petersimple Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 The other day I was walking down the street and I heard someone shouting. I looked across the road and saw two young skinheads on the roof waving and shouting. For a moment I thought they having a go at me. There was a bit of traffic on the road and I couldn't make out what they were shouting, but they seemed to want to tell me something. I waited for a break in the traffic and went towards them. The building was quite high – three stories – and they were on the ridge of the roof. They told me they were stuck up there and they wanted me to go into the building and open a skylight so that they could into the building. I smelled a rat. “How did you get up there?”, I asked. They replied they were roofers and they had accidently closed the skylight trapping them up there. The building had been converted into flats and the main door was open. When I got to the top of the building I could see that I would have to climb a ladder perched precariously on the stairs up to the skylight. It was only about 12 feet to the skylight but if the ladder slipped I would probably fall to the bottom of the building and that would be certain death. As I climbed the ladder the thought occurred to me that if I fell my family would be wondering what the hell I was doing climbing ladders in that building when I only went out to get some milk. I got the window open and the first guy down asked me to hold the ladder as he descended because it wasn't very safe! I seem to get myself in a lot of situations like this. I also seem to have known a lot of people who have had unusual accidents and deaths. Not long ago I was talking to a retired policeman and he said he had never known personally anyone who had been murdered. That surprised me. I think I could name four or five people I have known who have been murdered and I have led quite a sheltered life. What odd things have happened to you lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I had a bottle of Belgian beer that wasn't very nice. That's pretty odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I did a wet fart and secretly threw my boxer shorts out of the toilet window of a snooker club. About three hours later, we left the snooker club and when I opened the door, my boxer shorts were on top of someone's kebab meat and chips, lying on the pavement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I did a wet fart and secretly threw my boxer shorts out of the toilet window of a snooker club. About three hours later, we left the snooker club and when I opened the door, my boxer shorts were on top of someone's kebab meat and chips, lying on the pavement. Still single? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 During an a level exam, with about 150 others. I was desperate to fart and it felt like a humongous wet one that would reverberate around the sports hall. Held it in for as long as I called until no more so pretened to have a shooting pain in my leg and "limp" out. The invigolator said I could go to loo and it was pure heaven finally releasing my bowels. Suffice to say I wasn't limping when I returned! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I did a wet fart and secretly threw my boxer shorts out of the toilet window of a snooker club. About three hours later, we left the snooker club and when I opened the door, my boxer shorts were on top of someone's kebab meat and chips, lying on the pavement.did he have salad with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I got beat up by father of three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I got beat up by father of three. Bloody hell, that is unusual. I didn't become a father until I was 26. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I think I could name four or five people I have known who have been murdered . I think you should turn yourself in to the Police. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I met a Forest fan last week on site who wasn't a mouthy obnoxious gob *****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I met a Forest fan last week on site who wasn't a mouthy obnoxious gob *****. Is that a pun ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StockholmRam Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I arranged a football fundraiser pub quiz in Stockholm 2 weeks ago. 40 questions. One of the questions was about Tony Dorigo. Guess who viewed myLinkedIn page couple ofdays ago?!! Yup...TD himself. Spooky. You tell me. And I have loads of stuff like this happen to me. Example ( I kid you not) a number of years ago myself and some mates were going on the train from Derby to London. We were discussing our favourite bands and mine is The Clash. Our 1st port of call was Victoria and Albert museum and as we were going in, Paul Simonon the bass player in The Clash was exiting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewetube Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 We bought a frame tent from a couple about a mile away from us. About 6 weeks later we went camping in Dawlish Warren, on the second day we were walking around Dawlish and spotted the people who sold us the tent. We stood talking to them for a while and have never seen them since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Some years ago, whilst training for a marathon, I went on an early morning (pre breakfast!) run of about 20 miles, so I was fairly tatered when I got back, to find my next-door-neighbours 2 children (aged approx 2 & 3) standing on the small flat roof over their porch. Needless to say they were pretty distraught, having somehow climbed out of their bedroom window on to the roof and couldn't get back in. I managed to glean the fact (they were so young their speech wasn't the most coherant) that their dad was out at work and their mother was asleep having worked nights. Quick as a flash (well, fairly slowly actually) I got my ladders out and climbed up to the porch roof. I lifted the lad (the elder of the two) back through the bedroom window giving him instructions to go and wake his mother pronto. The final scene was me in sweat-soaked running kit, shivering like an aspen, lifting the little girl through the window to a completely bemused woman in a night dress. As I said to the magistrate.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 18 years ago, I used to work at a company in Ripley that employed over 100 people, I could probably recognise 20 of them. This is a few miles from where I live/lived. I haven't seen any of them since I left apart from one bloke. I saw him in Spain 15 years ago and 2 years ago in London at the Olympics. Weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I keep bumping into a bloke from this forum. Some places we meet are very suspect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I keep bumping into a bloke from this forum. Some places we meet are very suspect. Thomas C? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Thomas C?deffo. Luckily, the smell had gone. Which was good for me, because if he'd had some of them meals he puts on here, my eyes would have been stinging. Filthy swine, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I went to the pub tonight and the barmaid didn't try it on with me, weird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I keep bumping into a bloke from this forum. Some places we meet are very suspect. I haven't been allowed to mention this re an. Impending injunction but a certain forum member is stalking me. Whatever door I open he is there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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