Tony Le Mesmer

Channel 5
Amazingly not another tacky braindead show about someone being on benefits but tonight they have a programme called.....
Extreme Embalming
Sod Monkey Tennis, Inner City Sumo and Cooking in Prison and even Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank. Channel 5 have evolved.

Channel 5
Amazingly not another tacky braindead show about someone being on benefits but tonight they have a programme called.....
Extreme Embalming
Sod Monkey Tennis, Inner City Sumo and Cooking in Prison and even Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank. Channel 5 have evolved.

the state of the Gents in various busy places, such as pubs, clubs and football stadia.
What is it about busy toilets that means people cannot piss properly, cannot flush a chain, and cannot avoid vandalising them?
I think you've got to be some sort of backwards person if you think making the state of toilets worse that they already are is somewhat acceptable. I prefer to leave the toilets as nice as possible, cos that's how I like them to be when I need to use them.
 
Oh, and Audi owners.

I think Birch is still alive (by the skin of his teeth), and I understand the 'light show' was on 10 minutes, on the basis that his shirt number was No 10.
Good, honest bloke, Birchinall, raised oodles of cash for his club** over the decades, much as I despise anything to do with Leicester City. I agree it's tacky though.
** Actually, I think his big thing was having defibrilators at every football ground, an item which saved his life this week.

Happens to me all the time. Winds me right up. Also this. I'll pull into the car park of a supermarket as an example and I always park where there are lots of empty bays at either side of me.
Anyway, I've parked up and turned the engine off and started to fumble around for money and bits and bobs.Then about 10 seconds before I plan to open my car door some bonehead will swing his / her car right into the bay next to my drivers door so I can hardly get out.

Back on the old favourite tonight.
Scarborough Fair IPA brewed in one of my old haunts, the village of Wold Newton near Hunmanby, Filey by Wold Top in the Yorkshire Wolds.
Gluten free and 6% vol.
Mmmmmmmm. nice
As the bloke from the Fast Show Jazz Club used to say.
If anyone could find a stock photo and stick it up it would be great!

Noticed during the Leicester v Chelsea game today that there was what I've found out is known as a 'light show' as a tribute to someone who has passed away.
Basically supporters whip out their mobile phones and show the light so it looks like everyone is holding a candle inside the stadium.
The Leicester fans did this today for Alan Birchinall.
Am I alone in finding such a tribute cheap and nasty? It may be the modern way of doing it nowadays but I found it impersonal, throwaway and in fact a little disrespectful. It felt like a fad.
Am I being unreasonable here?

It's a bit cheapo definitely but seems to fit in with the 'mood' of today.
Not my thing to be honest but then again I'd rather stick a fork in my knee than watch x factor or its ilk so I'm in the minority (or a Victor as my wife describes me...Often)

Mate is a ST holder at Oakwell. Hourihane is class apparently so I have to take it from the horses mouth. He is furious at losing Winnall for peanuts even though he's out of contract in the summer and losing Hourihane for peanuts would top it off. Especially I they both end up at Wendies.
Perhaps Derby can step in and ensure that doesn't happen?

Mate is a ST holder at Oakwell. Hourihane is class apparently so I have to take it from the horses mouth. He is furious at losing Winnall for peanuts even though he's out of contract in the summer and losing Hourihane for peanuts would top it off. Especially I they both end up at Wendies.
Perhaps Derby can step in and ensure that doesn't happen?

The grocery store routine annoys me a tad. At the checkout counter it's like filling out a survey. It's yes i want a bag, no i pay with cash and yes i want a receipt and then you get how many bags and do you have a store savings blabla card? and i don't know what else and i am going no i just wanna get out of here lady and the guy ahead of me is still putting away his four items and the couple behind me is getting restless and my crotch is itching and Donna Summer is discoing from the store speakers and the checkout girl is dreaming of Africa and my wife is giving me that warning look and i'm counting chickens and we're all in some kind of hell.

Shop workers who ask you if you need any help as soon as you wander into the shop.
"Do you need any help sir?"
"Yes please, would you mind opening the door for me on my way out?"
I find it intimidating and patronising. I am an adult which usually means I have the capability of asking for assistance if that need arises.
 

That barely qualifies as a sentence to @Tony Le Mesmer.

I'd like to shake him.....alot.

Just hurt him enough for a walk-in centre, not enough for A&E.
Every day for the rest of his life.

Funnily enough, I was having an issue with Derby City Council recently which I was struggling to get help with.
In a frustrated moment I contacted the Derby Telegraph and explained the (very boring) story to them and asked if they were interested in doing a piece  on it.
The News Desk  virtually snapped my hand off and were pushing me to meet up with the journalist.
In the meantime the Council finally got in touch and were really helpful and resolved the issue almost immediately and very professionally.
I called the paper back and explained it was resolved and that I was happy to go ahead with the story as a “good news” piece about how helpful the Council had been, and they said “not interested, we only want stories about the council being crap” ?!

.........and media organisations generally being so desperate for a news story, any news story to fill their clickbait twitter feeds/online pages. Got to be refreshed as much as possible to get that advertising revenue, cos nobody buys newspapers any more.
Hopefully a day will come soon when all this pulsating mass of pointless stuff reaches critical mass and disappears up Rupert Murdoch's backside.

These people are everywhere Paul. I saw in the York Press the other week a story of a mum whose kid wasn't given a Christmas dinner by his school.
Apparently parents had to hand in a slip confirming their child would like a Christmas dinner. There was a genuine mix up for which the school apologised for and as a result the kid didn't get a Christmas dinner.
The parent went to the press and they ran this ridiculous non story. Later on in the small text of the story it transpires that the kid did still get a school dinner but just not a Christmas one. They didn't just leave him there ostracised in a corner to starve which is the impression you got when you read the headline.
So where's the story? Where is the need for outrage. Kid got fed. Crackers.

These people are everywhere Paul. I saw in the York Press the other week a story of a mum whose kid wasn't given a Christmas dinner by his school.
Apparently parents had to hand in a slip confirming their child would like a Christmas dinner. There was a genuine mix up for which the school apologised for and as a result the kid didn't get a Christmas dinner.
The parent went to the press and they ran this ridiculous non story. Later on in the small text of the story it transpires that the kid did still get a school dinner but just not a Christmas one. They didn't just leave him there ostracised in a corner to starve which is the impression you got when you read the headline.
So where's the story? Where is the need for outrage. Kid got fed. Crackers.

Happens to me all the time. Winds me right up. Also this. I'll pull into the car park of a supermarket as an example and I always park where there are lots of empty bays at either side of me.
Anyway, I've parked up and turned the engine off and started to fumble around for money and bits and bobs.Then about 10 seconds before I plan to open my car door some bonehead will swing his / her car right into the bay next to my drivers door so I can hardly get out.

I used to caravan for my sins and one of the things that drove me mental was going into an empty line of 6 loos,getting settled,then some dirty old sod deciding that the perfect cubicle for them to deliver their loud and foul load wasn't in a cubicle furthest from me but the one right next to me....this happened on numerous occasions and I wanted to kill each and everyone of them....and one day,I may do

I prefer to go at work.  There's a lovely spacious disabled loo that nobody except me uses, where I can gather my thoughts and not have to listen to blokes who believe the louder the bowel movements, the manlier they are.