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If i ruled the world...


sage

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Make it so the second half can't kick off until everyone has had time to buy their half time pie and pint, get it down them, go for a slash, and maybe also have fag if they're smokers. Anyone I deem to be taking the mickey and holding us up gets a lifetime ban. Zero tolerance policy on slowpokes.

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Make it law that all biscuit packets should have a maximum dunk time warning on them. I have just misjudged a digestive and having to scrape it off some paperwork!!!

I think you need to go on a biscuit awareness course. 

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Make it law that all biscuit packets should have a maximum dunk time warning on them. I have just misjudged a digestive and having to scrape it off some paperwork!!!

try this, dip your biscuit, say "bcnram", then take out biscuit. You'll be fine with 90% of biscuits

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try this, dip your biscuit, say "bcnram", then take out biscuit. You'll be fine with 90% of biscuits

Also if you use a biscuit tin, make sure you put the biscuits in carefully. A hairline crack can become a fracture under tea pressure.

 

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Also if you use a biscuit tin, make sure you put the biscuits in carefully. A hairline crack can become a fracture under tea pressure.

 

I do give the biscuits a brief stress test first. Not so much because of over aggressive placement in biscuit tin, more because of rough handling by the supermarket shelf stackers.

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I do give the biscuits a brief stress test first. Not so much because of over aggressive placement in biscuit tin, more because of rough handling by the supermarket shelf stackers.

being as thought @sage is giving away all the good advice for free, potentially ruining enrolment figures for Biscuit Club Classes, I'll give you another bit. 

Try and procure your biscuits directly from the box if you can, avoiding the decanted biscuits packs that have been crudely stacked directly on the shelving.

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being as thought @sage is giving away all the good advice for free, potentially ruining enrolment figures for Biscuit Club Classes, I'll give you another bit. 

Try and procure your biscuits directly from the box if you can, avoiding the decanted biscuits packs that have been crudely stacked directly on the shelving.

Hmmmm!! That would mean me changing from Sainsbury to one of those German chains, but in the interest of not having to send out documents with dried digestive on them maybe worth considering.

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