Day Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 21 hours ago, Kernow said: Jason Statham, Lee Grant, man on McCoys Crisp Packet - is this summer going to be a long game of let's find bald/balding men that look like David? I'll start off the next one... May I remind you that's your boss you're taking the piss out of. Been looking at the amount of moderators we have recently and thinking about slimming down.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 So I last went loo last Thursday, I think I might have a compacted bowel, my stomach is massive and really hurting, I haven't a clue how long to leave this, anybody had this problem and now to alleviate the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ketteringram Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 10 minutes ago, David said: May I remind you that's your boss you're taking the piss out of. Been looking at the amount of moderators we have recently and thinking about slimming down.... You're in the right thread for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 15 minutes ago, LesterRam said: So I last went loo last Thursday, I think I might have a compacted bowel, my stomach is massive and really hurting, I haven't a clue how long to leave this, anybody had this problem and now to alleviate the problem? Laxatives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 1 minute ago, David said: Laxatives. Yeah it won't enter my bowel to activate, I don't fancy an enema Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 1 minute ago, LesterRam said: Yeah it won't enter my bowel to activate, I don't fancy an enema Just get your missus to pour a cup of coffee down your butt, let it cool down first tho.....no need for milk and sugar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernow Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 2 hours ago, David said: May I remind you that's your boss you're taking the piss out of. Been looking at the amount of moderators we have recently and thinking about slimming down.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, Kernow said: Not my fault, it's the accountant down Leyton Orient I was recommended to use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernow Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, David said: Not my fault, it's the accountant down Leyton Orient I was recommended to use At this rate, Peterborough are gonna see the Assombalonga money before I see a penny of my hard-earned moderator's salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I would try anything right now, I took advice from @David and sat in the conservatory with my arse in the air whilst my missus (naked) poored coffee ( no sugar) down my back passage, unfortunately the neighbours reported me and I had to explain my actions down the local nick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, LesterRam said: I would try anything right now, I took advice from @David and sat in the conservatory with my arse in the air whilst my missus (naked) poored coffee ( no sugar) down my back passage, unfortunately the neighbours reported me and I had to explain my actions down the local nick. Orange juice, and lot's of it. Neck it like it's beer, and you'll soon be clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 12 hours ago, LesterRam said: So I last went loo last Thursday, I think I might have a compacted bowel, my stomach is massive and really hurting, I haven't a clue how long to leave this, anybody had this problem and now to alleviate the problem? Could you get a vet to shove his soapy arm up your back passage and drag it out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ketteringram Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 8 hours ago, LesterRam said: I would try anything right now, I took advice from @David and sat in the conservatory with my arse in the air whilst my missus (naked) poored coffee ( no sugar) down my back passage, unfortunately the neighbours reported me and I had to explain my actions down the local nick. Did they let you call your Barista? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 6 minutes ago, ketteringram said: Did they let you call your Barista? I think he's bean on the phone to him. Police are now taking his mug shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Just heard he's been released without discharge. Police just said you Kenco. He replied: I wish I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Back from me hols & going low carb from tomorrow. I'm the lowest weight I've been in the last 5 years but just can't shift that 10lbs I'd really like to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Week 1 of low carb diet. 4lbs lost. Feeling fine except for yesterday when I was really lethargic, which is really common - as your body switches to burning fat instead of carbs. Went to the gym to "power through it" & it was horrendous at the time but feel OK today, so hopefully that's me through the difficult bit. Just had a load of Brie for breakfast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted June 26, 2017 Author Share Posted June 26, 2017 3 hours ago, Wolfie said: Week 1 of low carb diet. 4lbs lost. Feeling fine except for yesterday when I was really lethargic, which is really common - as your body switches to burning fat instead of carbs. Went to the gym to "power through it" & it was horrendous at the time but feel OK today, so hopefully that's me through the difficult bit. Just had a load of Brie for breakfast When you say low carbs,how low and what are you eating? Well done ,low carbs doesn't feel great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 50 minutes ago, coneheadjohn said: When you say low carbs,how low and what are you eating? Well done ,low carbs doesn't feel great. Pretty low. I'm not strictly counting but pretty much the only thing I'm eating that I know has carbs in it is a handful of nuts during the day as a snack, so would expect maybe 20-30g of carbs max per day - allowing for a bit in the veg that I'm eating. Other than that, my diet has been exclusively protein and fat. Lots of cheese, chicken, turkey, bacon. I've only just completed the first week, so may have to look at ways to vary it in the future. I've actually found it quite a bit easier than I thought, as I used to eat quite a lot of cereals, pasta & bread (not so much potatoes) and my snack of choice was crisps. I'm pleased that I haven't felt as hungry mid morning and afternoon as I used to. I did feel proper rough yesterday, though. Almost back to normal today, so maybe the metabolism boost from the gym speeded up the transition process?, dunno. I take it you've done it?. How did you get on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I did low-carb diet about 15 years ago and lost loads of weight. Lasted about 6 months, then slowly crpt back to normality. When I see pictures of myself from back then I look like I had AIDS or something. I used to eat a big bowl of bran flakes for breakfast - my only carbs, but I really needed something to stop the meat blocking me up totally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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