mattylad

Anxiety is what does for me and looking back,it has done since I was a little boy.
I used to worry about the most irrational unlikely things for weeks on end.
I'm in a high pressure job now where I'm expected to be the decisive one who makes decisions, takes responsibility and be strong but there are days where I just want to crawl into a dark space and hide away from it all and feel totally drained of any go or enthusiasm.
Worse thing is anxiety turning every situations I've dealt with into enormous problems i.e what if this or that happens etc,etc until I've actually convinced myself something bad could happen....despite there being no reason to think it.my mind seems to then go through every conceivable scenario endlessly until I'm my brain feels totally worn out.
Once I'm in the grip of a worry,it can last weeks or months until it's replaced by another one with no basis.
I can then go for a week or two thinking it's gone away until the irrational worry starts again.
Funnily enough,colleagues and friends seem to think I'm one of the most cheerful upbeat people they know and i suppose I am outwardly.
This is the first time I've ever spoke to anyone,as such,about this and I'm finding it extremely difficult to not just delete it immediately and keep it to myself but seeing other people's responses on here has helped.
 

Missus' childhood friend gets married. So that's already £200+ for stag weekend with loads of blokes you don't know or like...similar expenditure for missus on the hen-do BEFORE you even start. Then £150 for hotel for the wedding, £150 for new dress/shoes for her, £50 for present... £80 on overpriced drinks on the day. Listen to loads of speeches from people you don't know whilst starving and uncomfortable (too tight suit as you refused to spend even more money) sat with people you don't know..except from one bloke and his missus who they probably think you got on ok with on stag-do. Crappy disco and hanging around until you can slip away and get to bed. 
What's not to like?
 

I hope you give them the same room as you do a car when overtaking as stated in the laws of the road.....just a wild stab in the dark, i am guessing you don't.
Cyclists are not supposed to "hug the roadside" they have just as much right as a moron in a car to ride in the centre of the carriageway.
Car drivers.....rudest, most selfish people on the planet, that they are slowly gassing to death with their toxic fumes.
Fact. Of all the car drivers that have ever commented on my cycling every single one of them has been a ******** of the absolute highest order and should be lined up against a wall and reversed into with a truck load of pig poop.

I've remained fairly silent in this thread, not really wanting to jump in as I may come across as an ******** and offend someone when it's not my intention at all. Members that have been on this forum for a long time will know I was diagnosed with sever anxiety where I barely left the house for around 5 years, my girlfriend at the time left me and I was a complete mess. So I'm only talking from personal experience combined with what I read over the years, I'm certainly no medical expert or will ever claim to be.
Erase the word depression from your dictionary, it's a word that is a huge umbrella trying to cover many issues, some of which may not even be mental disorders. It's an awful word and one that is used too lightly in everyday conversations. There isn't even any clear guidelines as to what "depression" is.
I could walk into a doctors this morning and within 5 minutes walk out with a anti depressants prescription and signed off work with very little effort and those twice a day before meal tablets will make you feel better but they are also masking the root cause of what is making you unhappy.
Analogy time, you're in debt, bills keep rolling through the door, final payment demand letters and you're putting them straight in the bin without warning. At some point those unopened letters will end up in bigger problems with bailiffs banging at your door.
Best thing to do? open the letters and deal with them, make the call, explain your situation and that's exactly what you should do if you are feeling unhappy, talk to a loved one, explain how you're feeling and break down in tears if you need to, just be completely open with them and hide nothing. Those sleepless nights are you trying to deal with things alone, all the lads will know this but how good does it feel when you unload on to the missus?.......this is no different, unload those thoughts as well and you will feel 10x better I swear. (If you are single you will need a close friend, family member or relative to unload on but just the thoughts, they may not appreciate the other)
Next step is to make changes, if you look back through this topic many possibly without realising have listed the root causes to their unhappiness, change it. Change isn't always easy but neither is sleepless nights and going through days thinking whats the point of me even being here. 
For some it may take weeks, months of talking to get down to the root cause but there always is a root cause for most people. Theres always that one thing be it your wife, job that you can change.
You only live once, no second chances at all this, the days, weeks, months soon mount up and wether you're young or old it's time you will never get back. I lost pretty much 5 years of my twenties, kick myself in the balls everyday for that, time lost as I chose to be the man and try to deal with those little issues by myself which snowballed into one huge ****** that blocked the front door.
Never no matter what age just accept it's part of you, just the way you are!
Just to end on I do realise that sometimes people have issues where change and talking won't help, they are wired up wrong and need medical help. Also feeling unhappy can be down to a loved one where change is not an option, death unfortunately is a part of life that is not always easy to get your head around when it happens to someone close. 

