MaltRam

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

Just had a rather dramatic call back. They opened him up and found no foreign body in his stomach or intestines, but his throat is blocked by a swelling/growth and he was full of gas. They've released that, but just as the vet was on the phone she got a shout from the nurse and had to hang up to go and check on him again. Half hour later, she calls back. The swelling has got worse and he can't breath. They put a tube down his throat and I had to make a decision on a second operation. Of course I've OK'd it, so they're giving him a tracheotomy so he can breath while (they hope) the swelling goes down.
They hope the swelling is due to his being sick so much, but it could be anything. They'll keep him overnight, but he's had so much trauma now that the odds are diminishing. Zero without this second op though.
Cruel ducking world. Poor little lad. 

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

Fair. I've spent so long trying to hold everything together for those around me, that I don't really know what else to do.

Sorry to pull you up on this, but there is no age restriction on being human and having emotions. I'd be more embarrassed/ashamed for not having an emotional reaction to family issues. You've quite concisely stated how much and why your dog is very important to you, and how he represents a link to something (a time) and someone (a person) that you don't want to forget.
Never be apologetic for being true to your feelings. That said, I do hope your fear turns out to be unwarranted x

We breed thoughtless Bamfords. A day of community service per item dropped. Death penalty for a 5th offence.

Cheers Mostyn...I dropped off here for a while during her illness and only came back on after she died.
Doggo currently being operated on. No idea what to expect. Waiting for a call. More scared and forlorn right now than a middle aged man ought to be in the circumstances I guess.

Not really. BoxNation is tied with BT Sports and ESPN. Main promotions are Frank Warren and Bob Arum. 
Top Rank are have a good bunch of welterweight, featherweight, super feather etc. The stars are Lomachenko and Terence Crawford. 
Frank Warren, I don't think much too his stable tbh. His shows certainly aren't huge nights like a Sky Sports heavyweight 02 night. 
They do share Tyson Fury though. It's worth mentioning that although Top Rank do have Lomachenko that he is fighting on Sky Sports for Luke Campbell in... September maybe? 
Now Sky Sports are tied in with DZN. DZN are trying to steal the talent. They pay money for Canelo, GGG and Joshua. 
Between them and Sky they have a good bunch of middleweight and heavyweights. 
Every Canelo and AJ fight is a mega fight. 
I think ITV is tied in with Showtime. 
If you like the mega events then it's probably best with Sky and DZN. 
The other stables have some really good fighters but they perhaps don't attract the big numbers with a couple of exceptions but even those are now having to make deals to Co Broadcast because DZN has spent big to try and dominate the market. 
BoxNation as a channel on it's own is kind of BTSports little sideshow now. It really for those who want boxing 2 or 3 times per week

We breed thoughtless Bamfords. A day of community service per item dropped. Death penalty for a 5th offence.

Since my wife died, it's been a bit of a scrap to keep plodding on, but I've been making progress. Back at work, back talking objectionable poo on here, trying to get out and about...
Aside from our kids, the biggest thing that's dragged me out of bed to do anything in a morning has been our dog. He's a lovely lad and I've been completely converted from cat person to dog person. My late wife always wanted a pup as a girl but her old man wouldn't have it, so when we found out she was terminally ill we got him to tick it off her bucket list. Not only is he a link to my late wife, but his complete devotion to us and bouncy enthusiasm helps bond us together.
He's only 18 months old, but he's sick. I've been up with him since first light and just had to drop him at the vet for various tests. He's been sick till there's nothing but bile, not drinking, not moving, struggling to breathe and I'm scared of what they're going to find. 
Watching him helpless, hoping for every next breath, the echoes of nursing my missus in her last weeks are ripping all the old wounds open. If he goes, I'm never again having another living thing in my life I care a poo about. The pain of caring and losing isn't worth the joy.
ducking savage low this morning. 

We breed thoughtless Bamfords. A day of community service per item dropped. Death penalty for a 5th offence.

If you read the piece again, carefully, you'll see that this was entirely the point I was making.
 

Not strictly on topic, but...
People are stupid. Anyone who's spent an hour in the company of a person with a 100 IQ is pretty sure to recognise what I mean, when you reflect that half of people are no smarter than that. If you don't get this, well, maybe...never mind.
Anyway, the upshot of people being thick as mince is that society has to cater to the lowest common denominator.
My fridge is broken. It's a big American job which cost a grand, and worth trying to fix, so I go online and get into an chat with a rep from the manufacturer. 'My fridge is broken', say I, 'can I get an engineer out?'.
A little over half an hour's worth of questions later...'are you sure the door is shut?', 'is it plugged in?', 'is it next to a heat source?', ' is it in full sunshine?'.....she says, 'it seems to be broken, we'll have to get an engineer out'.
Eugenics. We need eugenics.
 

