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Bilbo

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Have you ever wondered if there will ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark? How about questioning why an orange is called an orange? Maybe you're curious to know how many kittens would it take to bring Bradley Johnson to his knees?

Well ladies and gentlemen. Worry no more! I've not been around for a while because I was busy completing the internet. And on Saturday I finally did it. I now know everything. So, if you have any pressing questions, no matter how bizarre they may be, I know the answer.

Go on, give it a try.

 

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2 minutes ago, McRamFan said:

Why can you not lick your own elbow? Caveat it's still attached to the owners body.

Cracking opening question.

You cannot lick your own elbow because if you do you will die. It's like a reset button that god put in. Originally our tongues were 14ft long, but due to evolution they have got shorter to avoid accidental suicides. 

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2 minutes ago, RamsPolls said:

Why can you get Red & Green apples but they're both called the same thing?

When the world was in black and white, there was no way to tell the difference between the green and red apples. It's the same with peppers. By the time Winston Churchill invented colour, people were just used to it and decided to leave it how it was for fear of upsetting the apple cart, which incidentally is where that phrase comes from.

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2 hours ago, King Kevin said:

If the theory of evolution is correct and we came from the apes ,why are apes still around?

evolution works in 3 active stages. In this instance, it's Apes, Wayne Rooney and humans. Until we evolve further, Apes (and Wayne Rooney) will continue to walk amongst us.

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52 minutes ago, RiddingsRam said:

Would you rather be a human with chickens legs or a chicken with human legs ? 

Personally, I would rather be a chicken with human legs, but this would never happen. The offer of this trade used to be big in Glasgow in the mid 90's but only one known man was known to take it up. His name was Gary Teale. Although he went on to be a professional footballer, it came at a cost. His family rejected him and he had to live on a farm.

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24 minutes ago, reveldevil said:

Why do you start mildly entertaining threads such as this one Bilbo, then piss off for months on end?

Have you not seen the size of the internet? That s**** takes its time.

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7 minutes ago, JoetheRam said:

This thread is genius.

I want to know where Bilbo stands on the age old question of whether you would you rather be chased by 100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck?

I wouldn't be standing anywhere, I'd be running.

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