Have to agree. There are a couple of teams forums I've used in the past and a few I haven't but still check in on daily and the amount of abuse and bickering that goes on between fans OF THE SAME CLUB is tragic. That's all it seems to be on thread after thread and it gets sad and tiresome.
This forum mostly I have found to be filled with fans of varying backgrounds and opinions like Jono said but each willing to listen to one another and try to help too if need be. Rarely do folk get abusive or obnoxious and that is despite Derby being a big club and therefore the site having many many more users than many clubs. You'd have thought you'd get a fair selection of knobs but no. Everyone is friendly and there for help and advice about anything if needed. Even hard to talk about things like depression and addictions. Nobody judges.
Spot on Jono. It's a great and fun place to be and that's credit to all the Derby fans that use it and of course Dave and the mods that help run it.

This forum .. No I really mean it. I am conversing on a regular basis with folk from numerous different backgrounds and with political, social and sporting beliefs that aren't the same. Yet we all get on pretty damn well. There is a fantastic, fun, sometimes combative exchange of opinion but always in a brilliantly open self policed way. Yeah, we have our "mates" of like mind but it is great to come across a different view and have your own shifted just a few degrees because someone has made you think outside your own boundaries. 
Jeees I really am thinking of parting with some folding stuff as a gesture of support and become a plus or whatever it is.
owners / operators take a bow. 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/top-tory-funder-runs-high-cost-loans-company-8656356.html
Two of the bosses - Beecroft of Wonga, and Angest of Everyday Loans - are massive Tory donors.
The latter even provided Cameron with a £5m overdraft, at 3.5%.
Something something political elite

Gotta pull you up here mate though!
Sturridge has the most  totally annoying celebration going...sticks his toblue out and then does a really naff caterpillar thing with his arms.

People throwing cigarette butts out of their car at the lights, or elsewhere for that matter.
How many times have I envisioned getting out of my car, picking that butt up off the road, knocking on the window, and sticking that thing up your nose.

One from a few year back..

Unspoken "sharing" of a milli second of life with your fellow human beings .. I was sitting in a queue of traffic a couple of summers back .. Failed traffic lights or something .. Watching the world go by as we crept forward inch by inch. Then walking on the pavement a pretty woman strolling along with a smile and suitably summer clothes. ....Just nice to see, in a none pervy but defo  masculine appreciation of the fairer sex sort of way .. Then looking in my mirror to see the bloke behind me had seen the same .. And eyes met with a grin of brotherly acknowledgment .. A kind of "I thought the same mate" 

Once in Huddersfield ASDA a lazy fatty tried to get into one of the shop provided mobility scooters and drive off.  They hadn't realised it was plugged in and it went bang!  I think they lost some of their significant weight in that few seconds.

I honestly thought nobody watched any of that shide. Was shocked to go into my work's Sheffield office and hear all the women talking about it, like it matters. Essex, Chelsea, Gogglebox... I can honestly say I've not seen a single minute of any. 

This thread is incredible, never seen it before. Amazing what people have been posting. Hope everyone has benefited from it and kudos for Mostyn for starting it.
Not sure if it's been mentioned on this thread, but do the club get involved much in mental health awareness?  Could be a good place to reach people who are struggling.

no problem, but trust me, reading some of the posts in this thread has helped me come on leaps and bounds, and quite selfishly, cos it perhaps feels somewhat inappropriate, I haven't credited those that bared their personal issues for helping me deal with mine. There are plenty though, from the communicating side of things, to lifestyle, diet, medication, exercise etc etc

I was hesitant to post this on here incase it comes across that I'm attention seeking but I can assure you I'm not, I just need to get this off my chest somewhere. I don't want to say that I think I have a form of depression as such because I don't believe that's fair on people who genuinely have it but over the last year or so I've been really down. I don't know what the particular cause of it was, maybe a collection of factors such as stresses with work or such but every day seems like a slog to get through. Even the so called good things that I used to like doing before now make me upset and down now and it feels like a ton of bricks have just fallen upon me. The good days are ok but the bad days which seem to be on a regular basis now are really ****. I now more pessimistic than I ever have been in my life. I don't feel that I can talk to any family relatives or friends because I feel they won't understand and I'm hesitant to even get a diagnosis from the doctors because I had some problems when I was younger which were just brushed off by them. I've tried doing physical activities like lifting weights which I must admit helped for a short while to take my mind off things but even doing that seems like a slog. Sorry for this massive piece of text but can anyone with similar experiences in the past possibly give me advice about how to get through this period? I thought this was just what every normal person experiences but I'm convinced it's something more than that

I've been wanting to post in here for nearly a week but not quite built up the courage until now.  I have had a slight history with depression initially diagnosed in 2009 as Stress, Depression and Anxiety - although I am not sure what ratios I was suffering with each of them or how long I had actually been ill.  Back then it was related my mum being diagnosed with a terminal illness and being made redundant and the confidence issues related to that.  I had tablets from the doctor and with a couple of small setbacks have been pretty good for most of the time since.
 
