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EtoileSportiveDeDerby

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  1. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Stive Pesley in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)   
    I'm building a new factory to manufacture vibrators
    Asked the bank for a business loan and my bank manager questioned whether there was enough demand for my product to warrant a whole factory
    I told him - If i build it....they will come
  2. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to FindernRam in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)   
    Sayings by famous people--maybe:
    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' 
    Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
     
    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'  
    Eleanor Roosevelt  
    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. 
    Mark Twain
     
    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
    George Burns 
     
    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. 
    Victor Borge 
     
    Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. 
    Mark Twain 
     
    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. 
    Socrates 
     
    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. 
    Groucho Marx 
     
    My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. 
    Jimmy Durante 
     
    I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. 
    Zsa Zsa Gabor 
     
    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
    alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.  
    Alex Levine 
    My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.  
    Rodney Dangerfield 
     
    Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.  
    Spike Milligan 
     
    Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. 
    Joe Namath 
     
    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. 
    Bob Hope 
    I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.  
    W. C. Fields 
     
    We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.   
    Will Rogers   
    Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you. 
    Winston Churchill 
     
    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.  
    Phyllis Diller  
    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.  
    Billy Crystal 
    And the cardiologist's diet: -  If it tastes good spit it out. 
    May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
  3. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to King Kevin in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)   
    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

    'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.  'Promise me you won't tell me.' 

    Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

    The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
     
     At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. 
     
     When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. 
     
     If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for.' 
  4. Clap
  5. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to DarkFruitsRam7 in Random stuff that cheers me up thread   
    Finishing 2nd-year exams.
  6. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to FindernRam in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)   
    No matter how dull your job there are ways to make it more interesting.
  7. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from GboroRam in Beer Thread   
    Eddie is the man, clearly...but all I would like to add is that the difference  I find between Belgian beer and some of the stronger stuff you get here is that they actually taste nice but not necessarily strong. The net result is that once you 've had a few you can get get p!ssed before you know it.
    Enjoy, they do have wonderful beers!
  8. Cheers
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from Kinder in Beer Thread   
    Eddie is the man, clearly...but all I would like to add is that the difference  I find between Belgian beer and some of the stronger stuff you get here is that they actually taste nice but not necessarily strong. The net result is that once you 've had a few you can get get p!ssed before you know it.
    Enjoy, they do have wonderful beers!
  9. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Eddie in Beer Thread   
    If it's strength you want, then Samichlaus is worth looking at. Very expensive, but exquisite. I have a couple on order which I have never had before, one of which is Schwarzes, a black lager tipping the scales at 14%. Austrian, of course.
    My favourite English beer is, without a doubt, Tynt Meadow, brewed at Mount St Bernard monastery, near Coalville, so it's our only Trappist beer. Not strong (7.5%), but a huge flavour bomb. It's an English-style dark/brown ale (think Robinsons Old Tom), but I think they use a Belgian yeast which gives it a wonderfully complex aroma and flavour.
    Tynt Meadow first saw the light of day about 2 years ago, and really it wasn't that great. I think they had yeast problems, and the beer just didn't really cut it. Six months later, I tried another one, and the difference was substantial. I put that down to bottle-aging and the beer maturing over time, so I started buying the odd box from the monastery. It just seemed to get better and better, and now I think it's world class. Even the young bottles are delicious.
  10. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Anag Ram in Random stuff that people do that annoy me   
    W - the chemical symbol for tungsten 
    An - the Sumerian god of heaven
    K - Potassium, the most helpful mineral in the body 
    ER - where I'd like to put Elon Musk. 
  11. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from OoooMarkWright in Watchable telly   
    "The last dance" on Netflix, story of Michael Jordan and Chicago Bulls. Obviously better if you are into basket ball but if you just like sports documentaries this is as good as it gets. Great insight into supremely talented athletes and their drive to reach and stay at the top. Can't wait for final 2 episodes next week.
  12. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from Eddie in What are you eating tonight   
    An oeuf is enough
  13. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to maxjam in Star Wars   
    As a young boy Star Wars was the first movie my Dad took me to see at the cinema, before that (and youngun's won't realise this) all you had were 3 tv channels and maybe a couple of hours a day of kids tv at home, quite often in black and white only!  Now-a-days you can get entertainment 24/7 whatever your age.
    Coming out of the cinema having witnessed quite possibly the greatest thing I'd ever seen at that age I was hooked for life.  I think a large problem with some of the later movies is that good sci-fi is common place these days and the core audience for Star Wars has always been the younger generation - we just got old and judge it through more cynical eyes.
    I still enjoy Star Wars, even the lesser films.  I've read countless books, watched all the animated series and to this day continue to play Star Wars Galaxies (an online MMO that officially shut down years ago!)
    Call me a nerd if you want, but I'm a proud Star Wars nerd ?
  14. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to maxjam in Star Wars   
    The hero we need in 2020...

  15. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from Boycie in What are you eating tonight   
    An oeuf is enough
  16. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from I know nothing in What are you eating tonight   
    An oeuf is enough
  17. Haha
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Boycie in What are you eating tonight   
    Love omelettes me.
  18. Clap
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from bigbadbob in Watchable telly   
    Thx Carl, started watching it on your recommendation along with my son, half way through and loving it so far.
    Re. the sound fascinating is one way of putting it... we are both terrified by it at times but I get what you mean it plays a big part of the experience.
  19. Cheers
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from Carl Sagan in Watchable telly   
    Thx Carl, started watching it on your recommendation along with my son, half way through and loving it so far.
    Re. the sound fascinating is one way of putting it... we are both terrified by it at times but I get what you mean it plays a big part of the experience.
  20. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Carl Sagan in Watchable telly   
    Watched the first six episodes (out of eight) of Alex Garland's DEVS.
    A tech company with a secret department doing profound research with quantum computing that may impact on the whole world. Garland also wrote and directed Ex Machina, another thoughtful discussion of near-future technology. DEVS also shares the same cinematographer, Rob Hardy, so is extraordinarily beautiful. And the sound is fascinating, sometimes reminding me of 2001.
    Absolutely loving it so far. The pacing is very, very good. Expect to watch the final two episodes tonight.
    It's currently on BBC meaning the ful series is up on iPlayer for easiest access. In the US it was Hulu for anyone there (and has finished).
  21. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby got a reaction from DarkFruitsRam7 in Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues   
    Hi B4,
    Skype is not the same as sky. Skype allows you to video calls from a mobile phone, laptop or tablet. If you google it you should be able to find it. You then need to install it, register and then you can use it. Hope it helps.
  22. Haha
  23. Like
    EtoileSportiveDeDerby reacted to Tyler Durden in Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues   
    Try to maintain social contact with friends if you're having to self isolate even if it's through phone calls, texts, FaceTime, messaging on social media.
    Keep yourself busy and keep your mind focused on things that you are able to do indoors to avoid the temptation of dwelling and ruminating on things in your mind that you may not have any control over. 
    Eat properly and do exercises inside like burpees, push and sit ups, running on the spot, if you've got something like a Peleton or cross trainer at home even better.
     
  24. Haha
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