HuddersRam

Thanks for the messages all. I've got an appointment tomorrow AM with my doctor which will hopefully add a bit of clarity to things. I knew I was coming down with depression in around December time but left it until April to get the diagnosis. The sadness I could deal with but the intrusive thoughts and doubts about my relationship are something different altogether. I've felt absolutely empty all day today and just don't know how to get better.
I've got people around me to speak to and am seeing a counsellor but as of yet, nothing's really changed. I don't really know what depression feels like exactly but I think there might be a few more issues than just that unfortunately. I've got a girlfriend I love to bits who loves me and will be there for me, I just pray I don't end up forcing her away and ruining everything.

Thanks for the messages all. I've got an appointment tomorrow AM with my doctor which will hopefully add a bit of clarity to things. I knew I was coming down with depression in around December time but left it until April to get the diagnosis. The sadness I could deal with but the intrusive thoughts and doubts about my relationship are something different altogether. I've felt absolutely empty all day today and just don't know how to get better.
I've got people around me to speak to and am seeing a counsellor but as of yet, nothing's really changed. I don't really know what depression feels like exactly but I think there might be a few more issues than just that unfortunately. I've got a girlfriend I love to bits who loves me and will be there for me, I just pray I don't end up forcing her away and ruining everything.

Thanks for the messages all. I've got an appointment tomorrow AM with my doctor which will hopefully add a bit of clarity to things. I knew I was coming down with depression in around December time but left it until April to get the diagnosis. The sadness I could deal with but the intrusive thoughts and doubts about my relationship are something different altogether. I've felt absolutely empty all day today and just don't know how to get better.
I've got people around me to speak to and am seeing a counsellor but as of yet, nothing's really changed. I don't really know what depression feels like exactly but I think there might be a few more issues than just that unfortunately. I've got a girlfriend I love to bits who loves me and will be there for me, I just pray I don't end up forcing her away and ruining everything.

Thanks for the messages all. I've got an appointment tomorrow AM with my doctor which will hopefully add a bit of clarity to things. I knew I was coming down with depression in around December time but left it until April to get the diagnosis. The sadness I could deal with but the intrusive thoughts and doubts about my relationship are something different altogether. I've felt absolutely empty all day today and just don't know how to get better.
I've got people around me to speak to and am seeing a counsellor but as of yet, nothing's really changed. I don't really know what depression feels like exactly but I think there might be a few more issues than just that unfortunately. I've got a girlfriend I love to bits who loves me and will be there for me, I just pray I don't end up forcing her away and ruining everything.

Sounds a horrible time for you right now.
I hope that in time you will appreciate what your girlfriend and others see in you.
In the meantime please be honest with your counsellor about how you truly feel as well as telling your GP because it sounds like your medication needs to be reviewed.

You need to see your doctor asap, and tell them honestly how you're feeling. 
Show them this post, if you can't face telling him, the fact is there are many different types of drug that can help in your situation, what's right for one is wrong for another, hopefully they can help you find an even keel, but if they don't know they can't help.
Good luck.

Gosh, sounds really horrible. I know very little about what you're going through but from what you've said maybe you need to find yourself some people to talk to who are going through similar things? Are there any groups that your doctor can recommend? As you've been doing I'd also look into the prescribed medication I was on and also how you're feeling - the internet is chock full of info, be discerning. Best wishes for you and your girlfriend.

Well done for posting mate.
My eldest was on 3 different ones,Fluoxetine been one,we can't remember the others.
I can honestly say they didn't do him any favours.
After he had majory surgery in 2016 which went wrong,he decided to take matters into his own hands and had a serious attempt at taking his life because he couldn't face being ill anymore.Fortunately I found him and after a week in hospital he was ok.
I sat him down and explained to him that if he did it he would take us all with him because we loved him so much.
Mental illness is a terrible thing and I don't have any answers mate,but I do know that coming on here and talking about stuff helps.
Caring bunch on here.
Keep us posted mate and good luck.
You're not on your own.

Yes thanks, mate. But you wouldn't believe my final diagnosis.
To cut a long, drawn out story short...
I did a lot of weights for headspace time, and the fact I like being on my own. And its supposed to be good for beating depression.
I got pretty big, but then had a tough period, which is when I cried out for help on here. To get big I had to eat protein and I ate loads of tuna. 2 tins a day, actually.
I went to the doctors with lethargy and suspected depression, again, earlier this year. Blood tests taken as a precaution showed up problems. Went to a specialist, been diagnosed with mercury poisoning from the tuna.
So the hobby I used to beat my depression was actually making me more depressed and killing me lol.
I'm feeling much better now. But the way my head worked during those really dark times earlier this year makes me now help anybody I can. It was a ******* eye opener. 
To all those who commented and showed they cared at the time was ******* brilliant. I posted my original post and then logged off fearing I would be reacted to negatively. 
I thank @Mostyn6 in my head everytime this thread reemerges. It gave me the strength to find out answers and get better. And to everyone who responded first time.
So to the poster today, if you're reading. Hang in there, mate. Take the boost you might get from people listening and understanding how you feel, and use it. Whether it gives you the energy to get through tomorrow or to get back to the doctors. Just keep talking. We will be here.