Not strictly on topic, but...
People are stupid. Anyone who's spent an hour in the company of a person with a 100 IQ is pretty sure to recognise what I mean, when you reflect that half of people are no smarter than that. If you don't get this, well, maybe...never mind.
Anyway, the upshot of people being thick as mince is that society has to cater to the lowest common denominator.
My fridge is broken. It's a big American job which cost a grand, and worth trying to fix, so I go online and get into an chat with a rep from the manufacturer. 'My fridge is broken', say I, 'can I get an engineer out?'.
A little over half an hour's worth of questions later...'are you sure the door is shut?', 'is it plugged in?', 'is it next to a heat source?', ' is it in full sunshine?'.....she says, 'it seems to be broken, we'll have to get an engineer out'.
Eugenics. We need eugenics.
 

If they don't make Wilder the Franchise Champion and then make the WBC vacant for Fury v Whyte. They're so desperate to have American based heavyweight champions. 
Would love it to happen though. Anything that gets that belt off Wilder and Haymon 

Entertaining though isn't he? And he's built a nice little run of wins against serious opponents. If he leaves himself open and unbalanced to Wilder like he did in the 9th last night it'll be game over, but I wouldn't rule out Whyte getting to Wilder first.

Ooooooh, that's cold.

Had that type of experience in Shelton Lock chippy last night. Pair of lesbians from central casting at the counter, and me at the back of the queue watching the stock diminish...

......following on from the annoying people thread
Why does everything nowadays have to be "dubbed as" something.
Just reading on BBC News that today has been "dubbed as 'Super Thursday'" because of the elections. Why?. By Whom?. Why do we need everything to effectively have a Brand?
Don't get me started on why every scandal has to be .....gate?
I realise it's lowest-common-demonator stuff dreamed up by a lazy media copying a USA format but it does my head in.

Big win for Whyte who should now be looking to fight for a world title. If they try to freeze him out still then he should fight some low level guys. Don't go taking more risks against for World Champions, unknown dangerous Cubans or getting involved in heated rivalries. Don't fight Tyson, don't fight Takam or Kownacki or Pulev. 
I don't rate Whyte especially. His heart will always rule his head and the red mist will always take over. His short combos, his low left when he right hooks... he's going to get knocked out by a World Champion. 
But he's great for the fans. He's taken risk after risk and he entertains. Give the man his title shot. 
Glad Price won. 
Think Thurman will win later on. Hungrier with more to prove. Outstanding boxer. 

