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Tony Pulis' hat.


Alph

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A moan thread about football. Not seen one in a while. What gets to you? Let it all out!!

Pulis always wearing that cap. It must fluckin stink.

Commentators ignoring any cheating by players they happen to like. England's players and Bale usually. " - you can see from that replay he just clipped Lampard".... no. No you can't.

Players pretending to be injured to break play. All that gay rolling around. Are their wives watching?

The Football League show and Manish Bhasin. Supports Leicester you know? 'http://www.dcfcfans.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rolleyes:' />

Clem telling me why West Ham and Millwall are rivals. Some **** about Dockworkers. Don't tell me. Tell them!

How every manager "likes his team to play it on the floor". But most teams still hoof it down the line after 5 passes across the back 4.

Chicarito/Hernandez's face.

Nani's face.

Joe Hart's hair. Is it fur?

Why does McClaren always seem to know a private joke?

And finally, for now, goal music at Pride Park.

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arsene wenger 'not seeing it' when one of his players gets sent off.

How over rated cesc fabregas is.

watching 10 minutes of blackburn and bolton spectacularly draw 0-0 on match of the day.

blackburn still being in the premier league yet bringing nothing to it (apart from the win against arsenal)

'super sundays'

Leon Best somehow becoming a good striker (?)

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Alan Green's constant jizzing over Man Utd, even when they aren't winning.

And Nani's face, also why does he have to scream when he scores?

The poznan.

SSN overdramatisation of everything. Spurs trained today, ZOMG what next?

Steve Bruce complaining about a referee's decision.

The guy on FLS who goes to matches and regurgitates info from Wikipedia in the preamble.

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Everything SKY Sports do involving football.

"The big 4" - since when were Chelsea the second biggest team in England?

Chelsea

Man City

The Poznan

Youtube players

Fans who video everything

Fans who take photos of players during the game

The stupid no standing rule in the top two tiers

Stewards

1 o'clock kick-offs

5 o'clock kick offs

Players who kiss the badge

SKY Sports

The "Champions" League

The Europa League

The League Cup

SKY Sports

How everything revolves around what someone said on Twitter

"He was touched so he had a right to go down"

Pink boots

Clubs who think they have an Ultras group in their support because they've got a few flags and sing "Just can't get enough"

Celtic

Rangers

Billy Davies doing what's best for Billy Davies

SKY Sports

Club funded choreographies

Pre match music

Goal music

Those inflatable clapper things

Wigan

SKY Sports

Darlington

The Ricoh Arena

Fans who are more interested in how much money their club is making/losing than what's going on on the pitch

Lack of fan solidarity

SKY Sports

And that's just for starters...

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Andy Townsend saying that "it's really important at this stage for _____ to nick a goal. If they can nick a goal, they're back in this one. Whoever wins this game needs a goal."

The punditry on the FLS. HOW CAN YOU TALK SO MUCH AND SAY NOTHING. "Nigel Clough is doing a great job down there, Jeff Hendrick made a good strike there, Steve McLaren won't like losing that game, it means a lot to the folks in that area of the country, Derby have some good players, Leyton Orient have some good players but it's not working for some reason, Morecombe will be dissapointed to lose, Crawley are top and are therefore having a good a good season, thanks for staying up till 6:00am, here's the league table and I'm going to pretend I can see it when clearly I'm talking infront of a screen."

Players who reckon they look good in green boots.

Interviews with footballers. They're not going to friggin tell you anything you don't already know. In fact, I could tell you more about Waye Rooney's performances than he ever could.

People who complain about snoods and football boots, saying that modern footballers turn football into a fashion parade. Well why do you care so much about what they wear then!?

People who ware Henleys. Okay, it's not strictly football, but I hate it enough to mention it when I'm in this mood.

The guy on RamsPlayer. "OOOOH MARK O'BRIEN, reminding us all what life is all about with that pass to Jason Shackell."

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Nile "I'M DA REALISSSTTT, SAY NO MORE" Ranger. No Nile, you're not the realist, you're a moron.

Gareth Barry. If at any point he does anything of any interest to anyone, he will be removed from this list.

Arsenal. I'm assuming that ninety ex-players die before every match and the fans are paying their respects to them one by one or that they just get in 60,000 cardboard cutouts for home games. Either way, I can't figure out what the posh barstewards are playing at.

James "Wigan are a massive, massive club" McCarthy. What fecking planet are you on?

"I used to support X, but now I support Y". Really? I used to have some modicum of interest in what you had to say, but now I think you're a tw@t.

Mike Phelan. The only benefit of Ferguson now speaking to the Beeb is that I don't have to look at Mikey's giant, bedraggled face.

