Bilbo Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I must confess, I'm a 20 minute, catch up with the news, play a bit of candy crush kind of guy. The way I see it, it's the only room in the house with a lock on, so make the most of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozza Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 loose , not too stiff .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I don't actuallly like my poo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 With the power of chillies behind it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I moderate on the bog. its a **** job, but someone's got to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Shaken not stirred, can't stand **** stirrers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 The single large turd, with the second wipe a formality. Bizarrely I manage this more often abroad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenportram Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Pootopia - you heard it land but its not in the pan And tge rarer version - you wipe but the paper is clean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKRam Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I notice Bilbo all the replies to date are from heavy weight posters. I'm trying to link that to this thread somehow ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimRam Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I hate doing number 2's at work or other peoples homes in fact cannot remember last time I did. Only do so if an emergency! Has to be in private at my own home. No disturbances! Oh and I have to have something to read as well. Have you ever tried to have a number 2 without something to read? It's not much fun I can tell you! Just to finish off...isn't that feeling great when you have had a number 2? Bliss and you fell a whole lot better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I had one at the iPro on Tuesday night, now that was an experience, hovering over the puddles of piss after a few pints I was like an American B52 bomber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenportram Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 15 minutes ago, David said: I had one at the iPro on Tuesday night, now that was an experience, hovering over the puddles of piss after a few pints I was like an American B52 bomber. Did you miss the target? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 12 minutes ago, davenportram said: Did you miss the target? I did. Thankfully it didn't get chance to explode, several bits of bog roll later it was dropped on the intended target. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 30 minutes ago, David said: I had one at the iPro on Tuesday night, now that was an experience, hovering over the puddles of piss after a few pints I was like an American B52 bomber. Having to have a poo whilst out = bad planning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 16 minutes ago, davenportram said: Did you miss the target? I thought Cluster bombs were outlawed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 4 minutes ago, Boycie said: Having to have a poo whilst out = bad planning. Or a bad diet. Motorway services are not the healthiest of places for a snack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Kevin Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Best one ever was on a Saturday night been out with a guy and his wife to a charity do, he was trying to get me to work for him .To cut a long story short I had disgraced myself a few times that evening and walked into Notts city centre for a kebab leaving my wife, some friends ,and this guy and is wife to meet me later. I had my kebab and felt the immediate need for a no2 so I went into the Royal Hotel and I am sat there pissed with the bog doors open having conversations with all and sundry when the said party turns up . My wife turns to my mate and say's get him out of there and is less than amused , got a cab home and woke up to a very frosty wife on the Sunday morning ,needless to say I never did join the new company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 2 hours ago, TimRam said: I hate doing number 2's at work or other peoples homes in fact cannot remember last time I did. Only do so if an emergency! Has to be in private at my own home. No disturbances! Oh and I have to have something to read as well. Have you ever tried to have a number 2 without something to read? It's not much fun I can tell you! Just to finish off...isn't that feeling great when you have had a number 2? Bliss and you fell a whole lot better! my eyes are usually too watery to read! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKRam Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 5 hours ago, TimRam said: I hate doing number 2's at work or other peoples homes in fact cannot remember last time I did. Only do so if an emergency! Has to be in private at my own home. No disturbances! Oh and I have to have something to read as well. Have you ever tried to have a number 2 without something to read? It's not much fun I can tell you! Just to finish off...isn't that feeling great when you have had a number 2? Bliss and you fell a whole lot better! I have reading material, almost a mini library in my downstairs loo including 'Derby County Miscellany' which is always worth an extra minute or two..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanRam Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Always have something to read (Magazine, book, etc.) or flip on radio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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