Tony Le Mesmer

Everyone is obsessed with what other people have got. They feel hard done by and tense.
Often they are unaware that people would love their life.

Paul and Wolfie make great points about something I've posted about in the past. The over reliance of mobile devices.
It's an addiction. Paul mentions the other persons phone going off, either bleeping or ringing and they just must see who it is immediately. The more they text / message on social media the more they in turn receive therefore the cycle perpetuates and this plasticky thing permanently stuck in the palm of their hand over time becomes something they can't actually live without.
I don't use social media in the sense of facebook, twitter and all that malarkey and my internet use is pretty basic and sporadic but even I found it a little bit inconvenient recently when my internet was down and I couldn't use it.
I thought of folk that spend all day on there and truly believe that if I found having no internet for a week preying on my mind, these people will experience major withdrawal symptoms.
Everything is instant. Media and stuff are just constantly chucked in our direction through another screen. Tv, tablet, smart phone etc. I've been to a friends house and he had all 3 on within a metre of where he was sat!
Phones are amazing. If I break down i can get help. If I need to text someone to get a message to them i can. If I need the number of a local chemist then it's there. If I want to buy Derby tickets the moment they go on sale i can.
All useful and makes life easier.
My phone makes my life easier but it's not my life.
The distinction between the two is important.

I was up until the small hours Christmas day wrapping (no not like Eminem ) and the telly was full of adverts about sales starting Christmas day.
You can't even have time to enjoy one thing when the next is forced in your face through media.
Be Valentines next week.
The human brain hasn't evolved quick enough to deal with the insane pace of modern life. Stress. It will consume many more of us as we continually strive for stuff we don't even need.
Go for a walk. Turn your phones off and give your head some space is my advice.
We used to live a simple life not so long ago and we need to go back to elements of that in order to avoid burnout and to refocus on what really matters.

On the subject of toilets, people who can't aim really annoy me.  Twice I have used a cubicle at work this week (they have got rid of the urinals now) we what I can only assume is pee on the floor.  Now I ain't cleaning it up but on both occasions someone was waiting for the cubicle as I left it.  Obviously they will be thinking I left the puddle.

Stupid signs on public toilets, particularly in bars.
Just put men/women, not an artfully drawn representation of the sexes which means the square root of fook all to someone bostin for a piss.
It's not the Krypton Factor, if I have to sign that register again because of it I'll swing for someone.

Shoppers in supermarkets who leave their trolley in the middle of the aisle then wander off looking for something they've missed in a previous aisle. 

Similar to this but this years Christmas Radio Times started on 17/12 and ends on 30/12.  Doesn't even reach new year!

You may be pleased to know I did just that.Taxi driver pulled up just outside my house and threw a cigarette out of the window ,I picked it up knocked his window and when open just chucked it in with a don't drop litter in my street mouthful.
Have to say I did enjoy him jumping around trying to get his lit stub out of his car .

I wouldn't give to any charity who doorstep collect. In fact I did stop contributing to one purely because of this reason. Don't agree with it. Turning up on your doorstep effectively begging for money. It's wrong.

I agree, EE collared me twice in Argos yesterday and the AA do it a lot at supermarkets.  These are massive brands but I think the approach leaves them looking amateurish and desperate.

Why has she only been home a dozen times?

Must have taken some balls to write that and put it down for all to see. Very poignant in places Ronnie.
There was only one but that stood out though for me amongst all
'Im a good lad......'
Your words not mine nor anybody else's. Use this simple phrase and build on it because there is a strong possibility that it's true. You just have to believe it more. Believe in yourself.
 

Other companies that are in the same line of work ?

always for me it something natural .. A beautiful view or an animal, a sunset or sunrise. There are other things of course. 
Remembering the things that inspired a sense of wonder long ago. That sense is still there in all of us but we don't tap into it because life becomes so routine and survival based rather than experience based as it was when you were younger .. Bit random as an answer but going to bed now. ... Night all sweet dreams 

Thanks SillyBilly you talk a lot of sense. I do believe I'm strong enough for a long time. A lot of my family have or had depression and I'm trying to be the one who doesn't get diagnosed for it. At one point the mother was on that strong tablets she hardly any emotions at all. Could of been for the best but was horrible to see. I guess that's why I'm fighting it to keep not exactly pride so to speak but knowing I'm in full control of my emotions. I've took a step back from my situation and keep saying I've got a decent job with decent pay they understand my Type 1 and let me work from home on Hospital dates etc. They do generally look after me. I just wish there was job prospects and an actual team to work in. Will keep trying and fighting for a new job and generally trying to find happiness..
True DCFCFan1 I do tell myself that a lot too.I do tell myself a lot to appreciate what I have. I guess my mind wants more and thrives in socializing. Unfortunately my life isn't quite involved in that at the moment lol.

