Turk Thrust

It's no longer PC to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so:-
an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an American, a S African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, A Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.  The bouncer said " sorry I can't let you in without a Thai"
 

It's no longer PC to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so:-
an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an American, a S African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, A Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.  The bouncer said " sorry I can't let you in without a Thai"
 

It's no longer PC to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so:-
an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an American, a S African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, A Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.  The bouncer said " sorry I can't let you in without a Thai"
 

It's no longer PC to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so:-
an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an American, a S African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, A Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.  The bouncer said " sorry I can't let you in without a Thai"
 

I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave 13. I told him he'd given one too many but he said "that one's a freebie "

I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave 13. I told him he'd given one too many but he said "that one's a freebie "

After watching an episode of Plebs where Grumio was going to make Surf and Turf meals that rhymed, such as Eel and Veal or Clam and Ham, I decided to make Salmon and Gammon.   Not a match made in heaven. Not recommended. 

After watching an episode of Plebs where Grumio was going to make Surf and Turf meals that rhymed, such as Eel and Veal or Clam and Ham, I decided to make Salmon and Gammon.   Not a match made in heaven. Not recommended. 

Man goes in a pub. His tie is fastened with a clip. The barman says "Out!  We don't like your tie pin here"

The Wife and I are going out to celebrate our 40th anniversay, My wife walked into the bedroom and twirled round.
I said what's that for.
She replied, I wore this on our 1st date all those years ago and it still fits.
I said....it's a scarf!
 
 
I had my 1st Indian meal last night, It was a Chicken Tarka, It's a bit like Chickin Tikka...but a little Otter.
 

The latest phrase to add to my list of phrases that for some reason really annoy me (ie beginning an answer with "so..."; back in the day; it is what it is; and same old, same old) is "from the get go". What a stupid phrase. I know it's an abbreviated form of " get ready, get set, go" but what's wrong  with "from the start"?

People (and lots of posters on here) using "of" instead of "have". As in "could of "should of". 
I'm in my 70s and can't recall ever anyone saying (or writing) this years ago. It's not dialect it's just lazy. 

Agree. But that doesn't excuse people actually writing "could of"

Agree. But that doesn't excuse people actually writing "could of"

People (and lots of posters on here) using "of" instead of "have". As in "could of "should of". 
I'm in my 70s and can't recall ever anyone saying (or writing) this years ago. It's not dialect it's just lazy. 

Why do people say that something is "cheap at half the price"?  Of course everything is cheap if it's half the price. The phrase is "cheap at twice the price" meaning that even if it costs twice as much it would still be cheap. Grrr!

Why do people say that something is "cheap at half the price"?  Of course everything is cheap if it's half the price. The phrase is "cheap at twice the price" meaning that even if it costs twice as much it would still be cheap. Grrr!

She said You show me your collection of old rags and I'll show you my bosom.   It was tit for tat

Z

She said You show me your collection of old rags and I'll show you my bosom.   It was tit for tat

Hard work this Chelsea job

Aberdeen Angus Tomahawk Steak, griddled medium rare, served with leftovers from yesterday, all washed down with a glass of Rioja Tinto.

Irritated rather than annoyed but it's that much overused word "absolutely". You hear it all the time in answer to a question  or anything requiring a yes or indeed  
Q Are you going out tonight?  A Absolutely!"     I think it's going to be hot today.   Absolutely. 
Q Do you think we will win? A Absolutely 
 
Ok I've had my say. Do you think I should now go and lie down? Absolutely!