King Kevin

A few years ago I invented a beach footwear for people with one leg..

it was a flop
 

This is my toy
Picked it up cheap and in the middle of a big rebuild on it! 

Currently got a BMW M140i...it's very nice and very fast but I think I'm rapidly reaching the age where something with more pliant suspension might be better for my knackered old back.

My truck I bought about a month ago

Could end up at Forest ,when they both sack their managers at Christmas. 

Could end up at Forest ,when they both sack their managers at Christmas. 

If it's got either wheels or boobs it will cost you dearly. Both are worth it though in the end.

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!  

Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.    

My other car I call the beast. Think they sold it over there as a Vauxhall VXR8.

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!  

Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.    

There's a plane crash and a man gets washed up ashore on a remote island in the pacific the only other person that makes it is no other that Kylie Minogue .Well this guy can't believe his luck ,they learn to survive and get on together and in due course become an item .
After a while they are sitting there discussing their predicament" are you happy " ? she asks .
"What man wouldn't be happy stranded on a desert island with you  but I miss my mates and lads banter" he replies.
Kylie trying to be helpful says "look this island is only 6 miles round I'll dress up in your clothes and start walking one way round ,you go the other way and when we meet you can pretend I'm a mate and tell me what you want".
So they set off in opposite directions ,after a couple of hours he see's her in the distance ,as they get closer he starts to walk faster and then breaks into a run .
He runs up to her and yells " hey mate guess who I'm shagging:

There's a plane crash and a man gets washed up ashore on a remote island in the pacific the only other person that makes it is no other that Kylie Minogue .Well this guy can't believe his luck ,they learn to survive and get on together and in due course become an item .
After a while they are sitting there discussing their predicament" are you happy " ? she asks .
"What man wouldn't be happy stranded on a desert island with you  but I miss my mates and lads banter" he replies.
Kylie trying to be helpful says "look this island is only 6 miles round I'll dress up in your clothes and start walking one way round ,you go the other way and when we meet you can pretend I'm a mate and tell me what you want".
So they set off in opposite directions ,after a couple of hours he see's her in the distance ,as they get closer he starts to walk faster and then breaks into a run .
He runs up to her and yells " hey mate guess who I'm shagging:

We could have an half and half shirt with Forest ,thought not.

Hard work this Chelsea job

Nandos hot with double peri peri chips ,two of my five a day.

You have good taste young man.

One of my favourite all time tracks is this.

Steve Perry what a voice.

Thought we should have had him as manager a few years ago .

Dorothy ,the lion from the Wizard of Oz and Quasimodo are walking down the street ,
You know says Dorothy I think I'm the prettiest girl in the whole widw world.
"I think I'm the bravest lion in the wholw wide world "says the lion 
"I think I'm the ugliest person in the wholw wide world says "Quasi 
I know says Dorothy we''ll ask the witch she will have the definitive answer and off they go .
Dorothy comes out  smiling from seeing the witch, I knew it she says I am the prettiest girl in the whole wide world 
The loin goes in next, I knew it  he says I am the bravest lion in the whole wide world looking very happy.
Quasi goes in and come out with a long face "who the feck is Peter Beardsley he says.

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bar steward!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

Dorothy ,the lion from the Wizard of Oz and Quasimodo are walking down the street ,
You know says Dorothy I think I'm the prettiest girl in the whole widw world.
"I think I'm the bravest lion in the wholw wide world "says the lion 
"I think I'm the ugliest person in the wholw wide world says "Quasi 
I know says Dorothy we''ll ask the witch she will have the definitive answer and off they go .
Dorothy comes out  smiling from seeing the witch, I knew it she says I am the prettiest girl in the whole wide world 
The loin goes in next, I knew it  he says I am the bravest lion in the whole wide world looking very happy.
Quasi goes in and come out with a long face "who the feck is Peter Beardsley he says.