rhysbeck

i wish i could do as you fine folks, give good advice to those in need and be there for them.  i read what a troubled forum member writes and i want to help out and write something sensible or comforting but i just can't do it.  Have tried a few times but always deleted it.  i used to think it was because i am too self obsessed, some sort of psycho, that i don't really care about people, but i am understanding it better now, i don't feel i am worthy to give any advice or comfort, it feels fraudulent.  It's self loathing really. 
i am going through a tough couple of days now, hope it won't be much longer than that, it usually isn't.  It's just so frustrating, wanting to spread kindness and be supportive and being unable to.  i know it would also help me if i could do it. 
You who give of yourself to alleviate the pain of your fellow forum members, i admire you very much.  You possess a quality of great value.
 

Yes thanks, mate. But you wouldn't believe my final diagnosis.
To cut a long, drawn out story short...
I did a lot of weights for headspace time, and the fact I like being on my own. And its supposed to be good for beating depression.
I got pretty big, but then had a tough period, which is when I cried out for help on here. To get big I had to eat protein and I ate loads of tuna. 2 tins a day, actually.
I went to the doctors with lethargy and suspected depression, again, earlier this year. Blood tests taken as a precaution showed up problems. Went to a specialist, been diagnosed with mercury poisoning from the tuna.
So the hobby I used to beat my depression was actually making me more depressed and killing me lol.
I'm feeling much better now. But the way my head worked during those really dark times earlier this year makes me now help anybody I can. It was a ******* eye opener. 
To all those who commented and showed they cared at the time was ******* brilliant. I posted my original post and then logged off fearing I would be reacted to negatively. 
I thank @Mostyn6 in my head everytime this thread reemerges. It gave me the strength to find out answers and get better. And to everyone who responded first time.
So to the poster today, if you're reading. Hang in there, mate. Take the boost you might get from people listening and understanding how you feel, and use it. Whether it gives you the energy to get through tomorrow or to get back to the doctors. Just keep talking. We will be here.

Just please keep talking, mate. Even if it's on here. There's nothing to fear in posting in this thread. We're strangers, i know, but if we care, then think how much your girlfriend will.
Believe me.

The perfect breakfast.

I had a Chris Martin one. Lent it to some bloke in London... I better get it back. Tea in my Darren Bent one has not been quite the same.

The missus got me this for when we lose.

My work mug - hence the message!

Coming Soon.....How GOOD are your Rams Knickers?

I believe mine is rather marvellous. I've had it for 40+ years and it's never been used either.

I use photobucket.com - upload the photo to this then 'insert other media' and copy the link here.
I prefer the traditional back 4. Two big lads in the middle. The left-back is getting on a bit and has a long term injury but he still does the job.

Just checking in...been a lot better lately but for some reason tonight something flipped a switch and it all came flooding back. All the negativity and misery consumed me for a good half hour/hour and I did something I'm not proud of. I immediately regretted it - hence why I now find myself here.
Aside from that I actually found something that massively helped me lately and that was painting (art not decorating lol). I'm a keen artist and haven't picked up a brush in a couple of years but its fair to say that doing so saved me in many respects. It offered me an escape - somewhere I could totally forget about my troubles and focus on one thing only. Ironically the picture I decided to paint bears a lot of meaning to the causes of my depression but I really feel that it has provided a massive release for me. I have found the whole process of doing this hugely cathartic but honestly feel it has helped and that's where I realise it could help others too. 
I'm not saying that painting is the cure to everyone's problems - but I feel like doing something you truly love and can set your mind to (especially something you love, but haven't had the time to do) can really help lift you up a little. Maybe its writing a song or making music - whatever you find best or you really enjoy. My only advice would be to do that. For me it has helped me express my sadness, the painting feels like a physical embodiment/representation of my issues and that now I've flushed them out onto the canvas, I can maybe get rid of them in some way. Like I say - this may not be for everyone but doing something like this can really help. 
I hope you're all doing as well as possible, LboroRAM x

Bexley flag spotted at 2nd ODI vs West Indies:

Chesterfield and South Wingfield CC flags spotted at the 3rd ODI in Bridgetown:

 

 

Make yourself look like a bit of a bellsniff by:
Honking your horn when sat in a queue of traffic (varying from 0-7mph) because the car directly infront of you hasn't immediately driven up the arse of the car infront of them the very second they've had the chance to move.
Make yourself look like even more of a jeb end by:
Overtaking said car 'holding you back' (thus reaching speeds of a whopping 10mph) to gain 1 solitary space in line.
Make yourself look a complete and utter shitsausage of the highest order by:
Pulling out onto the other side of the road, overtaking 4-5 cars to jump the queue (you're still not ******* going anywhere) and then honking your horn/remonstrating at the people who've waited patiently in line when they refuse to let you back in, as you hold up the oncoming traffic on the side of the road, as if they/anyone other than you is somehow in the wrong.
It was nice seeing you in my rear view mirror as we waited at the traffic lights further down the hill. I hope your face stays the colour of the purple headed warrior you so clearly are for the rest of your liife.

I've never understood the saying ' Have your cake and eat It '  for the same reason. Of course you're gonna eat it. You ain't gonna just look at it and then throw it away. Unless you're anorexic I suppose. 
 

My library getting nominated for an award from the NCLA.Happy and proud all our hard work is being recognized.

My mrs falling over the puppy (50kg puppy)when she got up early to go to work.
Went down like she had been hit by a sniper.
Needless to say it was my fault.

Winning on a scratch-off lottery ticket.Won $50 bucks on one earlier this morning.

Are you telling me I've been avoiding spotted dick for nothing?

Ducks in general.  But more so when you see them out of context - sitting on your house roof, crossing a road etc.
Always makes me smile.

Just relaxing in my downstairs den listening to some music with one of my dogs, Roxy.

I don't know why but I find the shooting stars meme hilarious.
LA Galaxy's Twitter got in on the act when someone dived against them.
 

I tend to find 8 cans of Stella, a bottle of Buckfast and a scowl is accepted as reservation enough.

Make sure they're non-stick coasters!       or at least not cork or plastic cuz those things always end up stuck to bottom of anything Im drinking whether it be tea or beer. Worst part is when its already wet from the condensation and I lift my drink up and it unsticks/falls off before Ive noticed and it immediately lands in my lap or something