Tony Le Mesmer

I've kept away from posting on this thread for about 9 months but I always read the new posts with interest. Its such an amazing thread with cyber strangers opening up about their fears and life problems, uniquely heartwarming I find it - and proof that a lot of us 'normal' folk do have issues that feel good to share once the courage has been raised to do so. 
With the talk being about therapy I thought I'd add my positive experience to maybe help persuade anybody thinking about it to take the plunge and go for it.  
I went through counseling for PTSD, some of it was with the NHS and the bulk of it privately (i was fortunate enough to have it funded through insurance). They both helped, but in my experience the private therapy was more focused on my requirements. 
Its good to talk to a stranger, let it all out, they won't judge you, they will see the root cause of your problem and offer practical self help to resolve it. There is no magic wand, you've got to want to overcome your issue and have some determination to succeed. Experienced therapist's will have probably come across your problem with other patients and have numerous techniques to help you overcome them. The CBT helped for me, its a circular way of addressing your issues and slowly reprogramming the brain and thought processes to help you overcome the issue.
I learnt some good, simple coping techniques to help me combat my anxieties, basic stuff like breathing techniques, take slow deep breath's in through the nose and breathe out slowly through the mouth. Sounds daft but it helped me. When I was anxious or getting agitated composing myself and breathing correctly really helped. I was still bricking it about the cause but as @Tony Le Mesmer pointed out the more you put yourself through the cause of your anxiety the less difficult it becomes. Sometimes for me things went wrong and it left me a nervous wreck and set me back a few days or weeks but you have to persevere to get past the anxiety.  Or take the easy way out and avoid the situations that cause the anxiety. I did this for ages but as my fear was traveling in vehicles the excuses for not going anywhere where wearing thin. At the start I couldn't get to the end of our street without throwing up or having cold sweats and feeling faint, but over time and with sympathetic driving from whomever was driving me around (I was unable to drive at the time due to various broken bones, plaster casts and metal bolts/wires hanging out of me) my situation improved. Its still not perfect, I don't think it will ever return to my pre-accident level, but at least I'm able to travel around again and not make excuses.
If anybody is looking for a therapist make sure they have a good armoury of skills, some will have one or two techniques and they might not be the right ones for you - go to one that covers all aspects, unless you know the specific one you need.
I saw a therapist in Derby that had as long a list of BSC's and diploma's as your likely to see, she is in her mid fifties so has plenty of experience, she covered everything even hypnosis! 

Like going to Derby games. Hustle and bustle, thousands of people milling around, some shouting, some walking into you. I particularly dislike the moment i enter the busy concourse once through the turnstile. It's really just a rush to get through the sea of people and up the stairs to my seat. Once i'm sat down then i'm fine. I managed to get an end seat. There is absolutely no way i could sit and watch a match stuck in the middle of a row of people. Just couldn't do it. At lower league clubs i'm fine but at Derby or other packed places forget it. I'm the same in the cinema. Got to have an end seat.
That's why away games worry me because I need to be guaranteed an end seat and I'm not sure I they can be allocated like this. Maybe if I explained I have an anxiety disorder and it was a necessity otherwise I couldn't go would help but I'm not sure.
I would have been to an away game by now but it's really because of this I haven't but didn't want to admit it to anybody. I was waiting for maybe Brighton or somewhere miles away where there would be plenty of seats unsold that I could move to if I felt uncomfortable. Anyway. Sometimes I get really frustrated as for most they just get up on a match day, go out and can't wait for the day to unfold and don't give it a second thought. For me, it's a military operation riddled with doubts and anxiety. Must admit though I've been a lot better than I expected before the season kicked off. It's getting easier each game as I get used to surroundings and routine and it helps being sat around the guaranteed same people most weeks as the anxiety about getting lumbered next to some drunken neanderthal hipster beardy types swearing and going on about fanny every two minutes isn't there.
That's the key to beating anxiety. Keep forcing yourself into situations that you struggle with and gradually your brain will acclimatise and accept that the situation isn't a threat anymore and the anxiety will reduce. It's easier said than done but there is no way anxiety will win over football. Never.

