Sith Happens Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 13 hours ago, Tyler Durden said: Went to a bar in town when at Uni who were advertising a £1 Tequila Slammer evening. After about ten of them in quick succession and not feeling any ill effects got turkey legs in the toilets crawled into a taxi had to stop half a mile from home to get out and spew up and chucked the driver twenty quid for a 3 pound ride just to get out before soiling his car. Retched up for the next 24 hours. Never drunk Tequila again in my life. Not sure if this counts. It awful stuff but I still go down that path at times as it seems like a good idea for some reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanish Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 19 hours ago, Rev said: We used to stand in a circle with a dart each, throw them straight up in the air and dare not to move. Straight in above the ankle, didn't hurt much though. Until the next day, when my foot was the size of a balloon, quite hard to make a believable lie to explain it, got me the wet tea towel treatment. Water boarding, gosh you had it tough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 8 minutes ago, Spanish said: Water boarding, gosh you had it tough Not far off. I once was escorted home by some friendly policemen, after some friends and I made a den in a derelict building. Once they'd left, my mum asked me to fetch her a cane from the garden. I judged this request to be against my best interests, and told her to fetch it herself. She promptly wet a tea towel and proceeded to beat me with it, and the more I laughed the more furious she got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Sagan Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 16 hours ago, Tyler Durden said: Went to a bar in town when at Uni who were advertising a £1 Tequila Slammer evening. After about ten of them in quick succession and not feeling any ill effects got turkey legs in the toilets crawled into a taxi had to stop half a mile from home to get out and spew up and chucked the driver twenty quid for a 3 pound ride just to get out before soiling his car. Retched up for the next 24 hours. Never drunk Tequila again in my life. Not sure if this counts. 14 hours ago, Shipley Ram said: Tequila is nasty, I've never been able to drink it after being very sick. I can never rid myself of the sensation of tequila flavoured sick being vomited out of my nose. 14 hours ago, Gee SCREAMER !! said: Everyone's got that drink. I can pretty much drink till the cows come home with two exceptions. Gin which is the one that makes me fine on minute, then obliterated a second later and southern comfort which made me very sick the couple of times I had it with other stuff. You normally work this stuff out after a year of going out which is for the best ? 5 hours ago, uttoxram75 said: Whisky and orange. Trying to impress a girl at a house party, looking cool and mature sipping this foulest of beverages whilst my peers were busy spraying ceilings with Party sevens, I ended up spraying a bathroom with the contents of my stomach. The smell of the whisky/orange combination emitting from my nose and mouth possibly led to the failure of my 17 year old self to engage the lucky lady...... 2 hours ago, Sith Happens said: I'm the same with aniseed, used to drink red witch in my youth for some reason I cant imagine, cider, pernod and black, tasted just as bad coming out as going in. if I'm in Turkey or Greece and get a complimentary raki or ouzo it's not good. I really felt I'd finally arrived in my career, with a new job and an invite to a posh company sales meeting in Bournemouth. Greg Rusedski was even staying in the same hotel. I was sharing a room with another new employee, Steve, who was very well behaved and went to bed early. Not I! After the meetings finished the cute Marketing Director invited me (and a few others) to the bar for a night of tequila slammers. I'd never had them before. OMFG! Well into double figures. Eventually I crawled away and was sick like I'd never been sick before. Apparently, the next morning Steve went down to breakfast in a panic. He told the company people he didn't know what to do, but he thought "Carl is dead!" He'd tried to rouse me for breakfast, but there was no sign of life. He didn't think I was breathing. They're all running around in a blind panic wondering what's happened and what to do when I calmly walk into the hotel restaurant, very much in need of a full English. But I have never drunk tequila again and even the thought of it writing this makes me feel ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Sagan Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 On 11/03/2021 at 18:28, ramit said: Of my numerous self inflicted injuries, i shall limit the count to my right hand. On a fishing vessel on net fishing we were getting a full net of thorny crabs and jellyfish. i was smashing crabs to clean the net while my face was burning from jellyfish splatter and suddenly became enraged and proceeded to karate chop the steel lined railing, fracturing the bone in my hand. Never went to doctor, but only some movements hurt a lot, like shaking hands with someone. On sea again, this time a bigger fishing boat, was cutting the plastic straps from frozen bait boxes. i was cutting towards me like an idiot and a big wave thrashed the boat about suddenly, i stumbled backwards, the strap cut free and i slashed a knuckle