Mostyn6

I presume you're not taking these pics whilst at the wheel yourself 

Indeed....
 
Toiletiquette: The Unwritten Rules Of The Men’s Public Toilets
By : Alex Bentley | 17/02/15
3.5k Shares
 
Men’s toilets can be a confusing place. There are some scary smells and questionable stains. But there are some unwritten rules that sometimes get overlooked. Don’t break them.
We’ve all got several public toilet related anecdotes. You don’t want to feature in anybody else’s.
Which urinal do you use?
If the room is empty, this is an easy one. You use the one at the far end. If you are second in, you use the one on the opposite end. That’s just how it is. If both are taken, you use one in the middle, but not next to one of the lads who got there before you. If there is no urinal left that isn’t directly next to somebody, you may opt to go in a cubicle.
Obviously you leave the door wide open if you do that so that nobody else tries to go in. If you absolutely HAVE to go, and need to use a urinal right next to somebody, then the following rule becomes extra important.
Avoid eye contact, and no talking.
You look straight ahead as much as possible. If you DO look at another lad when they walk in, be careful where your eyes aim. Don’t check out their trainers, your eyes must not go low. And keep quiet. Don’t be that bell end that talks in there. Announcing your entrance with a **** joke like “Wooo! So THIS is where all the ***** hang out!” will not make you popular.
 
Do you wash your hands?
Yes, if somebody else is in there. Otherwise, only if you’ve got wee on them. Don’t pretend you wash them every time, you don’t and that’s okay.
Don’t whistle or sing.
You’re not at home. Whistling is annoying as ****. And CERTAINLY don’t if you are in the cubicle having a poo. That is just extra weird.
Don’t text at the urinal.
You don’t want to get wee on your phone. And it’s also sod’s law that you’ll drop it. Plus it’s kind of weird to text your mates while touching your knob. This rule does not apply in a cubicle though. Using your phone while having a poo is absolutely essential.
Don’t unzip until you’re stood at the urinal.
This should be obvious, but wait until you’re at the urinal to get your tool out. Any earlier is just odd. Similarly, put it away before you turn around. It is optional, but preferred if you can sort your flies and belt out before you turn around. But definitely no willy in the open area of the bogs. Absolutely never.
Use the mirror sparingly.
You’re not a girl. You don’t have time for it. A quick glance to check that your hair doesn’t look like a burst sofa is fine. But don’t spend ages in there styling it, you will look like a muppet. Don’t check out your gym progress, and definitely don’t pop spots in there either. It’s grim.
 
There are some other things to remember that don’t require any explanations…
The phone number that is given on the back of the cubicle door offering BJs, probably isn’t an attractive woman. Or a woman at all.
If you enter a cubicle and it’s unflushed and full, leave it that way and use a different cubicle.
If you MUST spit a big greeny, make sure it’s in the urinal, not on the wall. Don’t be that guy.
Always check there is toilet roll before you sit down. It’s not like you can shout your housemate from downstairs.
DON’T SPLASH YOUR OWN OR ANYONE ELSE’S TRAINERS.
Don’t try to make friends with everyone in there. In and out. Let the girls spend half their night in the toilets talking to strangers.

What's wrong with dumping them at the side of the road like a normal person?

Can you play up front on Saturday?

the truly unreasonable amount of struggling involved in rotating sausages when grilling. 

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

the truly unreasonable amount of struggling involved in rotating sausages when grilling. 

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

Folk who antagonise animals. Just seen footage of a diver in a shark cage getting attacked by a great white who got into the cage. They lure it to the cage with food and now the shark has injured itself and swims off with blood flooding from a wound it sustained.
can't they just leave the bloody things be? They aren't there for human entertainment , tossers .  

People posting on football forums when I'm running things up the flagpole at an important meeting trying to get us all to sing from the same hymnsheet. 

when you get pistachio nuts that you cannot open! 

Despite now having one of those daft hipster efforts, I've only been clean shaven twice in 12 years.  Once for Movember a few years ago, and once when I shaved before a girl I met on holiday came to stay as she didn't like stubble rash...

I wonder if your sub-conscious state of mind has something to do with it. Maybe, like me, you've discovered you don't like drinking, or the feeling afterwards and your mind is playing the association game.
If you're already feeling a bit better about the situation, then maybe your own self-awareness of the problems and more importantly, the reason, will be the key to overcoming it.

It is google smart ads so the adverts are related to your recent searches on google.

got a lot of things pencilled in to occupy me this festive season.

when you get pistachio nuts that you cannot open! 

not sure how I stumbled across this. But it's a long thread.
 
 

it's getting to that time of year where a combination of things usually result in me having low moods.
Dark mornings when getting up, dark evenings when driving home from work, those with families having a purpose and the excitement of Christmas and New Year. I will probably at some point lock myself away over the festive period, and feel like a burden on everyone, which then makes me very low. 
I am trying to counter this, but we will see if my plans work.
I know I am not alone, and hope that if any posters have similar issues, that they are comfortable enough to talk about it, and maybe pre-empting them may prevent, which is what I am hoping to do.

Tssssk you ****** that joke up. You're supposed to say "but then on the other hand"

when highly trained assassins cannot kill Tom Cruise in an alley from 10ft away with 20 shots! I think a novice marksman like myself would get my eye in after about 5!