Mental health of the most vulnerable fans ... if Derby are relegated

[LeedsCityRam]

Just wanted to bump this thread from last month in light of recent events.

I maintain its very unlikely we'll be playing League One football come August but there will be an inevitable weariness to this constant uncertainty with no clear end in sight. Its relentless & I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is shaking their head with incredulity at all this, feeling really powerless & just craves a normal, quiet summer with the odd new signing

Things to remember;

1. Perspective - this club has come through some really grim times & yes, we're back here again but we survived in 1984, we survived in 2003-05 & we'll bounce back from this too. And others; Luton got a 30 point deduction, sank into non-league not so long back - they finished above us last year. Leeds were minus 15 points in League One & they came back too. Secondly, as some of the posts earlier on this thread demonstrate, there's some proper hard times being experienced by some out there that makes football seem very unimportant indeed.

2. Whatever the morons behind the ESL think, clubs are all about the fans & this particular club is lucky to have a very loyal & large fanbase. We're a massive community of like minded folk - please don't forget & that this place is great for venting feelings, however irrational/furious/hopeless

3. Tomorrow is another day & things don't stay the same indefinitely. All this will pass.

In the spirit of the second point, I'm going to back off the Rooney bashing for a bit. Made my feelings crystal clear but frankly I'm more concerned about the club stabilising and the fanbase uniting as a group & showing the commitment & loyalty needed to ride out these rough times. And if he does stay come what may & tries to turn this ship around, I'd be lying if that wouldn't impress me massively.

Long live DCFC, they'll never keep us down... ?

Edited June 25, 2021 by LeedsCityRam

[Comrade 86]

On 07/05/2021 at 13:30, Leeds Ram said:

Kind of missing the point with your response I think but we can agree to disagree ? 

With respect, I think it's you that is missing the point, or the point @angieram is making at least. There are some on here who simply revel in melodrama and misery and relentlessly post what are effectively the same doom and gloom missives, multiple times across every day. The bulk of these folk were here long before Covid and they'll probably be here after it too, should it ever end. I concede that a smaller number might not take pleasure from pissing on everyone's chips but are simply annoyed and unsettled by the mess we're in. That's entirely reasonable to my way of thinking, but those who do so relentlessly are a different kettle of fish. 

As such, I don't think @angieram is saying that people can't have a moan, but rather that they should be mindful of the effect a wall of misery has on others and also perhaps resist the urge to post the same sleights all over every thread. Let's be honest here, you'd have to be pretty dim to believe that anyone is in the best place they could be right now but this kind of behaviour merely serves to compound the problem.

Rightly or wrongly, I'm more concerned about the regular posters who seem to have drifted away. Are they ok, and why have they stopped interacting? Is it perhaps because of the cacophony of misery on the forum right now or is it that they are the ones suffering most as a result of other influences or a more delicate mental health balance? When the black dog comes calling for me, withdrawal from day to day life and activities is typically the very first symptom I notice. It's insidious, one day you're just feeling off kilter, a couple of weeks later you can't see the point of getting out of bed, calling fiends, tidying you home and the like. Depression for instance, for most folk, does not typically engender increased daily activity and interactions, but rather fewer.

 

[Leeds Ram]

1 hour ago, 86 Hair Islands said:

With respect, I think it's you that is missing the point, or the point @angieram is making at least. There are some on here who simply revel in melodrama and misery and relentlessly post what are effectively the same doom and gloom missives, multiple times across every day. The bulk of these folk were here long before Covid and they'll probably be here after it too, should it ever end. I concede that a smaller number might not take pleasure from pissing on everyone's chips but are simply annoyed and unsettled by the mess we're in. That's entirely reasonable to my way of thinking, but those who do so relentlessly are a different kettle of fish. 

As such, I don't think @angieram is saying that people can't have a moan, but rather that they should be mindful of the effect a wall of misery has on others and also perhaps resist the urge to post the same sleights all over every thread. Let's be honest here, you'd have to be pretty dim to believe that anyone is in the best place they could be right now but this kind of behaviour merely serves to compound the problem.

Rightly or wrongly, I'm more concerned about the regular posters who seem to have drifted away. Are they ok, and why have they stopped interacting? Is it perhaps because of the cacophony of misery on the forum right now or is it that they are the ones suffering most as a result of other influences or a more delicate mental health balance? When the black dog comes calling for me, withdrawal from day to day life and activities is typically the very first symptom I notice. It's insidious, one day you're just feeling off kilter, a couple of weeks later you can't see the point of getting out of bed, calling fiends, tidying you home and the like. Depression for instance, for most folk, does not typically engender increased daily activity and interactions, but rather fewer.

 

I can't even remember this discussion so I'm not really going to respond. Although, you don't need to tell me what depression looks like thank you very much and I'm not sure why you felt the need to give me a bit of an 'education' on a topic I'm very well acquainted with. 
 People drift away from forums all the time and it can happen for all sorts of reasons, so for me at least it doesn't preoccupy my mind if people go quiet. 

[Comrade 86]

3 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

I can't even remember this discussion so I'm not really going to respond. Although, you don't need to tell me what depression looks like thank you very much and I'm not sure why you felt the need to give me a bit of an 'education' on a topic I'm very well acquainted with. 
 People drift away from forums all the time and it can happen for all sorts of reasons, so for me at least it doesn't preoccupy my mind if people go quiet. 

What education? What are you taking about? All I've done is offered an anecdotal opinion and I did so in a perfectly respectful manner. How am I meant to know your mental health history? More to the point, how can my talking about symptoms I've experienced be construed as tying to educate you? That's an impressive narcissistic leap, right there. All I have done is addressed a wholly unsubstantiated claim you have made on a public forum to the effect that, 'a lot of these 'bed wetters' are probably themselves quite likely to be vulnerable posters'.  