on my hand to the bone with the rusty knife. i stood there in disbelief for a moment observing my milk white sinew. We had four days left of our trip and the captain refused to set me ashore and demanded i work in the fish slime. A day later my hand blew up like a balloon and i couldn't sleep from the pain, so i tied my hand with a string to the ceiling light to keep it raised so i could sleep a little. On the second day the captain set me ashore during the middle of the night in a town named Grindavík and a nurse opened up the wound to squeeze amazing amounts of foul smelling puss out my hand and then sewed it shut with 12 stitches, adding that would not hold and i would need hospital to not lose my finger. The captain would have none of it, so i had to endure a couple more days. Ended up having to sue the fishing company, for they would not pay me sick leave. i almost lost my finger, the bone had turned purple and a couple of young doctors at the hospital were about to amputate it when i yelled out for a third opinion. Luckily an experienced doctor was strolling by and came to see what the commotion was about and ordered them to apply a salt solution daily for a week and then amputate if it was not getting better. Third time i was at home drunk as a skunk and wanting to make a grilled cheese sandwich. i couldn't find the cheese cutter, so i used the sharpest knife in the house and cut towards me. The knife slipped and i slashed my hand open from finger to palm. Strolled down to the emergency room in the night, but they wouldn't let me in, so i began knocking on the window with my bloody hand painting it for free for them. i was quickly let in. It was 24 stitches. Yes, i have been known to be an idiot. There's men, there's real men and then there's @ramit. So glad you kept the finger. Ouch and then some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Brolly Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 Watching Derby week in week out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 Getting Married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 When I was a kid I was off sick from school around xmas time. I remember watching ‘Good Afternoon’. It was a women’s programme usually fronted by Mavis Nicholson or Mary Parkinson. It was often expectedly hilariously funny. one week they were showing women at home how to french polish their dining room tables using meths and wire wool. I often wondered many dining room tables were wrecked as a result of that one programme, and what sort of domestic scenes unfolded as husbands arrived home. this particular day they were examining the safety of Christmas tree lights. They pointed out that many had a two pin connector, and the dangerous ones had the pins leading to the plug and the power socket. The holes should be on that side, and the pins should be on the side with the cable and the lights. I thought....I wonder what ours are? so I went to the xmas tree and undid the connection. Sure enough two pins just like they said. And our two pins were on the dangerous power side. But surely that means....if I touch those two pins, I’ll get a AAAAAGGGGHH AGGGHHHHAAAAGGGHHH AAAAAAAAGGGGHH ducking EEEELLLLEEECCCTTROCUTEDDDD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Durden Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 I banged myself on the headboard in excitement when I dreamt we had scored a goal then rapidly realised when I woke up it was all a dream...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dean (hick) Saunders Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 On 11/03/2021 at 16:00, maxjam said: A long, long time ago I had to work the occasional night shift, one hot afternoon in summer I decided to mow the lawn despite being extremely tired. Halfway through the job my new (electric) mower packed up so I decided to take the top off and have a look. I messed about with a few wires and recoiled in shock. I thought to myself thats weird it doesn't usually do that (I previously had a manual push mower) and went back and had another fiddle... After I shocked myself again I suddenly realised what I'd done and walked quickly into my house, sat down and began pinching myself to make sure I was still alive... ? Similar. Cut cable of hedge trimmer (with trimmer). Proceeded to repair said trimmer and got very near to the end of the process and thought “why does it feel like someone is flicking me in the hand”. Carried on for a bit until the penny dropped. Suprising thing was (a) how much I was able to handle the live wires without a shock and (b) how it does not hurt very much. (definitely not advocating doing this though. Electricity is hazardous kids) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 Larking around as a kid aged 11, I was pushed off the side of the 5 metre diving board and hit - or rather, skimmed - the 3 metre diving board on my way to the pool. A broken collar bone was the least of my worries - the next 3 months saw skin grafts and daily treatment at hospital, having dressings changed where I had lost skin from my left hip, all the way up to my armpit and the whole length of my arm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubbs Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 Fell off a bunk bed whilst asleep in a sleeping bag flat on my face, on wooden floorboards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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