Gypsy Ram

Little boy goes up to his dad and asks him what the difference is between theoretically and realistically .The dad says go and ask your mum and sister if they would sleep with someone for a million pounds .
Little lad trots off and asks his mum and sister the question. He goes back "Dad they both said yes they would" .
"There you go then son theoretically we are millionaires  realistically we are living with a couple of tarts". 

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

I have just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. 
I'll let you know.

It had all gone,  then this. 

Central Park.
Was last week but I wanna show off.

At a high school wrestling meet watching my high school and 3 others

If it was fine for most people then the problem might be on your end, if it was on the clubs end then every single person watching would also experience the same issues. Drop websiteqa@dcfc.co.uk an email next time you have a problem. 

The last few streams after Middlesbrough seem to have gone well for people i thought? When was that last game your tried to watch? 

Villa, Derby, Leeds, Fulham and one other I think. A couple of teams decided not to do it at all though. Teams like Leeds and Villa have had big internal media teams for years, though. 
Dunno what will happen when we get promoted to prem - no games will be allowed to be shown on RamsTV live at all then!

The new fella on Radio Derby seems ok.
Owens replacement, so not off topic.

In the land of the infidel with Christian people...

First tee at Blackburn Golf Club. No winter league today so back home for decorating duties. 

Out walking the hounds.

About to make a big dang snowman?

They look piste!
Come on, the pun was obvious, there for the taking

You all look off your tits!

Luton? 

In the land of the infidel with Christian people...

In the land of the infidel with Christian people...

In the land of the infidel with Christian people...

Anyone else having problems today? Using the app, it was fine before kick off now it stops every ten seconds, kicks me out and takes forever to get back in again

Erm, pass.
I mean it’s down to what you prefer. 8 Plus is a much larger phone than the X, if that’s your thing go for that as the internals are almost identical. 
X will cost you a couple hundred more.
It’s said that sensible people avoid first gen products though, wait for the next model which irons out the kinks. 

Discount? I wish, if you're with Barclays you can get 5% cashback when purchasing through their website. 

Fair enough but nowadays if you want to stick with just Google you get vast amounts integrated out of the box (chrome of course is Google's as is Maps and Keep is the notes package and there's tons more - no music but I just use YouTube which of course is Google's too). And if you want it to everything syncs between phone/laptop/tablet and (android) telly!

Will that ever happen? (seriously - I have no idea on that)
And even if it could, what's not to love about android and it's cusomisability and free apps? Doesn't a techie lad like yourself not feel constrained in the straitjacket of iOS? And isn't Apple's closed ecosystem a betrayal of the Web - philosophically surely open source is the way to be? And even Macworld admits of Google Assistant vs Siri "its capabilities seem far more advanced thanks to contextual understanding of language that allows follow up questions to initial queries": http://www.macworld.co.uk/feature/iosapps/siri-vs-google-assistant-3659249/
A problem for Apple is that if you want to do amazing interesting work in the California tech industry that might change the world you'll be at Google or Tesla or SpaceX or similar. Or else you could go to Apple and do a tiny tweak on how an Apple watch works. So they don't have the calibre of people for genuine innovation any more.