As it is, I've re-read my post several times now and there's nothing contentious or confrontational aimed at you, nor any assumption as to what you know or don't know. 

5 hours ago, 86 Hair Islands said:

When the black dog comes calling for me, withdrawal from day to day life and activities is typically the very first symptom          I notice. It's insidious, one day you're just feeling off kilter, a couple of weeks later you can't see the point of getting out of bed, calling fiends, tidying you home and the like. Depression for instance, for most folk, does not typically engender increased daily activity and interactions, but rather fewer.

I've underlined the bits that clearly indicate the anecdotal nature of the observation. Doubtless you won't mind pointing out where I've attempted to 'educate' you because as far as I can see, you're not even referenced. All I can see is an argument that depression is more likely to result in decreased output than increased activity.

The last sentence is the only non-anecdotal content and if you've managed to find something in that sentence to take offence at that, then frankly you need to grow a pair and stop assuming everything is about you. The thread had been very civil and thoughtful beforehand and the fact is that I, like any other poster should be able to talk about their own personal mental health experiences without ignorant, ill-considered and confrontational responses like your own. 

[ariotofmyown]

I missed this thread the first time round. Tough read but brave. Hope you are doing better now @MackworthRamIsGod and everyone else to else.

As to the opening post by @Ken Tram , relegation back in May would have been tough, but unfortunately that is part of sport. It still would have hit people hard though, especially those already struggling.

If we do go down now though, it would be particularly rubbish. Especially after this awful process conducted by the EFL.

I read the opening post thinking it was very recent. Maybe it's needed even more now.

[MackworthRamIsGod]

1 hour ago, ariotofmyown said:

I missed this thread the first time round. Tough read but brave. Hope you are doing better now @MackworthRamIsGod and everyone else to else.

As to the opening post by @Ken Tram , relegation back in May would have been tough, but unfortunately that is part of sport. It still would have hit people hard though, especially those already struggling.

If we do go down now though, it would be particularly rubbish. Especially after this awful process conducted by the EFL.

I read the opening post thinking it was very recent. Maybe it's needed even more now.

Thank you, yes we are doing much better, it has been a tough few months, but yesterday we picked up the keys to our new home. During lockdown last year we lived in a 2 bed flat with no garden, my 3 year old had no where to play bless him, another source of stress for me.  We managed to sell our place, rent somewhere temporarily and buy somewhere with a big garden for my son to play in. We finally picked the keys up yesterday and seeing the smile on my sons face when he saw his new garden is something I will never forget.

Derby County are a continued source of stress at the minute, but if my situation tells us anything, even in the longest darkest tunnel, there will be light at the end eventually.

[RoyMac5]

20 minutes ago, MackworthRamIsGod said:

Thank you, yes we are doing much better, it has been a tough few months, but yesterday we picked up the keys to our new home. During lockdown last year we lived in a 2 bed flat with no garden, my 3 year old had no where to play bless him, another source of stress for me.  We managed to sell our place, rent somewhere temporarily and buy somewhere with a big garden for my son to play in. We finally picked the keys up yesterday and seeing the smile on my sons face when he saw his new garden is something I will never forget.

 

"Derby County are a continued source of stress at the minute, but if my situation tells us anything, even in the longest darkest tunnel, there will be light at the end eventually."

?

Sometimes we all need help looking for that light. Get your son into his Derby kit and have a kick around in the new garden! ? #COYR

Edited June 26, 2021 by RoyMac5

[Comrade 86]

6 hours ago, MackworthRamIsGod said:

Thank you, yes we are doing much better, it has been a tough few months, but yesterday we picked up the keys to our new home. During lockdown last year we lived in a 2 bed flat with no garden, my 3 year old had no where to play bless him, another source of stress for me.  We managed to sell our place, rent somewhere temporarily and buy somewhere with a big garden for my son to play in. We finally picked the keys up yesterday and seeing the smile on my sons face when he saw his new garden is something I will never forget.

Absolutely love this. These are the things that remind us that midst all the chaos and stress, we can still make 'go-to' memories that can carry us though tougher times. It's clear you have done just that and I doubt it's just me that cracked a little smile on reading this. Well played mate ?

 

[MackworthRamIsGod]

27 minutes ago, 86 Hair Islands said:

Absolutely love this. These are the things that remind us that midst all the chaos and stress, we can still make 'go-to' memories that can carry us though tougher times. It's clear you have done just that and I doubt it's just me that cracked a little smile on reading this. Well played mate ?

 

Thanks, it really does mean a lot.

[Ken Tram]

On 26/06/2021 at 07:07, ariotofmyown said:

I missed this thread the first time round. Tough read but brave. Hope you are doing better now @MackworthRamIsGod and everyone else to else.

As to the opening post by @Ken Tram , relegation back in May would have been tough, but unfortunately that is part of sport. It still would have hit people hard though, especially those already struggling.

If we do go down now though, it would be particularly rubbish. Especially after this awful process conducted by the EFL.

I read the opening post thinking it was very recent. Maybe it's needed even more now.

Yes! Uncertainty makes things worse!

But, I think that the easing of Lockdown reduces pressures, because people can socialise more.

In terms of process, so many things seem to be done in ways that are unnecessarily stressful. We need to stop doing that to ourselves.

Derby brings so many memories of joy - and provides a tribal sense of family. It'snot all bad! But it also means that Derby is important to many, and any relegation would hit a lot of people very badly.

Think good thoughts people! (For me, tonight, is the biggest game - Germany in the knockouts, and I'm watching it in the pub!)