Having shared my health issues on the defunct podcast, I figured I would give an update to the regular listeners, if anyone else is interested read on. Will be a long post, definitely not looking for any kind of sympathy, if anything I am an absolute idiot for trying to wait it out.
If anyone follows my Instagram or Twitter will probably be aware I had a bit of a rough day yesterday, just wasn't up for coming on the forum despite the humour which was on display about the situation. 
For those that didn't listen to the podcast, around 3 years ago in the August whilst taking a multivitamin I swallowed my partial denture for a tooth I broke and had to have removed. This partial denture covered the room of my mouth, it's not a small thing to swallow.
Since that went down the hatch I have had nothing stomach issues ever since, quite bad, but chose to tough it out.
I went to A&E where I had X-Rays, nothing, it was only after they questioned me more on the denture and when they realised it had no metal it was a complete waste of time. Was sent home with funny looks and told to return if I had any chest pains. Never had any and a few weeks passed, nothing else as far as I'm aware I had crippling pain in my stomach so went into A&E, X-Ray'd me again and the verdict was I was full of poo. Literally.
Drink plenty of water and I would be fine, wasn't concerned by the denture at all. 
Then nothing, nothing but more pain. Every day. Anxiety set it, toilet trips had become horrendous adventures. I tried various diets, gluten free, low fodmap which I'm still on to this day despite it not really helping. I have taken a bit of stick for not going to games for the last season, season and half, but when some days it's a challenge to even get off the toilet, travelling 2 and half hours to Pride Park and bouncing in the South Stand with Lampard would not have been good. 
Actually tried to make a U23 game one night, guessed with less fans toilets wouldn't be the same issue. Had to turn back half way there due to traffic, got stuck in a pile up over a crash and wouldn't have made kick off. 
Season ticket still renewed for this season, determined to get back on my feet and back in the SS, takes away the whole should I buy a match ticket or not. Call me weird but also this club has supported the forum a lot, £400 on a season ticket supports them back. Every penny counts in this FFP world.
Anyhow, in the 3 years I have gone from a unhealthy (due to alcohol and KFC) 18st 5lb stone to 10st 10lb, XL to S, 38" waist to 31". I was always thin until I hit 21, then everything I ate stuck to me like glue because of the alcohol.
I went to a GP in the January but due to the anxiety they didn't think I would be up for the MRI, had to sort the anxiety first, which he believed was giving me the pains, but wasn't willing to give me anything for it. I wasn't up for being a zombie and was told he can see I'm mentally strong enough to get over this with coping mechanisms which I already reeled off a list to him. I've read a lot on anxiety and I mean a lot. I'm an unprofessional expert. Kinda.
So that's where it really got left. Truth to be told the anxiety hasn't improved, pains have got worse. And then yesterday. Well it started on Wednesday night where I visited the toilet every hour from 5pm, through the night, barely slept. Eat 3 Vindaloo's back to back and that might trigger the same reaction. Now baring in mind my diet is down to pretty much potato, chicken, fish something wasn't right.
Yesterday around 10.30 emptying what seemed to be a never ending supply of rear sewage I had a sharp pain in my stomach, how I'm guessing you would feel had you been stabbed. My stomach went numb an pretty much took my legs away from me. Crawled back to the sofa, with an odd numb, throbbing pain.
Home alone, as I was when swallowing the denture I freaked out a little, thought this was the day I had been waiting for convinced this denture would rupture something. Crawled to the front door to unlock it as the plan was to ring an ambulance, the pain was that severe when trying to walk just brought me back to my knees.
11.18am and 4 minutes on the phone to 999 they suggested I either walk to the hospital or go to my local GP before advising me to ring 111 before disconnecting. I wasn't life threatening to them.
111 was a 20 minute call, trying to replay a story to someone on the phone wasn't easy in so much pain but the 2nd operator in agreed to send an ambulance but I'm not priority and would be with me within 2 hours.
Phoned the missus, no answer. She works an hour away.
Used my second life line and phoned a friend who dragged me into his car, on arriving at the hospital the queue for A&E reception was out the main doors. This would have been an hour wait just to get to reception so we went back to mine to wait out for the ambulance. 
Ambulance arrived just after 4pm, 5hrs later, by now the pain had dulled a little but the paramedics were concerned and hauled me in the back and wheeled me off to hospital, bypassing all the walk ins I was put on a IV straight away and looked at super quick.
I will skip the next further 5 hours of what he and she said, but after a finger up the rear and 5 hours of tests my blood showed inflammation of the bowl.
The surgeon I think she said she was, debated over a CT scan last night, keeping me in or letting me go and come back in the morning. It was to check for signs of Colitis or Diverticulitis which they believe it is.
I questioned if the denture would show on this, what denture? I then had to explain from the start again how the pains all started from this, quickly scuttled away to speak with the registrar after informing me they will probably scan me tonight and keep me in.
10 minutes later, I'm told it's highly unlikely, almost impossible that the denture is still inside me after this long. They have seen much large items pass through the system and out the other end. Not convinced I keep pushing her on this, and told you would be surprised what the human body can do. Missus gave me the I told you so look. As they do.
Also because of the material a CT scan would not show it up. On the advice from this unseen registrar the denture was not any concern, that's long gone, Colitis or Diverticulitis is the main concern and to have this confirmed they need to run a Colonoscopy. 
I pushed for a MRI scan still believing this all can't be a coincidence with the timing but was told they wouldn't do one just for my peace of mind, I argued the case of the bloke that swallowed a plastic fork and was in him for 10 years which I read online, I was told to stay off the internet, no chance.
So that's basically where I am. Trawling through Colitis information last night, all sounds like me, even have the mouth ulcers and dodgy joints to go with it. Sounds plausible and despite being a life long condition after this long I have no fear over a diagnosis as medication is available, if I can return to a "normal" life whilst managing the symptoms it's better than the alternative of nothing found, MRI now....oh look the denture, under the knife you go and selling my story to The Sun for £100.
As I say, the reason I'm posting this isn't sympathy, definitely don't want any, my own fault for doing a Nigel Pearson for 3 years, I should have been hammering down the GP door every week. 
That's your update and as for the podcast, maybe one day if they figure this out, don't want to commit to anything when I feel so crap.