I've had talking therapies. First time i didn't really 'get it' and just went away having not really benefitted. What's important is that you arm yourself with a load of books about CBT, depression etc and really get an understanding as to how your brain works effecting your thinking patterns, mood and indeed mental AND physical health. Without this prior knowledge underpinning your awareness then you'll struggle to gain any benefits. You have to be open to learning and understanding how the mind works IMO.
I've had good and bad therapies but i have to say that Derbyshire offers the best and most varied services I've encountered. If you live in North Yorkshire or Doncaster then best of luck with that.
Having said that I feel the therapy is too short lived and it's easy to relapse back into old patterns without the ongoing support. Once a week for an hour or so for 6-12 weeks is not a comprehensive and ongoing supportive time period to combat and challenge deep rooted behavioural thinking and therefore I would hazard a guess that many people who have had some form of CBT or / and counselling have certainly needed to have more than one block of sessions.
As I've said though, reading around the subject can help so so much and allows you to take things in in your own time.
My anxiety is gradually decreasing due to the fact that I'm not giving myself a hard time anymore. It's my brain and it's thinking patterns that are the problem and not me as a person and it's not my fault. It's the fault of my brain interpreting a situation as dangerous when in fact it isn't and therefore my body is kickstarted and primed for a battle when in reality I'm simply stood in a long queue getting agitated as it's one of those that wind round so you have to face people on either side. I hate those and they make me nervous so my body gets me ready to run away from all the zombiefied people in the post office queue when in reality i am in no real danger.
Situations like that happen all the time and therefore i am constantly living on cortisol overdose which makes it difficult to lead a normal life when in actual fact you are pretty 'normal' anyway.
 
 
 
 

I've had talking therapies. First time i didn't really 'get it' and just went away having not really benefitted. What's important is that you arm yourself with a load of books about CBT, depression etc and really get an understanding as to how your brain works effecting your thinking patterns, mood and indeed mental AND physical health. Without this prior knowledge underpinning your awareness then you'll struggle to gain any benefits. You have to be open to learning and understanding how the mind works IMO.
I've had good and bad therapies but i have to say that Derbyshire offers the best and most varied services I've encountered. If you live in North Yorkshire or Doncaster then best of luck with that.
Having said that I feel the therapy is too short lived and it's easy to relapse back into old patterns without the ongoing support. Once a week for an hour or so for 6-12 weeks is not a comprehensive and ongoing supportive time period to combat and challenge deep rooted behavioural thinking and therefore I would hazard a guess that many people who have had some form of CBT or / and counselling have certainly needed to have more than one block of sessions.
As I've said though, reading around the subject can help so so much and allows you to take things in in your own time.
My anxiety is gradually decreasing due to the fact that I'm not giving myself a hard time anymore. It's my brain and it's thinking patterns that are the problem and not me as a person and it's not my fault. It's the fault of my brain interpreting a situation as dangerous when in fact it isn't and therefore my body is kickstarted and primed for a battle when in reality I'm simply stood in a long queue getting agitated as it's one of those that wind round so you have to face people on either side. I hate those and they make me nervous so my body gets me ready to run away from all the zombiefied people in the post office queue when in reality i am in no real danger.
Situations like that happen all the time and therefore i am constantly living on cortisol overdose which makes it difficult to lead a normal life when in actual fact you are pretty 'normal' anyway.
 
 
 
 

Yes Tony I agree..Lineker and Manish, both biased Leicester ***** but at least the former has played the game, not sure what the later has done to qualify for the role..
Gotta agree about the Championship coverage on channel 5 aswell, though it has improved slightly from the embarrassing first season.

