GboroRam

Intermittently. Unless it's a Man Utd day. ?

Women who don't give my ball back when it lands in their garden.
 

Unnecessary packaging. When you buy a USB stick and the box is big enough to hold the encyclopedia brittanica. 

Can we switch this to guess where Revildevil is?
I will start off with Ingoldmells.
 

@GboroRam I would give you the Android fix but the Samsung phone I have has gone in for it's second repair in 6 weeks

I've noticed for a while that when I'm typing certain words with apostrophes in them, the autocorrect loses the last letter or just generally borks up. I was reluctant to say anything because I expect it's just an android thing, and didn't want a £1000 resolution suggestion. 
I'm now using swift keyboard and it's gone away, but I didn't have any problems with other text entry fields in other apps or websites, so I'm guessing it's an Invision thing. 
I only mention it as I'm seeing other posters missing the last letter of words like it's, I'm and so on, so it's likely a wider issue. 

Hmm, well that took some digging but yeah it was a Firefox issue ty.  Not sure about the Apple advice though ?

That's where my wife was christened, and took 1st communion.
Thankfully they built a Polish church by the time we married, so I didn't understand a word of the ceremony.

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
 
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.

Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.  You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
"Something happened.  I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
 
 
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
 
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
 
"I have," says the man.
 
 
 "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
  
  "We're having granite worktops."

A man with  a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a


Xmas fancy  dress party


He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden

leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his

problem.  A  few days later he receives a parcel with a
note

Dear  Sir,


Please find enclosed a  Pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald  head and with your wooden
leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The  man is offended that the outfit  emphasizes his disability, so he
writes a letter of complaint..  A week passes and he
receives another parcel and note:

Dear  Sir,

Sorry about the previous  parcel. Please find enclosed a

monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and
with your bald head you will really look the part. 

The  man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company
has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing
attention to his bald head.  So he writes a really strong
letter of complaint.. A few days later he gets a very small
parcel  from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear  Sir,

Please find enclosed a  tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of  Golden Syrup over your bald
head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.



 

Can't afford a Lexus.

Leave it with me, I’ll sort it. No bother.

But maybe it’s our lucky suit and shirt combo?!

I got it wrong today. I’m sorry.

??????

I thought there was a bit of I’m alright Jack going on and wasn’t particularly impressed with the whinging, whining idiots sketch, no need for that at all but the main reason I quoted you was to point out with your mod powers, it could be a good idea to change “shagging” to “slagging” ?

I'd say with the large number of people complaining, there's still technical teething problems. Slagging off the customers is a bit harsh and unfair. 

Or indeed that of their dog ?

Probably my favourite anagram of all time is the one for the old Conservative Health Secretary: Virginia Bottomley...........
I'm an evil tory bigot

Tried that. Got this. Will try again 
 

You relax David, Boycie will sort it out when he has a cup of tea. 

As a sparky I'm sure he's cleaned plenty of other people's cash.

Bullies!

As a sparky I'm sure he's cleaned plenty of other people's cash.