 6/7 years. Nothing happened. Leanne has been desperate for our own little baby and seeing friends around us start families has been hard for her.
It’s been hard for myself as I later found out it was probably my fault following a sperm test.
Just before Covid we went to explore IVF options where I was given a sperm test, the results were basically I have swimmers, just not enough to put me in the “normal” range. Not impossible I could get Leanne pregnant, just harder than it would be for others.
Covid landed, lockdown, all non essential treatment and hospital appointments were cancelled, so our doctors asked us to come back once life returned to normal.
Fast forward to August 2023, we returned to the doctors knowing the clock was ticking, Leanne turns 40 this year and would already be classified as a “geriatric”, whilst myself a slightly younger Des O’Connor.
Anyway, they started testing Leanne, she was all clear, I was given another tube to fill and arrange an appointment with the hospital. Contacting them I was told there is such a backlog, we would be waiting until the new year, side note, we’re almost April and I’m still yet to receive a call back.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, October 27th our great nephews moved in with us under an emergency kinship fostering placement, since then we have been undergoing various assessments and training.
We go to the fostering panel to be confirmed foster parents on April 11th.
We was also willing to go down the SGO (Special guardianship order) route which would see them stay with us until they were 18.
Now, this is an important bit. We live in a small 2 bedroom house, me and Leanne looked at it and said maybe this is our calling, maybe we just weren’t meant to have our own and threw ourselves into the boys creating a special bond.
Monday 12th February, 2024, Leanne woke me up in tears saying we need to talk. My eyes had barely adjusted to the daylight before a positive pregnancy test was thrust into my face.
What. The. f***.
We quickly went to Morrison’s to buy another one, just to double check, this time a digital one. Both ClearBlue so super accurate.
The pregnancy was confirmed, 2-3 weeks it said.
We hadn’t bothered to be “careful” as we figured it was never going to happen naturally, but it had so now we was left with a huge dilemma. The boys were meant to be our future now. But it’s a 2 bedroom house.
It completely took the shine off what should have been the happiest time of our lives, Leanne’s family were also not fully invested into the joy with concern over what would happen to the boys.
After a few emotional discussions into the early mornings, exploring all possibilities, we ultimately decided to let social services know that we cannot be considered as long term placement if needed.
At this point and to this day, their mum is still waiting on her assessment to see if they can ever be returned.
We could not abort, we could not move as we have a small amount of debt that would prevent us getting a new mortgage for a much larger house.
March 9th, we visited the midwife who dated the pregnancy from Leanne’s last recorded period December 18th. A 12 week scan was booked for 21st March however she was told that she would be 13 weeks by then.
Sickness, tender breasts, the lot, this was all very real.
The wait for the 21st March seemed like forever.
The weekend prior, Leanne had very very light spotting and discharge which freaked us both out, quick call to the midwife and told not to worry, just come in if it’s heavy bleeding and she’s in pain.
On the 20th, I had a tattoo appointment, super excited and determined to bring some positivity to a stressed out wife, I get “Daddy” inked on my neck, at the neckline of a t shirt.  I was uncontrollably excited by this point.
Next morning we go in, soon called into the Ultrasound room, I bounce in rubbing my hands joking just the one please.
Monitor boots up, Leanne laid back with the biggest smile on her face unable to see the monitor.
I look up and the gestation sac is empty.
All life inside me just melted.
The midwife asked when we last took a pregnancy test, to which Leanne responded and was then asked if she would be happy to have an internal scan.
Whilst the midwife left the room I was in a daze, taking pictures of the screens.
Internal scan complete, we was simply told to get ourselves ready and we will be shown to the counselling room.
Both in tears, we was led away and left to sit in this room for half hour or so before another midwife appeared giving us 3 options.
Let it come out naturally.
Take medication to force it out which can be super painful.
Or surgery, which is a vacuum basically which sucks it out.
Period of silence followed and we was shown out the side door, absolutely devastated.
We sat in the car park at a complete loss. I had the announcement board ready to go, bought the little lamb rattle, we had it all planned and it was over.
After an hour we went home, packed our bags and basically ran away for the weekend leaving the boys with their Nan. We couldn’t face being “parents” surrounded by toys at this time.
Work were great, signed us both off with paid leave.
The weekend was spent crying, drinking, walking, crying.
We returned Monday, still an emotional mess but able to function at least.
The hospital rang asking if we had made a decision, on Tuesday Leanne booked the surgery for the Wednesday. That Tuesday night went to visit a friend who was questioning the dates, could they be wrong, is it earlier than we think, ask for a second scan to confirm.
On looking at the scan, the gestation sac was 1D 25mm, 2D 29mm and 3D 29mm. I’m googling sac sizes at 1am and see that is 8 weeks. 5 weeks earlier than what we was told.
Leanne’s now questioning if she forgot to record a period I said look, we’ll ask for a confirmation scan to be sure.
That morning, we go into SDEC (Same day emergency care), nurse calls us in, Leanne breaks down so I take over asking for a confirmation scan. They were great and said of course, booking us in for April 2nd.
I would have declined the 1st for obvious reasons.
We’re sat here now 99% believing we’ve lost the baby, however we need that 1% of doubt clearing away with this confirmation scan on Tuesday. Even a scan at an earlier date should have shown more than just the gestation sac and yolk sac.
I’m back to work on Monday, needing some normality back in my life, although Tuesday after the scan won’t be much fun.
This week that’s just gone, Wednesday 27th, the Boys mum had her assessment heard at panel, we’re now just waiting to hear from the social services to see how that went and would they be returned or not.
We have some difficult decisions ahead if she doesn’t, as now Leanne’s “oven has been warmed”, we’re desperate more than ever for our own little baby, yet fully aware Leanne turns 40 in a couple of months and I’m 42 myself.
It really needs to happen now, or not at all. Seeing Cameron Diaz having her second at 51 years old the other week, not sure how I feel as the old you get the more our bodies begin to tire and develop issues where running after children becomes more difficult.
All family options for the boys have been exhausted, so it’s either us, their mum or adoption. Being 2 and 3 they are the prime age to be adopted yet we would never see them again and that would f’in hurt, especially if me and Leanne are not successful in having our own.
I'm sharing this as men don't like to talk and when 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, many men will have been in similar situations and struggle in silence. Whilst the woman will ultimately bare the most pain and need the most support, it still f'in hurts....a lot.
So yeah, coming on here reading how Paul Warne is a terrible football manager, being 2nd is pure luck and all the rest of the negative hyperbole just hasn’t been at the top of the list to absorb. 
More to life than football has never been more true.
You know the old saying though, behind every successful forum owner, behind him is a team of amazing moderators. Big thanks to them for carrying the load whilst I spend time supporting the wife.

Oh yes, we most definitely are! 🐏🐏🐏

B4 , we are after them son , we are after them ,
hope referring to B4 in the present is not upsetting ( if it is I will not do it again) but to my mind his energy is still with us and all around this forum , derby county and us derby fans lucky enough to have been touched by him