Understand you mate. But look on the bright side, you have a good job, payrise, supportive girlfriend and a lovely daughter. Much better off than most people in life, some would kill to be in your position
 
Keep fighting mate

Must have taken some balls to write that and put it down for all to see. Very poignant in places Ronnie.
There was only one but that stood out though for me amongst all
'Im a good lad......'
Your words not mine nor anybody else's. Use this simple phrase and build on it because there is a strong possibility that it's true. You just have to believe it more. Believe in yourself.
 

Must have taken some balls to write that and put it down for all to see. Very poignant in places Ronnie.
There was only one but that stood out though for me amongst all
'Im a good lad......'
Your words not mine nor anybody else's. Use this simple phrase and build on it because there is a strong possibility that it's true. You just have to believe it more. Believe in yourself.
 

Must have taken some balls to write that and put it down for all to see. Very poignant in places Ronnie.
There was only one but that stood out though for me amongst all
'Im a good lad......'
Your words not mine nor anybody else's. Use this simple phrase and build on it because there is a strong possibility that it's true. You just have to believe it more. Believe in yourself.
 

I find myself reading this thread more than the main forum these days.
Everybody is different, everyone of us handles things differently. I'm at the stage similar to @David managed to turn things around but still occasionally angry with myself for "losing" the 2 years I lost.
Like Ramit, I find writing poetry helps a lot and it was probably writing and then reading back this over and over that helped me snap out of it, made me remember that underneath it all, I'm a good lad.
Love You
What do you do when you've stopped loving you?
When you hate yourself for the things that you do and don’t do.
When you keep punishing yourself for all that you’ve done.
When those you loved have left you. When they've long since gone.

When you see your own reflection and hate the way that you look.
When you’re ashamed to admit that you couldn’t give a ****.
When you don’t go to bed 'cos you can’t face the dreams you have while sleeping
When you hate the thought of waking up cos all you do is keep on weeping.

When you can’t stand to look at yourself through your own eyes.
When your disgust is focused on one person and it’s you, you despise.
When you open your own mouth and all you hear is lie after lie
When you’ve given up on yourself so badly, that you don’t even try.

When you tell those around you, that of course you’re alright.
When you’re secretly wishing they’d just get out of your sight.
When you can’t admit that you’re not feeling well to anyone who asks.
When you can’t even begin to complete the simplest of tasks.

When it’s been so long since anything went right.
When you know deep inside you can no longer fight.
When you go four or five days without taking a shower.
When you can’t move from your room, cos you don’t have the power.

So please God come and tell me what should I do?
Have You ever been to that place when You’ve stopped loving You?
Why can’t I stop hating everything about me?
Why can’t I open my eyes to the good stuff, why can’t I let myself see?

When will I stop trying to hide?
When will I stop dying inside?
Whatever it is that I’m trying, I’ve still had no luck.
I’m still lying, I’m still crying and I still don’t give a ****.

What do you do when you no longer love you?
Please don’t ask me cos I haven't got a clue.
All I can do is keep my eyes open day after day.
And hope the self-loathing vanishes, keep praying it goes away.

i am better at talking about how i am feeling than writing about it, but if i do i make it into a poem
Some weeks, this is me
Bleak
i am so sad and i don't know why
something good has passed me by
and every thought within my head
is poisoned by a pitch black dread

i am so tired and i cannot sleep
my anguish is intense and deep
and thinking of it i have observed
something inside say it's deserved

i am so bewildered am feeling ill
i swear it's all against my will
i want to break free into the light
but feel too weak to put up a fight

i am so afraid that i will fail
to escape out of this awful jail
pray to God to give me strength
and help me go to any length
 

Nothing against fat women, just their clothing choices.

Not being able to play left to right in any football game, either FiFa or Pes, I have to hold on with a hardcore defensive display until I change ends, what's that all about?

Hogan was signed from Rochdale for peanuts and given an opportunity in the Bees first team.
Why would we spend millions on him when we could do the same with the umpteen players in the lower leagues with the potential of doing exactly the same?
I'd rather us found them than paying somebody else 5 million plus for doing the same thing.

Nah. 

Why just get rid of a genuinely class centre half? Its a squad game.

If Rawson were good enough, there'd be no one in his way. Forget about that. Shackell has not suddenly become a poor centre half, its just that Pearce has done exceptionally well. We need Shackell, I'm sure he'll prove vital at the business end of the season.