Carnero

#HumbleBrag

Long term couples, usually already married for at least 3 years, who use the phrase "date night" to describe themselves going to the cinema to watch a **** film, probably something like The Avengers, followed by a meal at Zizzi's (probably located right next to the cinema) that consists of ordering the second cheapest thing on the menu, one glass of wine each, no dessert and then a trip home by 10pm to sit on the sofa staring at their phones and not having sex.

More disturbingly, it’s a forceful reminder that there’s only a thin piece of nylon between Theresa’s clunge and the outside world. 

Yeah and him too...

Kick em in the plums!

Yep not had a single one popup in the last 1-2 hours.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls.
To everyone's amazement, he sticks it inhis mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the   monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it
up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did  just now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to **** that cue ball out, he measures everything first."

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral.
A man leans in to her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?”.
“No, go right ahead”, the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora”, and sits back down.
"Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot”

Realising that I've never had a DM off anyone ever. Didn't even know there was a direct mail box

I will look again, but rather than suffer in silence you need to let me know as soon as it happens, easier to detect then as they will be the latest on the list. Longer you wait, further they drop.

There's only ooooonnne Tyson Fury!! 
I actually like Fury and Joshua. Don't think I support a fighter like a football team. 
I've even changed my mind during a fight before. I wanted Lemiuex to beat BJS but BJS put on such a display that who wouldn't want to see him move onto bigger things. 
People say some weird things about boxing.
There's loads of criticism for Eddie Hearn shows. I'm guessing it comes from people who don't see other shows. 
It's like in football where everyone wants to spot the foreign wonderkid who's 16 and better than boring old Messi/Ronaldo. Or the "gengenpressing"
In boxing there's little trendy bandwagon things to say isn't there? Anthony Joshua is a target for quite a lot of it. He either has no boxing ability or he's unbeatable. 
Thrilled that Fury is back. He's a troubled guy but for him to be 29 and missing out on this heavyweight drama would be a massive loss. Not just for him but also the shadow it casts over anyone who dreams of dominating the division. He'd haunt them. The man who freed us of the boring Klitschko brothers domination. 

Cue the boxing hipsters
"AAAACTUALLY Fury's a very good defensive boxer and definitely beats Joshua"
The boxing equivalent of people who claim to support one English football  team as well as one German team. 

Ah you young whippersnappers......

They had bananas when I was a little girl. I've had to learn IT as a (gracefully) aging adult. I sometimes need a bit of help! 

Tune in again next week when @David will be teaching @angieram and @ilkleyram how to peel a banana.

Tune in again next week when @David will be teaching @angieram and @ilkleyram how to peel a banana.

Goodfellas pizza and a can of skol then?
Me too.

Deep pan or thin crust?

Hold on a minute, @angieram click on the little arrow next to where it says Derby County Forum in the middle, you've minimised the forums thats all!  

Tried that. Got this. Will try again 
 

Owh are you away? What the weather like?

Same message here & also on android.
Clearing cache seems to have done the trick for me.

People who change their Forum name and pic so I can't work out who they are!