Posh Ram Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I've got a bad case of cold feet, can you prescribe me something for it Doc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I tend to say "lets have a look at the old jack and danny"what is your success rate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rams71 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 what is your success rate?I'd say over the years probably 20-25% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 What is an acceptable and polite name, we men folk can call the woman's nether region ? My mate Harry Ladygarden asked me to post for him , cheers doc .Hey I am Ram,The best thing to do here is to get onto the subject of it during the small talk and chatter during the date "If things are going well and you think she'll end up back at the "I AM RAM TOWERS", then suggest a little naughty talk, ask her about it straight off the bat! "Bizarre question,but what do you call your, you know, downstairs area?" They'll laugh that you've said it so naively and you'll then have a gauge as to the kind of woman she is. If she says something nice and sweet like "Lady part", "ning ning", "tuppence" or "garden", she's playing hard to get. If she uses something a little more blokey, I'd be inclined to rubber up. When it comes to it, merely use the same terminology she mentioned to you, that way, it will show that you listened to her and you're not embarrassing yourself.The trick is to start with a girl who has a ning ning and turn her into a girl who calls it a mound.Happy vagina naming,Bilbo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 I've got a bad case of cold feet, can you prescribe me something for it Doc?Posh Ram,SocksBilbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us.She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me.Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us. She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me. Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath. Swanky hotel eh? Bit like The North Staffs opposite Stoke station? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 She's married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Possibly, didn't even cross my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Swanky hotel eh? Bit like The North Staffs opposite Stoke station? It's alraite in there, breakfasts nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us.She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me.Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath.Worse ways to go, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us.She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me.Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath.she wants a bit of rough, don't forget to wear your uniform and stuff some socks down your combats, this love clinic advice is a breeze !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I'm sure Bilbo's advice is excellent but a tried and trusted method of receiving sincere personal advice and the correct time, simply call a random number at 4am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salford ram Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Dearest Bilbo, my 'friend ' ahem, has a problem that his wife is not very forthcoming in the bedroom department. Have u any ideas to help him in his hour of need. P.s he can't afford to wait for female Viagra ta very muchly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I don't know how much Daveo is paying Bilbo for his advice column, I know he mentioned he is on five times what the mods currently get but he is truly worth every penny, keep up the good work Bilbo !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us.She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me.Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath.Hi Private Derby (Or not so Private if you're sharing things like that with me!),I've been thinking about this one in great detail. I've been there before myself, I found myself thinking why a posh girl would be into me (mind you, my lovemaking skills are far more famous that the confines of this forum, but my plan is to go and give her as much of the private good stuff as possible. If it comes to the point where you think it might be "dead" in the bath time and it's coming to kill of be killed, get her on all fours and donkey punch her. Not hard enough to knock her out, but just enough so that she knows you could. It'll confuse the hell out of her, but there's her bit of rough and you're laying the marker down.If that isn't your thing, tip the concierge (it's like a servant at a posh restaurant) and ask him to deliver a bottle of champagne to the room every hour, just charge it to the room and get the hell out of dodge before she wakes up the next day, change your number and become a hero with your mates.Don't die,Bilbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 she wants a bit of rough, don't forget to wear your uniform and stuff some socks down your combats, this love clinic advice is a breeze !!!I've got this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyinLiverpool Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 When my pubes start growing back, how do I stop them itching? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Bilbo, A really well to do young lady I only met three weeks ago and have only seen three times since has gone and booked a swanky hotel for us.She is far more intelligent and earns nearly five times more, honestly got no idea why she's into me.Need I worry? I'm getting visions of being found by cleaners submerged in the bath.I'll run a recon before you arrive if you want.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 When my pubes start growing back, how do I stop them itching?AnyInLiverpool,It depends on how you lost them, although I'm guessing by your username that they have been stolen by an unruly gang that have left you propped up by bricks. These can't be grown back, you have to fight for them. Head down to Toxteth, completely naked save for being covered in baby oil, let off a flare and scream "GIVE ME BACK MY BLOODY PUBES".MAKE YOUR PUBIS PUBLIC, TAKE THE POWER BACK.Bilbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.