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Tony Pulis' hat.


Alph

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Garth Crooks. "Well i don't nessecarily agree with that." No, you wouldn't would you Garth. Because if you did then you wouldn't be able to talk utter twoddle for the next 20mins.

Papers calling us "County". It's not short. Derby and Rams are shorter. Use them.

The scoreboard at PP.

The silence at PP.

People forgetting Alex Ferguson is just Man United manager. Nothing more.

John Terry on England "i think we've got a chance. We've got some great players"

As mentioned, every throw is a foul throw!!

"The first goal could prove crucial" 'http://www.dcfcfans.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' /> Surely not?

"........ at this football club" and "...... for this football club". It doesn't show off your intelligence or commitment. Stop it.

Players doing the customary limp to show they're injured.

The secret society of referees. Thou shall not speaketh of them. Holy and profound Markus Clatenburgo. His wise decision shall not be explained to us lesser mortals.

"This substitution was sponsored by ETS Tyres limited".

Either it's a penalty or a dive moments. But no card is shown and they wave play on. No wonder players dive

Diving.

Ben Davies kicking an imaginary out of place blade of grass before taking any set piece.

Round 2 complete.

JoeTheRam, you have issues, man. Try some yoga or summat.

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  • **** newspapers talking of our 'rivalry' with Birmingham and Coventry because they're too thick/lazy to read they are in the West Midlands, and we're in the East.
  • Our kit - it's horrible, has been for years.
  • People not really knowing where Derby is, or anything about the football club. 'Is that near Birmingham?' - f*ck off
  • Colin Gibson - 'Nigel, 3 points today - you must be happy?'. I'd love him to say 'No, I'm f*cking distraught'.
  • 'I listened to the game today Colin, and I really think we need a new midfielder and new striker, we're a shambles'. Righto.
  • Rammie letting half time penalties in against the kids. You're lining them up for a lifetime of spotkick related failure. Just stick your hand out.
  • Walkabout showing the Rugby instead of Man City v Everton last weekend.
  • Rugby World Cup going on so long, lingering round in the sports pages like a bad smell.
  • Players and staff not coming to thank the fans at away matches. Don't you worry, I'll just keep Network Rail in businesses to watch us, you totter off back to the dressing room.
  • I can't get anyone decent on loan on Football Manager.
  • Every single thing to do with England - Capello, Lampard, Terry, Cole, Wembley, that stupid kit with coloured dots all over it, the fact that we're not very good. And everything that is wrong with football supporters from all over the country cramming in to boo, hiss, call athletes 'fat waste of space', and talk nonsense about the three games they've seen between them this year - all on Sky.
  • Taking the p*ss out of a forest fan for losing, standard retort: 'How many European Cups have you won?'
  • Commute to work
  • Fake laughing at work to keep people happy
  • Talking like a tw*t at work about 'key stakeholders, value propositions, from the business perspective' - why can't people talk normally?
  • Eggs have ballooned in price over the last few years
  • Cost of living
  • Life
  • Everything

GOD this is good.

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Wait until Stoke go to Turkey. Might not think their support is so great then!

Besiktas ground is about 30k. Stoke fans will be in awe!

The hype of their support gets on my nerves. ITV commentator who did the game tonight is the same idiot that has an orgasm whenever he does the Leeds games. He's awful. Guess he never did a Stoke game in the Championship.

Man, I'm moaning today! Getting on my own nerves

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iTV4 Commentary of Stoke game

"Once you become a Stoke fan, you never change, you are there during the good times and bad times"

Isn't that the same for every single set of fans in the world? 'http://www.dcfcfans.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rolleyes:' />

They were getting 11,000 or so at the start of their promotion season.

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Still on Stoke..........

I saw an old puma rams shirt in Hanley city centre the other day, deep down I was giving it so much "Ger in"

Must have looked like I had a nasty tick or a terrible affliction, funny thing was when I walked past and gave a quick "up the rams"

the lad gave a secret nod and wink!

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Those 'bet in play' adverts at half time.

The fact every single thing in football is sponsored.

The bland, dull, silence at Pride Park.

Nintendo DS.

A cricketesque round of applause for a goal rather than a roar.

Anything that's 'family friendly'. I can't stand kids.

Watered down Danish lager.

Hearing a pin drop when the opposition team score.

The people in suits who'd rather sit inside watching the game inside the West stand than be out in the stadium watching it.

The **** bus that's always late.

Having to hear kids talk about how drunk they were last night on the bus.

The fact that I can't go running much any more because my ankle's totally ******.

Alan Green jizzing over Manchester United.

Local pubs being empty for most matches and then full of glory hunters when two of the top four teams play each other.

FIFA 12

Nani.

Tottenham Hotspur.

and finally,

The DCFC official site being totally gash.

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People who complain about our kit being the same design as other Adidas kits. What the hell do you think we're going to get, even Saint Ettienne have the templates you absolute ****.

Commentators who add the subject of the sentence right at the end, really quickly: "He's a great lad, really wears his heart on his sleavecraigbryson." The guy on RamsPlayer does it all the time.

Part-time fans.

Kettering Town fans who reckon I'm a glory supporter.

Kettering Town fans who seriously believe they'd beat us.

Kettering not even playing in Kettering anymore.

Luis Suarez.

Rugby fans who say rugby is simpler than football. No it's not.

