Phoenix

I'm glad I'm not a stupid billionaire.

I'm glad I'm not a stupid billionaire.

So lazy got as far as the garden, poor attempt.

I thought that was the whole essence of modern poetry. Mutn'y rhyme, mustn't scan, mustn't mean anything.

Click-bait headlines in cheap on-line newspapers, like "You WON'T BELIEVE what Gladys did with......."
If I'm not going to believe it, there's no point reading it.

Click-bait headlines in cheap on-line newspapers, like "You WON'T BELIEVE what Gladys did with......."
If I'm not going to believe it, there's no point reading it.

The buggers are breeding in the wild now...

It says proudly on the bottle of milk I've just bought '6p from this bottle goes to farmers!'.
It cost nearly 60p. So the farmers look after the cows, feed the cows, milk the cows, bottle the milk and sell it and they get 6p per bottle from one that costs 60p?
Am i missing something here?
First thing tomorrow I'm sourcing a local dairy farmer / farm shop and always buy direct in future. Supermarkets p*ss me off. Greed. Unfair greed.

They're still at it. This on the picturesque Ivanhoe Trail opposite the Sence Valley Forest Park.


 

A few years ago a woman came to work in my wife's office, probably aged late 20's. The boss had to tell her off for spending so much time 'interacting' on social media.
One day,my wife made some jocular comment about 'we'll have to work an extra day this year' to which she replied 'Why's that?'
'Because it's a Leap Year'
What's a Leap Year?'
'You know, when there's an extra day in February'
'REALLY? I never knew that!'
I kid you not. Nice girl but thicker than the two proverbial railway sleepers.

They're still at it. This on the picturesque Ivanhoe Trail opposite the Sence Valley Forest Park.


 

They're still at it. This on the picturesque Ivanhoe Trail opposite the Sence Valley Forest Park.


 

They're still at it. This on the picturesque Ivanhoe Trail opposite the Sence Valley Forest Park.


 

A few years ago a woman came to work in my wife's office, probably aged late 20's. The boss had to tell her off for spending so much time 'interacting' on social media.
One day,my wife made some jocular comment about 'we'll have to work an extra day this year' to which she replied 'Why's that?'
'Because it's a Leap Year'
What's a Leap Year?'
'You know, when there's an extra day in February'
'REALLY? I never knew that!'
I kid you not. Nice girl but thicker than the two proverbial railway sleepers.

I think Birch is still alive (by the skin of his teeth), and I understand the 'light show' was on 10 minutes, on the basis that his shirt number was No 10.
Good, honest bloke, Birchinall, raised oodles of cash for his club** over the decades, much as I despise anything to do with Leicester City. I agree it's tacky though.
** Actually, I think his big thing was having defibrilators at every football ground, an item which saved his life this week.

Leicestershire County Council (tho' I expect others are similar).
Clearing the garage out I decided to get rid of various old tins of paint, in various states of decay. I go to the local General Household Recycling Facility (Tip) to be told ' you can't dump that here, you need to go to Enderby'. Googling the map I find it's actually in Whetstone, so I look on the LCC website for recycling facility information
Yes, out of all the recycling facilities, Enderby (Whetstone) is the only one to take paint. Okay, it's not too far.
BUT.
You need a licence. It's free but only lasts for a few days, and you have to register with LCC. I register,and have to tell them make & model of car, plus registration number, any distinctive markings, am I the sole driver.
Is it my waste, did it come from my house, was the waste generated by my self or a paid person, is the waste generated by myself the result of a paid job. Yes,yes,me,no.
What sort of waste is it? Dropdown list. I select paint etc.
What sort of paint, emulsion, spirit based, turps, adhesive? How many cans, tins, bottles of each? Slight glitch here, because if I accidentally click 'add another', there's no get out. You have to cancel the whole lot and start again. Never mind, I'm retired and can afford the time.
Submit. I get a message telling me that they will e-mail me login details. I go to my e-mails. There's one telling me I have submitted my details (encouraging) and they will e-mail login details (not so encouraging). I wait. And wait. Several minutes. Then I get an email giving me a password (there was a capital 'I' in it. Or is it a '1'?) I log in, although I don't have a User Name. I guessed (correctly) it was my e-mail address.
It takes me to a screen where I have to change my password before I can progress. (It was an 'I'). I am then given a list of options for receiving my paint-dumping permit, including collection from County Hall (aka the Leicestershire Hilton, and has 18 receptionists, honestly), several libraries, or by post. I choose my local library for speed.
It's Wednesday, but I find that Enderby (Whetstone) tip is closed Wednesday so I plan for Thursday,a quick shopping trip into Hinckley, pick up the permit, drive to Enderby (Whetstone), call in by Topps Tiles (Enderby), home. Bingo.
It's Thursday. The wife has decided what she wants from Hinckley, and also which tiles to pick up, so I carefully load all the paint into the boot of the car, and off we go to Hinckley Public Library. F***ing SHUT.. On a Thursday. I suppose Brexit is to blame. It is for most things.
LCC must be the most overpaid, mindless, cretinous bunch of incompetents in Britain. At least, they are Politically Correct overpaid, mindless, cretinous incompetents.
I now have to waste part of Friday, earmarked for other things, to dump the f***ing stuff. Am I p1ssed off? Is the Pope Catholic?
 

Not knocking you mate but I think that's wrong. Children should do as they're told, it's all about rules and authority in my opinion. 
I was talking to a pretty young primary school teacher in the pub the other day, she was banging on about this disruptive lad and how the head gave her the afternoon off to go and play football with him on the yard 'to bond' 
I asked her if she thought it was a good idea "definitely, hopefully he respects me more now"
Schools are ran by wishy washy clowns nowadays, fooking birch rod em! 

Documentaries - and Channel 4 are bad for this - that repeatedly show the same clips, especially after a break.  We are not stupid and now days when people fast forward through the adverts its not like we are going to forget what was said 10 seconds ago.

Mince pies.

Mince pies.

Mince pies.

Get the missus to paint it. You don't keep a dog and bark yourself, as the saying goes.

Not that I live in the south east, but those reports of 'heavy congestion on the M25 between junctions 5 and 11 anti-clockwise' make my head spin.
Also, those road signs, often painted ion the road, in unfamiliar towns pointing to 'B5839 east'. Do I need to go east? Or is it North? Why can't they give the bloody place names?

I'm not convinced on this HS2 malarky. The thing wont be up and running for decades, by which time video conferencing, data transfer and the like will have progressed to such a degree, 'businessmen' wont need to shave a few minutes off a train journey, they just won't need to travel at all.

Exactly my thinking. Seems totally illogical to me, money would be better spent ensuring everyone in the country has decent internet connectivity. Job interviews, music lessons and so are already being done on Skype or the like so why spend billions saving 30 mins. All bollaeux to me.