Been a while since I contributed to this thread and things have changed just a tiny bit since I did back in January.
Diagnosed with depression by the doctor back at the start of April and put on Fluoxetine. I've been going through counselling talking therapy sessions as well, stupidly thinking things would turn around quickly.
Unsurprisingly they're not and since starting medication, I've felt even worse. I've had horrible feelings of guilt which have been racking my brain and body on a daily basis. Countless times a day I'll break down in tears no matter where I am, just struggling to comprehend the mess I've got myself into. Broke my own record today with seven separate trips to the bathroom stalls.
I've got a girlfriend who I love to bits and she knows everything I'm going through and is being incredibly supportive. But over the last few days, I've noticed that I don't really feel anything when it comes to love or passion. I've read about the side effects of Anti-depressants and how they can take away emotions and feelings and I'm terrified they're going to ruin the best thing I have ever had with her - all because I'm not thinking properly.
My mind is constantly telling me I'm a bad person and regularly makes things up to further put the point across. These I could just about deal with, but it's as if it's trying to now turn me against the person I love the most. I've vowed to come off the medication because they've made me feel worse than I ever imagined I could - suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. I've been on them for six weeks and can't face them for a day more before I do or say something stupid. For me personally, I'd rather take the feelings I had before than have my own mind lie to me and feel nothing.
It's a really strange situation to be in is depression. I always thought it was something that was easily treatable - "oh it's only the mind, it's easy to control" sort of thing. I now realise mental illnesses are the most horrendous things you can get. Has anybody else had these sort of side effects from the pills?

I've kept away from posting on this thread for about 9 months but I always read the new posts with interest. Its such an amazing thread with cyber strangers opening up about their fears and life problems, uniquely heartwarming I find it - and proof that a lot of us 'normal' folk do have issues that feel good to share once the courage has been raised to do so. 
With the talk being about therapy I thought I'd add my positive experience to maybe help persuade anybody thinking about it to take the plunge and go for it.  
I went through counseling for PTSD, some of it was with the NHS and the bulk of it privately (i was fortunate enough to have it funded through insurance). They both helped, but in my experience the private therapy was more focused on my requirements. 
Its good to talk to a stranger, let it all out, they won't judge you, they will see the root cause of your problem and offer practical self help to resolve it. There is no magic wand, you've got to want to overcome your issue and have some determination to succeed. Experienced therapist's will have probably come across your problem with other patients and have numerous techniques to help you overcome them. The CBT helped for me, its a circular way of addressing your issues and slowly reprogramming the brain and thought processes to help you overcome the issue.
I learnt some good, simple coping techniques to help me combat my anxieties, basic stuff like breathing techniques, take slow deep breath's in through the nose and breathe out slowly through the mouth. Sounds daft but it helped me. When I was anxious or getting agitated composing myself and breathing correctly really helped. I was still bricking it about the cause but as @Tony Le Mesmer pointed out the more you put yourself through the cause of your anxiety the less difficult it becomes. Sometimes for me things went wrong and it left me a nervous wreck and set me back a few days or weeks but you have to persevere to get past the anxiety.  Or take the easy way out and avoid the situations that cause the anxiety. I did this for ages but as my fear was traveling in vehicles the excuses for not going anywhere where wearing thin. At the start I couldn't get to the end of our street without throwing up or having cold sweats and feeling faint, but over time and with sympathetic driving from whomever was driving me around (I was unable to drive at the time due to various broken bones, plaster casts and metal bolts/wires hanging out of me) my situation improved. Its still not perfect, I don't think it will ever return to my pre-accident level, but at least I'm able to travel around again and not make excuses.
If anybody is looking for a therapist make sure they have a good armoury of skills, some will have one or two techniques and they might not be the right ones for you - go to one that covers all aspects, unless you know the specific one you need.
I saw a therapist in Derby that had as long a list of BSC's and diploma's as your likely to see, she is in her mid fifties so has plenty of experience, she covered everything even hypnosis! 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

Thanks for that buddy and sorry to hear about your lady luck! Really interesting what you mentioned about the anti-depressants as well. I was speaking to a friend last night who was on them for a year and a bit but just took himself off them and has barely felt a difference. I imagine they're probably what I might be offered but think I'd rather try the whole talking it out thing to begin with, seens as not talking is probably partly the reason I'm seeing the doc in the first place!

At least you have a girlfriend, your the same age as me and Ive never had a bloody date!
Seriously though, I cant relate at all, but as a trainee pharmacist I see a lot of people with issues of that sort. It is better for you to hit the nail early on, start talking (dont listen to your ego), and get it of your chest. Dont sit and wait and lie to yourself, saying "oh its only temporary , it isnt a big issue, I need to man up ect ect".
Well done.
A persons ego can hold you back from being honest to yourself and seeking help at times
I would say though I would not start Anti depressants soon or whatever medication the doctors want to give you. I think talking, being pro-active, finding activities which gives your life meaning and something to LOOK FORWARD TO (Biggest KILLER OF FEELING LOW) is key. I as a future pharmacist (only my opinion) think depression is being tackled wrongly and incorectly by our health care proffesionals- too much drugs and too little talking.
 
Best of luck mate

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 
 

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.
I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 
Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 
I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through!