The media calling Swansea City "foreign". Well done, you've failed Year 4 geography.

People who put an apostrophe.

Football fans who subscribe to Sky Sports, buy their club's shirt every season without fail, kit their house out with club merchandise, have a season ticket and then complain about how much footballers earn.

The FA docking points. Well f*cking done, you've just punished the fans and players who had absolutely nothing to do with the original crime. I hope Luton fans have learned their lesson, that'll teach 'em to have a naughty manager.

England fans who decided that it was a golden generation after beating Bulgaria and the nation's darkest day after struggling against Wales.

The fact the Home Nations don't play as Great Britain.

Olympic football. WE HAVE A WORLD CUP.

The Ant and Dec thing on Soccer AM. Wasn't funny the first time. 8483 shows later, and it's still not funny. And the Tubes gag has been running for my entire secondary school education.

Tim Lovejoy's tragic fall in to obscurity.

Anyone who takes their own team's failures out on Stoke. Why isn't a club allowed more fans? Maybe we should cut off Pride Park's attendance at 24,000 and never ever let anymore fans support us other than that. Why don't Stoke play football "properly"? I'm pretty sure football's about scoring more goals than the opposition, and Stoke are pretty good at that. Infact, better than most.

The rest of my post is purely dedicated to the FLS, as I'm not done with it yet:

I hate the BBC believing that as soon as your team's relegated in to the Football League, you immediately become both thick and an insomniac. No, you no longer need the insightful analysis of Lawrenson and Hansen. No, that would be wasted on you, because, after all, half your brain cells were lost with your team's demotion from the Prem. What you need is a hopeless, retired journeyman footballer who will tell you that your best player is a good footballer and that you'll be happy with your team's win, because you do not know this. You probably don't know who Forest, Leeds or West Ham are anymore, so we'll send a camp bald guy out to tell you all about them. I bet you've never ever heard of Brian Clough going to Leeds, and I bet you haven't heard West Ham's club song. And did you know that Sheffield Wednesday and Sheffield United have a rivalry? And because you're now thick, you don't know that you need any sleep, so we'll show 20 seconds of your team's 6-goal thriller against one of the country's biggest clubs at 12.30am. There are millions of clever people out there who need to know all about Fulham's 0-0 draw at Wigan, so you'll just have to wait abit while we get the important stuff sorted out first.

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okay then

derby fans that turn on cloughie when ever we lose

pink boots

bentner saying he the worlds best striker

england not being on the bbc

people who think the a tactical nous because there good at football managment games

joey barton

gary neville

jon motson

forest for not respecting peter taylor

the south thinking they know football when their best team is portsmouth

john terry

anelka

the french team

french people

leeds

coventry for being a waste of space

forest

tyson before he moved to derby

andy reid

ronaldo (both of them)

la liga....theres only 2 teams

indian people surrporting chelsea

man city

that pitman bloke who turned down the prem to join bristol city for the money

who ever in derby thought selling tom huddlestone was a good idea

derby doing **** on the telly

and coke zero...whats the point

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  • 5 weeks later...

Well then, here are a few things I disike and/or hate (Gotta let Daveo know that i'm still alive, haven't I):

Arsene Wenger's view that a defence is no longer needed in football.

The continued existence of Steve Evans.

The fact that no matter the opposition, score or general performance, Liverpool continue to bore me.

Luis Suarez and his snivelly face.

Tony Hibbert continuing to fool people into thinking he's a footballer.

Steven Gerrard's energy levels. Give the man a party balloon or something, he's about dead.

People who think Nigel Clough is a poor manager. (Sorry Mama)

Garth Crooks, he needs to calm the f*ck down and be quiet.

The knowledge that someone spent £35m on Andy Carroll and meant it.

The fact that we sold Darren Moore, the man was a hero.

Blackburn fans having a go at Steve Kean when he has such a mediocre side to choose from.

Those large tennis balls that you can get at Decathlon.

Steve Evans again.

Adebayo Akinfenwa's fitness coach.

The distinct lack of bandana on Dean Leacock's forehead.

People who are against a British team at the Olympics. I like our conquered allies, as it happens.

Florent Malouda finding and then losing form twice in less time than it takes to write this sentence.

The fact that the old/real Ronaldo didn't turn up at Derby for a 6-month swansong like I always hoped he would.

Pedro not being clattered hard enough. If he's going to dive like that then leave a large imprint on him for your trouble.

The fact that someone dared to water down solid English heritage with Spanish influence, and then had the gall to call it Jay Rodriguez and let it play for England.

The Daily Mail and all it stands for.

People who can't tell that Theo Robinson is a decent footballer.

The fact that Theo Robinson's feet sometimes forget that they belong to a decent footballer.

Adam Legdzins for having such a difficult name to spell when rushing to type.

When Millwall fans have to be thanked for not rioting when West Ham turned up. Pathetic.

The tragic loss of Lizzie and her cheeky smile from the Football League Show.

Steve Evan's family and friends.

Whoever cast the invisibility spell on Danny Webber and refused to reverse it.

The awful possibility that I may be forced to discuss Nottingham Forest for an hour every week live on radio. I apologise in advance for this.

The reason we haven't signed Salif Diao yet, he would be perfect for us.

And last but not least, the retirement of Paul Scholes, who is without a doubt my favourite player ever. I shall miss his weekly bookings on MOTD.

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