Then on Monday there was a change at work, our MD and his number 2 have been made redundant our team are moving to be part of another.  This has created a massive worry for me.  It is filling all my thoughts, I am losing my appetite, struggling to sleep, not enjoying things that I previously love and not wanting to be alone as that is thinking time.  My question is, when does being worried about something become something more serious?
It has brought home how my job - which is probably 75-80% of the family income - underpins everything we as a family have and I just keep replaying thoughts of everything we could lose.

Feel for you mate. I do.
There's lots of good advice on here but the best I can give you is don't try and get through it on your own. Most of us have tried and (for most of us) it doesn't work.
I had hardly any support from people. I kept it from friends and most family, as we weren't the sort of family who shared feelings and thoughts. My (then) wife didn't seem overly bothered by it either though she could see what it was doing to me. My way out was via medication.
Once I was starting to feel better, though, I opened up to my family about it and it has had the most dramatic effect on our relationship. My family now do talk more about stuff and I found out about my mum's past anxiety and the time when my (farmer) dad was close to walking off down the field with his sheepdog & shot gun and not coming back again.
Powerful stuff. Talking.

As a former secret smoker for many years I used to do it all the time in the car. The tip was to have the drivers window down a couple of inches and the fan on high & directed to your feet. Worked a treat and I never got caught having a smelly car.
Obviously had the compulsory breath freshening menthol sweets and alcohol handwash. Sad really.

Indeed....
 
Toiletiquette: The Unwritten Rules Of The Men’s Public Toilets
By : Alex Bentley | 17/02/15
3.5k Shares
 
Men’s toilets can be a confusing place. There are some scary smells and questionable stains. But there are some unwritten rules that sometimes get overlooked. Don’t break them.
We’ve all got several public toilet related anecdotes. You don’t want to feature in anybody else’s.
Which urinal do you use?
If the room is empty, this is an easy one. You use the one at the far end. If you are second in, you use the one on the opposite end. That’s just how it is. If both are taken, you use one in the middle, but not next to one of the lads who got there before you. If there is no urinal left that isn’t directly next to somebody, you may opt to go in a cubicle.
Obviously you leave the door wide open if you do that so that nobody else tries to go in. If you absolutely HAVE to go, and need to use a urinal right next to somebody, then the following rule becomes extra important.
Avoid eye contact, and no talking.
You look straight ahead as much as possible. If you DO look at another lad when they walk in, be careful where your eyes aim. Don’t check out their trainers, your eyes must not go low. And keep quiet. Don’t be that bell end that talks in there. Announcing your entrance with a **** joke like “Wooo! So THIS is where all the ***** hang out!” will not make you popular.
 
Do you wash your hands?
Yes, if somebody else is in there. Otherwise, only if you’ve got wee on them. Don’t pretend you wash them every time, you don’t and that’s okay.
Don’t whistle or sing.
You’re not at home. Whistling is annoying as ****. And CERTAINLY don’t if you are in the cubicle having a poo. That is just extra weird.
Don’t text at the urinal.
You don’t want to get wee on your phone. And it’s also sod’s law that you’ll drop it. Plus it’s kind of weird to text your mates while touching your knob. This rule does not apply in a cubicle though. Using your phone while having a poo is absolutely essential.
Don’t unzip until you’re stood at the urinal.
This should be obvious, but wait until you’re at the urinal to get your tool out. Any earlier is just odd. Similarly, put it away before you turn around. It is optional, but preferred if you can sort your flies and belt out before you turn around. But definitely no willy in the open area of the bogs. Absolutely never.
Use the mirror sparingly.
You’re not a girl. You don’t have time for it. A quick glance to check that your hair doesn’t look like a burst sofa is fine. But don’t spend ages in there styling it, you will look like a muppet. Don’t check out your gym progress, and definitely don’t pop spots in there either. It’s grim.
 
There are some other things to remember that don’t require any explanations…
The phone number that is given on the back of the cubicle door offering BJs, probably isn’t an attractive woman. Or a woman at all.
If you enter a cubicle and it’s unflushed and full, leave it that way and use a different cubicle.
If you MUST spit a big greeny, make sure it’s in the urinal, not on the wall. Don’t be that guy.
Always check there is toilet roll before you sit down. It’s not like you can shout your housemate from downstairs.
DON’T SPLASH YOUR OWN OR ANYONE ELSE’S TRAINERS.
Don’t try to make friends with everyone in there. In and out. Let the girls spend half their night in the toilets talking to strangers.

Waking up without a hangover 
BJs
A falafel sandwich 
 

I am a big fan of doing random acts of kindness.

when you get pistachio nuts that you cannot open! 

When your barber first offers to trim your eyebrows is another unwelcome sign.