Graham Coxon. Although a Derby fan, completely ignored me the other day when I saw him on the street and shouted "come on you rams". If you're reading Graham, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

Soccer AM. Ah, cheeky, chummy misogynists in a room with cameras. But it's all right cos, according to a philosopher I met on a night bus, "I tell ya what mate, that bird presenting it's right tasty, y'know." No sir, I don't, and would you mind moving away from me and talking to someone else, because you frighten me. He refused, and I ended up with a black eye.

The catering service at Watford. I have honestly held back puke that tasted better than my wee meat pie.

"I wanna go home, I wanna go home, Millwall's a shithole I wanna go home". Although Millwall is a shithole, we aren't actually in Millwall, we're in Bermondsey (also a shithole). Although all statements combined within the song are correct, they provide a rather confusing statement. Why would the state of Millwall, Isle of Dogs, make me wish to leave Bermondsey? Huh?

If we ever play Arsenal and I hear "Arsenal's a shithole", I might stab my own eye's out. IT'S NOT A PLACE!!!!

Leicester City. We don't really care, Forest don't really care. Piss off and play with Hinckley and stop craving our attention, you silly little boys.

Victor Valdes. The luckiest man in football history.

Lilt. It's not totally tropical, it's totally crap.

The bloke who used to sit next to me at home games. I'm afraid that "break his legs, break his legs, rip the f*ckers off" does not qualify as a song, more the ramblings of a man you'd find eating soap in a 24 hour cafe.

Johnny Metgod. Did he really? And what did God say to Johnny? He told him that Danny Buijs would be a decent Championship signing? Well why has he just signed for Kilmarnock then, you omnipotent ********???

John Brayford. How dare you dupe me into believing that you are thick before using the word "impetus". I don't know what to believe anymore.

Team Bath. Who came up with that name? It's sounds like a badly named hot tub orgy society.

Saul Deeney. Because what the feck is the point?

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I'll list some teams I don't like in order

Leeds United

Nottingham Forest

West Ham United

McDons

Man United

Chelsea

Crawley Town

Sunderland

Leicester City

Fulham

Bolton Wanderers

Oldham Athletic (Dickov a dirty git)

Portsmouth

Bristol City

Stevenage

Birmingham City

Sheffield United

Stoke City

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I'll list some teams I don't like in order

Leeds United

Nottingham Forest

West Ham United

McDons

Man United

Chelsea

Crawley Town

Sunderland

Leicester City

Fulham

Bolton Wanderers

Oldham Athletic (Dickov a dirty git)

Portsmouth

Bristol City

Stevenage

Birmingham City

Sheffield United

Stoke City

I just got curious, why Bolton and Stevenage ?

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Commentators - when watching replays ACTUALLY watch the replay you muppet cause we all saw it clip his leg/knee/foot/thigh* and go for a corner so don't sit there and tell us it didn't.

Throw ins - how many fowl throws do we see every game and not one gets punished.

Assitant Referee's - no there linesman ....end of.

Grantham - Ginger inbreds

Fans - sit and talk all the way through the gamne withoput watching ....c**ks everysingle one

Leaving early - 85 mins gone and its 1-1 we have a corner and you leaving !!!!!!! you wouldn't leave the cinema 5 mins before the end would you.

*delete accordingly

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People who say the PL is the best league in the world.. No it isn't, it's predictable, boring, and other than Rooney, Aguero, David Silva and Mata the league is devoid of quality. Man Utd will win the league. Man City will finish 2nd. Chelsea will finish 3rd. And they all play boring football.

Teams who go to Old Trafford and sit everyone in their own half, and are happy to lose by a single goal.

Nani, like someone mentioned, why does he scream and do a backflip everytime he scores? His goal celebration for his 'goal' against Spurs last seasons was ridiculous

Gareth Bale and Scott Parker.. Say no more

A.Cole being the best leftback in the world.. No he's not. Not even close.

Arsenal and being called title challenges

The BBC churning out yet another Ársenal have turned a corner thread everytime they win a game

People who compare other players with others.. Let me expand. People who rate NPC championship players to past greats who have done it against the best

Exaggeration in football.. Kevin Blackwell once said after Sheff Utds 3-0 away win at Reading in 2009 'We were unbeatable' He honestly thought that if his team played that way in the Nou Camp they wouldn't lose?.. Deluded.

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Busquets. What a ****.

Gareth Roberts. The worst DCFC player i've ever seen.

Russian national team. A bunch of over rated and overpaid ******.

Barcelona. It must be so boring to be a Barca fan.

Russian 'premier league'

David Luiz's behavior outside the field. He looks like an Idiot.

Andre Villas Boas. The same as Luiz but in the dug-out.

Nigel Clough's faith in Nathan fockin Tyson.

Carlos Tevez. What a moaning git.

'Steve Bloomer watchig' song. The most annoying thing in football.

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Busquets. What a ****.

Gareth Roberts. The worst DCFC player i've ever seen.

Russian national team. A bunch of over rated and overpaid ******.

Barcelona. It must be so boring to be a Barca fan.

Russian 'premier league'

David Luiz's behavior outside the field. He looks like an Idiot.