Çhannel 5 coverage of the Championship and Leagues 1 & 2 is utter garbage. The presenters have absolutely no skills other than an ability to read an idiot board and as for the 'studio guests' - they sit there like zombies. For all its' faults, MotD remains streets ahead for highlights presentation, particularly now they appear to have dumped Mark 'everything I say has to be funny' Lawrenson. 

Manish on MOTD always annoys me..

once you are on them, it is very very hard to go off them and they do have their side effects! You want to avoid that road if possible and leave it as a last resort. Physcological help is much much better
 
And haha lady luck, its  not that important, Ive made peace with it so its fine. 

Thanks for that buddy and sorry to hear about your lady luck! Really interesting what you mentioned about the anti-depressants as well. I was speaking to a friend last night who was on them for a year and a bit but just took himself off them and has barely felt a difference. I imagine they're probably what I might be offered but think I'd rather try the whole talking it out thing to begin with, seens as not talking is probably partly the reason I'm seeing the doc in the first place!

a man of your calibre won't be unemployed for long me owd mucka.

Anxiety is what does for me and looking back,it has done since I was a little boy.
I used to worry about the most irrational unlikely things for weeks on end.
I'm in a high pressure job now where I'm expected to be the decisive one who makes decisions, takes responsibility and be strong but there are days where I just want to crawl into a dark space and hide away from it all and feel totally drained of any go or enthusiasm.
Worse thing is anxiety turning every situations I've dealt with into enormous problems i.e what if this or that happens etc,etc until I've actually convinced myself something bad could happen....despite there being no reason to think it.my mind seems to then go through every conceivable scenario endlessly until I'm my brain feels totally worn out.
Once I'm in the grip of a worry,it can last weeks or months until it's replaced by another one with no basis.
I can then go for a week or two thinking it's gone away until the irrational worry starts again.
Funnily enough,colleagues and friends seem to think I'm one of the most cheerful upbeat people they know and i suppose I am outwardly.
This is the first time I've ever spoke to anyone,as such,about this and I'm finding it extremely difficult to not just delete it immediately and keep it to myself but seeing other people's responses on here has helped.
 

That's more like it!

With Trumps inauguration just round the corner, waking each day without discovering my house hasn't been incinerated in a nuclear fire ball will put a smile on my face...
#livelifewhilewecan  

WHAT YOU TRYING TO SAY? ARE YOU TAKING THE P OR SOMETHING? ALL VERY WELL GETTING STROPPY ON AN INTERNET FORUM, BLOODY KEYBOARD WARRIORS..
 
 
Nah, the anger still seems to be fine .. 

Do you think I need to lose weight?
Are you happy to cover my shift this weekend ?
She's not attractive is she? 
You don't mind if we have a chat tonight?
Hey, you've not seen the photos of my kids..Would you like to see them?
 
You got a death wish!!

I like it when they ask a newly appointed manager, at his first press conference, 
'Do you think you are the right man for the job? '

Banal press questioning.
Reporter to Spurs boss Pochettino after their 4-1 win at Watford earlier......
"How important was it to win today given the other teams around you are doing so well?"
JESUS!!!

Ok. Get the idea guys.......

Ok. Get the idea guys.......

Well, I've always found a bed and chair/settee to be useful. Pots and pans and a cooker too. Mrs Ilkley has her moments; I like having the kids and dogs but I would accept that I don't necessarily need them in a purist sense.
otherwise I think I'm with you Tony.
oh, and a season ticket of course

I gave up going on Facebook and it felt like a big cloud had lifted from me. 
On the other hand it may have had something to do with Derby winning 7 on the bounce.

The things you own end up owning you.

Oh yeah, well said.
We have a competition on how young and how expensive we can lavesh phones upon them, I am currently receiving the cold shoulder because I have refused to upgrade my daughters perfectly perfect phone for the latest phone that Izzy's mum has bought her, I have restricted data roaming and tethered her WiFi to stop her zombifying behavior and actually teaching her to speak to her parents once in a while, I would ban any mobile phone to anyone under the age of 18