AndyinLiverpool Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 AnyInLiverpool,It depends on how you lost them, although I'm guessing by your username that they have been stolen by an unruly gang that have left you propped up by bricks. These can't be grown back, you have to fight for them. Head down to Toxteth, completely naked save for being covered in baby oil, let off a flare and scream "GIVE ME BACK MY BLOODY PUBES".MAKE YOUR PUBIS PUBLIC, TAKE THE POWER BACK.Bilbo Thanks. I'll ley you know how I get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 Hello everyone. I've just come back from a magical erotica discovery tour of the four corners of the world (think Christian Bale in Batman when he gets in that prison, but sexier). I've got knowledge, I've got power, I've got the ability to steal your wife (but I won't!), so I've decided to reopen the love clinic! Anyone got any questions? Come at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRam Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 The **** is this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 Think Agony Aunt, but in the bedroom department... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRam Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 What are your qualifications? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 100% of happy customers. Taught Sting everything he knows. Russell Brand comes to me for advice. Russell Grant came to me for advice, but that was a different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimmu Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 I have this problem... every time I go to pub and get wasted, I end up in coitus later. How could I avoid this grotesque ignominy? Being more wasted is not an option, unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Dear Bilbo, I've been married to a wonderful man for a few years now, and we've recently been blessed with designer adoptive children. However recently er indoors, who I'll call Reg to protect his identity, has become distant and snappy. He barely ever lays his healing hands on me any more, and just last weekend when I remarked on the pleasant weather snapped 'Fooking Sun on Sunday'. He's also become controlling, as a man of the world I used to have papers from around the globe delivered, not only has he stopped this, but he supervises my internet access and only allows me to access websites Made in England, for security reasons he said! I've tried to have it out with him, but he's such an angry hornet atm, it's almost as if Sorry seems to be the hardest word. My friend Dorothy reckons he's been playing around behind my back, if only! Help me Bilbo, I sometimes feel the whole world knows the truth about my Reg, and I'm left blowing like a candle in the wind. Yours, D.F. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 2 hours ago, Dimmu said: I have this problem... every time I go to pub and get wasted, I end up in coitus later. How could I avoid this grotesque ignominy? Being more wasted is not an option, unfortunately. This is a simple issue, one that is solved by respecting your sexual partner. The bond built prior to sexual activity should be a mutual understanding, give and take, so the best advice I can give you is drink with your left hand and make love to your right hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BondJovi Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 7 minutes ago, reveldevil said: Dear Bilbo, I've been married to a wonderful man for a few years now, and we've recently been blessed with designer adoptive children. However recently er indoors, who I'll call Reg to protect his identity, has become distant and snappy. He barely ever lays his healing hands on me any more, and just last weekend when I remarked on the pleasant weather snapped 'Fooking Sun on Sunday'. He's also become controlling, as a man of the world I used to have papers from around the globe delivered, not only has he stopped this, but he supervises my internet access and only allows me to access websites Made in England, for security reasons he said! I've tried to have it out with him, but he's such an angry hornet atm, it's almost as if Sorry seems to be the hardest word. My friend Dorothy reckons he's been playing around behind my back, if only! Help me Bilbo, I sometimes feel the whole world knows the truth about my Reg, and I'm left blowing like a candle in the wind. Yours, D.F. The bitch is back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbadbob Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 3 hours ago, Bilbo said: Hello everyone. I've just come back from a magical erotica discovery tour of the four corners of the world (think Christian Bale in Batman when he gets in that prison, but sexier). I've got knowledge, I've got power, I've got the ability to steal your wife (but I won't!), so I've decided to reopen the love clinic! Anyone got any questions? Come at me. I have a question regarding male genitalia. Why are you such a **** ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearl Ram Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Daniel, give him a slap, Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting. Say to him I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That, put on some Sad Songs and ponder if it would be Easier To Walk Away, no one should have to put up with a Part Time Love. Hope this helps til Bilbo can give you some proper advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 30 minutes ago, reveldevil said: Dear Bilbo, I've been married to a wonderful man for a few years now, and we've recently been blessed with designer adoptive children. However recently er indoors, who I'll call Reg to protect his identity, has become distant and snappy. He barely ever lays his healing hands on me any more, and just last weekend when I remarked on the pleasant weather snapped 'Fooking Sun on Sunday'. He's also become controlling, as a man of the world I used to have papers from around the globe delivered, not only has he stopped this, but he supervises my internet access and only allows me to access websites Made in England, for security reasons he said! I've tried to have it out with him, but he's such an angry hornet atm, it's almost as if Sorry seems to be the hardest word. My friend Dorothy reckons he's been playing around behind my back, if only! Help me Bilbo, I sometimes feel the whole world knows the truth about my Reg, and I'm left blowing like a candle in the wind. Yours, D.F. GET OUT, GET OUT NOW. Don't leave it until Saturday night, because we all know what that's alright for. When it's safe to do so, try and remind him about your song and the good times you had together. With any luck, he'll be reminded that he's your rocket man, your his tiny dancer and hopefully you'll be ready for love in no time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 22 minutes ago, EastHertsRam said: Daniel, give him a slap, Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting. Say to him I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That, put on some Sad Songs and ponder if it would be Easier To Walk Away, no one should have to put up with a Part Time Love. Hope this helps til Bilbo can give you some proper advice. (It's cool, I've got this) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 23 minutes ago, bigbadbob said: I have a question regarding male genitalia. Why are you such a **** ? Why am I such a stud? I don't know mate, ask your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbadbob Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 1 minute ago, Bilbo said: Why am I such a stud? I don't know mate, ask your wife. Yea she loves it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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