Andre Villas Boas. The same as Luiz but in the dug-out.

Nigel Clough's faith in Nathan fockin Tyson.

Carlos Tevez. What a moaning git.

'Steve Bloomer watchig' song. The most annoying thing in football.

Really? How long have you been watching Derby?!

Anyway -

  • 2.45pm - 3.00pm inside Pride Park. The stupid bloke shouting 'come on youuuuuu Raaaaaams!, the stupid song we run out to, stupid Steve Bloomer's Watching. Everything. I hate it.
  • Infact, Pride Park full stop
  • Harry Redknapp, generally. How is he not in jail?
  • El Hadji Diouf
  • Lee Camp
  • Mick Camp
  • Base Camp
  • Tent Camp
  • Mrs Camp
  • Arsenal fans thinking their plight is some kind of disaster - try supporting Plymouth
  • Man Utd v Arsenal being billed as a 'showdown'
  • Neil Warnock
  • JJB at Derby - why can't there be a decent pub to watch the 1.45pm match before going to the ground?
  • Blackburn
  • Steve Keen
  • Venkys
  • Scottish football
  • Tottenham ruling themselves in and out of title races at will - you're out. Forever
  • Players letting the ball run for a corner when they could put a cross in easily
  • Supporters getting on players backs for keeping possession by playing it back, rather than hoofing it
  • Supporters going mad when players make a mistake shortly after going a goal down, when the same mistake 5 minutes earlier wouldn't be noticed
  • When you ask people who they support, and they say 'Man Utd - supported them all my life, mate'. Well, I didn't think you supported Brentford last week
  • People leaving the match early when there's all to play for
  • Ray Wilkins on first name terms with players he's never even heard of
  • Still being able to detect a bit of Dutch in McClaren's accent
  • Colin Bloomfield
  • David Nugent winning an England Cap. On that logic I should at least be playing in League Two
  • People who claim to be 'football mad' but don't know anything about football outside the Premier League
  • Peter Ridsdale
  • Ken Bates
  • Leeds United
  • Phil Dowd
  • Gordon Strachan
  • Any trip to Selhurst Park. It's horrible
  • Derby's membership scheme
  • Salgado on Sky when he can barely speak English. When Burnley were in the Premier League he talked about Blackburn's big rivalry 'with Barnsley'.
  • Stan Collymore
  • Phil Brown
  • Celtic
  • Neil Lennon
  • Liverpool's 'revival' under Dalglish
  • John Terry
  • Frank Lampard
  • Anyone in the England squad over 30 (apart from Parker) minimum two World Cups, they've all been ****
  • Champions League group stages
  • Moving games from a Saturday to a Friday night for TV, then commentators talking about how gates have suffered in recent years
  • Birmingham City
  • forest
  • Leeds
  • Leicester thinking their game with us is still big. It's not
  • Johnstone's Paint/LDV Vans/whatever it's called trophy.

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Nottingham forest still going on about the two european cups

Manchester united being lucky gits and winning when they are crap

Arsene wenger

Arsenal fans

The emirates and how it has the atmosphere of a funeral

How liverpool think they are automatically world beaters

How liverpool fans think they are epic, yet when they go 1-0 down they are mysteriously quiet

Why the ****** in the government and f.a. won't allow safe standing when it works in the bundesliga

stoke fans joining the bandwagon of that tin pot club who no one gave a damn about 6 years ago

and so many more.

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Really? How long have you been watching Derby?!

Not that long. Since 1997.

But i can't think about Beck, Blatsis, Bragstad, Dainio, Kaku, Schnoor, Grenet, Walton, Costa, Manel, Whelan, Graham, Tome, Talbot, J.Jackson, Savage, Thirlwell, John, Pearson and others when i see Roberts plays. Little miserable git.

Oh i forgot.

Arshavin's goal celebration.

Pearson's wife. How the **** could he get her?

Fabio Capello. The most useless 'manager' at the moment.

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Manchester United

Manchester United fans

People who think they are manchester united fans because they buy a 4 year old top from the allenton flea market for 50p

Piss on the floor at pps I wanna take a dump after sinking a fair few john smiths/ guiness's without getting my jeans wet

The annoying ****** that come 5 mins after kick off

The annoying ****** that go to the toilet atleast twice in each half

The annoying ****** that go down for more beer after 35 / 40 mins despite coming in 5 mins late

The annoying ****** that then come back 5 mins late after the second half kick off

The idiots that walk out infront of you when driving away from pride park after a game (if not been drinking) - I am in a car this will hurt you alot more than me pal!

People that quit a game of fifa online because u score a goal & go in front

People that are always manchester united when playing fifa online

The price of petrol

Trucks on the motorway at night taking up 2 lanes

Leeds united

Nottingham forest fans

Robert earnshaw & his lightbulb head

Gary neville as a pundit

Gary neville full stop

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